GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RANGERS at GIANTS 10/27 WORLD SERIES GAME 1

Man, great fucking night…..still getting over a cold with a throat that really shouldn’t be doing any yelling….. got out of work in plenty of time to get to the game and settle into my seat 24 rows up into the bleachers…….so fucking surreal…..Giants caps and jackets with that World Series patch…. the media crawling everywhere and a whole alien world feeling to a ballpark I have frequented at least a couple hundred times the past 10 years……after a few innings it started to feel like a baseball game again….and then after the 5th inning it was just a tidal wave of emotion…..celebration…..and cheering…..and somewhere in the midst of all that yelling from that raw broken throat…..I tasted blood…..now some might think it was from that damaged esophagus of mine…..but I think it was the Blood of the Texas Rangers…..and much like a wounded animal, they are dangerous……so get them while they are off balance and do as much damage as possible before we get to Texas….a 7 game series is a long time and today we got a Big win versus their ace…..but it was just 1 win……you need 3 more to bring home a trophy…….

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RANGERS at GIANTS 10/27 WORLD SERIES GAME 1

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

Man…..Sanchez was looking pretty dumb following the Timmy Brainfart inning getting his ass doubled off 2nd…….but he made up for it in spades with a double in the 3rd to knock in the Giants first run of the night and send the tying run to 3rd with 1 out…..and then again in the 5th doubling home the go ahead run….and just to put a cap on the night he knocked home in number 10 for one hell of a night……

TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE
Of course the 3 run bomb…..but also a BIG DP in the 1st to bail Timmy out (glad Pablo wasn't out there) and then a scoot and throw on Micheal Young grounder……

RENTERIA
Solid D including gunning Ian Kinsler on a grounder that looked like it might be headed up the middle…. Uribe and Rent….may not the best range, but they make solid plays on everything they get to…..you gotta stay with this left side for the rest of the series……

TORRES
Double and a HBP and 2 runs scored…..

HUFF
3 hits and his bat is heating up

ROSS/POSEY
lone hits came in the middle of rallies…..

CASILLA
Restored order with a big strike out to bail out Timmy in the 6th…and then worked through a Huff error in the 7th

ROMO
Pitched through a chop hit to get it to the 9th……

WILSON
Meh…..we got the win

JOKER

LEE

The most popular question I have received the last few days was….."So like….uhh, what you think of Cliff Lee?"…….my response……he's a pitcher and last I saw he has an ERA above 0…….I was more worried about Halladay Hamels and Derek Lowe….sure, the Giants have more history against those pitchers…..but all three of those guys have better STUFF than Lee….now don't get me wrong, Lee is a great pitcher….but he can be had…..he lives off control and if he isn't hitting his spots, then he can be hit….now you can say that about a lot of pitchers….but with Lee he is hitting his spots like a Left Handed Greg Maddux…….and those off nights are few ……so good news is the Giants were able to lay off teasers and punish mistakes and get the W…..but just cause we got him here in SF doesn't mean he won't come out with a Gem in Arlington in game 5…..but then again, we have proven he is human after all….and that’s gotta help any future matchup……..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
TIMMY
About a big a brain fart as I have seen in a long time….that was so bad I actually.saw an infant in a stroller jump to his feet and utter his first words….."WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING??? THROW THE BALL DAMMIT…"….I don't suggest taking your youngster to a ballgame that young, they can be very impressionable…..

YOUNG
His bobble at 3rd seemed innocent enough….but was the start of the game winning rally……

KINSLER
What the hell…..does he make a habit of bonehead baserunning when his team trails late in a game??

BIG BAD VLAD
Man, this dude isn't a BAD fielder…..he is a LAZY fielder…..I don't think he has run more than 90 feet in a day, let alone an inning…..shit he made Jose Guillen seem mobile……

NATIONAL PRESS
Just shut the fuck up……shut it and open your goddamn eyes…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> REDS at GIANTS 08/23

Back from the dead…..much like the Giants on this last road trip, I was beaten up and tired over the last week…..I won't go into details, but my day job requires that I be a very (self) important man with lots of important responsibilities….but being a super genius, this comes with the territory ….. so enough whining and back to work……at least back to my real job, and that’s entertaining you shlubs…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> REDS at GIANTS 08/23

GAMEBALL

SANCHIE

Today's 4 hit game was a nice reprive for our resident "Former All Star Former Batting Champ" ™ who is in the midst of his worst year of his career….coming of surgery he has posted a career low .261 batting average with a career low OPS of .642…..but tonight he was able to lace a big 2 run double down the left field line, collect a pair of singles only to get gunned down on a pair of failed sacrifices…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
HUFF
I think we can say for certain that mini-slump is done, with tonight's effort that is 2 homers 7 hits 4 walks and 5 RBI in the last 4 games…..Huff got the Giants on the board in the 1st, and then helped add on with a BOMB to the part of the Arcade reserved for the Big Boys….tough choice to miss the gameball, but had to give it to Sanchie with the 4 hits…..maybe if Huff makes one of the two missed great plays it would swing it back to Huff…..but something tells me that Huff still has a few more Gameballs coming this year

TORRES
A pair of walks in the 1st inning, and a two run tater in the bottom of the 3rd inning to answer the Reds 2 spot in the top half and to send this into laugher territory…….

SANDOVAL
The two leading men of 2009 have had a hard time following up their performances….and while Timmy's struggles seem to mount…..Pablo looks like he is starting to break through…..yeah, we have said it before, but I really mean it this time…..

CAIN
After a little hiccup in the 3rd, bared down and retired 57 in a row or something……and after 2 failed bunts, was able to get that 3rd one down……avoiding the Pink Sambero…..which is 3 failed sacrifice bunts…..and yes, I just invented that……

LOPEZ
Just for the 0-2 pitch on Votto that looked made him look like Jean Van De Velde hacking at the grass in 1999

SABEAN
For a team that still has its best days ahead of it, didn't break up the core in the majors or minors, and even kept basically every prospect of value……while adding spare parts in Burrell, Ross, Guillen, Lopez, Fontenot and Ramirez……

JOKER

ROWAND

Well, despite a decent performance in a reserve role, you have gone from a nice spare part to a complete waste of a roster spot….Ross is a better hitter, can play all 3 outfield positions, and is right handed…….basically making Rowand completely obsolete…….he's not even the spare tire in the trunk…..more like the shredded tire with steel belts exposed that is too beaten up to even be used as a tire swing……nope all this tire is good for, is costing you that damn recycling fee at the local dump……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROSS
Well, good news is he has a job……bad news…..lost a mostly full time gig, and was traded for nothing…….and I can't help but think back to your days as a Dodger……and your last play as a Dodger….When Omar turned a kick ass DP….and you were traded for PTBNL within a week……

MOTA
Got the Grissom Treatment…..DL'ed for a phantom injury…..and this time that injury was something called TI Syndrome…..apparently it means you are Butt Hurt…..sounds like the same injury Molina had when he didn't get a fat contract this offseason……

0-FER-RIBE
Well, someone had to take the collar…..and that was Juan, left out of the party and taking a big O fer

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-28

Little shorter than usual…..just cause im pissed


OK, so I am in my car and radio station is still on KNBR… which is one of the only clear real stations I can get out here in the boonies…..well "Mr T" was going over the stats comparing the Padres and the Giants and wondering how the Padres were in first ahead of the Giants…..well, since you know nothing about baseball and obviously aren't paying attention let me break it down for you…..THE GIANTS PLAY LIKE SHIT VERSUS THE PADRES …..yes, you heard it, you seen it, you know it……both teams have their warts, but when you are 1-7 versus the Pads…..well….we know who the first place team is there….……Now in the 4 game we have played against the Dodgers…..well the Giants are 1-3 with 2 heart breaking losses…..2 losses that stick in your craw….2 losses that SHOULD motivate…..Giants still have about 14 games left versus the Dodgers so the head to head series hasn't really even started……but if the Giants don't find a way to beat the Dodgers and continue their losing ways against the Padres….NO WAY they make the playoffs……this isn’t a bad team, but this team isn't strong enough to overcome losing that many division games…..SO BEAT THE FUCKING DODGERS ALREADY

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-28

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

2 hits including the tying single in the 6th…..and most impressive….27 pitches in 4 at bats…..on a hacky team, this is a godsend…..


TIP OF THE CAP :
HUFF
2 hits including an RBI Single in the first and a great play in Left giving up the body…..gotta love the Huff

BURRELL
2 hard hit singles and a good chew on Torres after his bonehead in the 3rd…..gotta love this guy, he seems to be all about winning…….

ZITO
Wasn't great, but I am happy with just less suck…..and honestly was even better than that…..

ISHI/ NATE
Both came through with pinch hits…Ishi came around to score his…..Nate gave us hope in the 9th……

JOKER

PANDA

Obvious choice…..man THE bonehead move of the game, the week, the month…..its been hashed and rehashed…..bottom line, he had a brain fart…..hopefully he learned from it……this has been a strange year for Pablo as we are used to him making that heady sometimes amazing plays in the field and on the bases….this year….well, he has been in Full Panic Mode too often…..lost in this gaffe was 2 hard hit balls and a walk looking like the hitter we saw last year……but after the gaffe he had taken from him the only thing he likes more than Lasagna ….At Bats…….probably the first time he has been pinch hit for with the a game on the line in his life…..lets hope that’s a wake up call, cause without Panda, this team is very limited in how far it can go……he is the only hitter on the team with MVP potential….he needs to be the hitter in the middle everyone fears……


SMACK OF THE STICK :
RENT
2 DP…..well 1 GIDP….and 1 failing getting the runner in from 3rd with 0 out……

TORRES
bad angle on Manny's ball in the 3rd lead directly to a run…..2 out there, slim chance to make that catch…..gotta cut that ball off……negates the grind it out run in the 1st……

POSEY
Its kinda rough to drop the kid here, but one thing bothers me on this AB….8 pitches 7 fastballs ….and Kou couldn't get the slider over to save his life…..against this limited arsenal he still chased ball 4 with 1st and 3rd and one out..;…yeah, would love a extra base hit there, but know the situation….a single or a walk gets the tying run into scoring position…..when you get to two strikes shorten up and battle….you don't try to jerk a head high fastball off the plate away over the left field fence….even if you are a golden god……don't be greedy…..

CASILLA
Great stuff……but he pulled a Romo… when you groove a belt high fastball on a 3-2 count with 2 out….well, you just close your eyes and pray……and praying didn't help…..


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/20

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/20

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

Well it wasn't exactly an all star performance tonight, but he looked pretty good out there making a nifty play at 2nd and chugging around to score from 1st on a bobbled double in the 1st……if he can provide some stability to the lineup, then welcome to the team…..and hey…..he made it through a whole game without having clandestine surgery….and that alone for glass Freddy is worth a GAMEBALL

TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE/ BOWKER
Back to Back……got the Giants rolling back into the game…..and those weren't no cheapies…….

HUFF
Maybe not an "all star" like Freddy, but we may have a 1/2 way legitmate 1st baseman…..nahhhhhhhh

BOCHY
For chirping enough to get thrown out once in a while, and for actually trying something different and batting the pitcher 8th…..wow…..thats not old school…….



JOKER

BULLPEN

On a night when the Offense stepped it up…… the bullpen couldn't come through….. the Merkin proclaimed Bad Ass Bullpen got Torpedoed like a South Korean Warship in the Yellow Sea …..Romo and Runzler had their moments, but were quickly outclassed……then Mota and Affeldt were straight up hittable to cough up the lead and then some……if the Giants are going to sniff October they are going to need these JOKERS to live up to their billing….I don't care who the opposition…..yeah the DBacks are hot….. but if you ever want that ring you are going to have to get past an offense like the D Rays, or Yankees……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
TIMMY
A day after watching Wellemeyer get his ass handed to him, Timmy didn’t fare much better…..control wasn't there at all…..5 walks and way way too many balls left up in the zone…..it was Timmy's first real stinker of the year and he still almost got a W…….well….not really……

WEGNER
What a winey little bitch…..zone wasn't THAT bad, but this guy has a big time chip on his shoulder…..what the hell could have Big Head said to get you so riled up……

MERKIN
Getting formulaic with the write up….pick on some one…..compare them to news headlines…..tomorrow…..A's slam Zito like India got slammed by Cyclone Laila……and by the way……is it just me, why do I think Kim Jong Il is what Al Davis would be like if he ran a country…..and liked Kimchi…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

Giants Infielders 2010 ..... GAMER or HEADCASE Pt 2

Ok, looks like we are rolling… so stay with me as we move to the infield with GAMER or HEADCASE……or to put it in 2010 marketing speak, ILLUSION or TRICK

The PANDA
Instead of an offseason talking about how Pablo had the best first full season by a Giants homegrown player since Will Clark in 1987, instead of talking about Pablo hitting the most homers by a homegrown player since Matt Williams in 1994…all we heard this offseason was detailed diet and workout plans of Operation Panda….good bless Pablo, man…. after a season like Pablo had, any other player in the league would have blown a gasket when every question was about how many slices of Pizza he ate this offseason.. DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING BASEBALL????? Pablo hit .330 BA with 25 BOMBS PEOPLE……yeah, he could use some guidance with his diet and fitness, but do you have to make that the Giants Headline all season long???? Is the Front office even fucking thinking???? Sorry guys, if I had habits to change and it became a headline…..I am eating fucking handfuls of goddamn twinkies just to spite the powers that be…….thank god Pablo is such a good natured son of a bitch……..oh yeah, expect more of the same….
VERDICT: GAMER

EDGAR RENTERIA
Well ain't that a bitch, Sabean rewards player with a rich contract only to watch their career worst year (stop me if you heard this one before)…..bone chips? ok, I buy that……332 BA from 2007? THAT I don't buy…. best case, .270-290 BA ..330-.350 OBP with 10-15 HR…..but now 2 years removed from his career year coming off surgery and turning 34 this season??? I am guessing we are looking at .260 BA .320 OBP with 10-15 HR…..at least if the wheels don't fall off……
VERDICT: SNOOZER

FREDDY SANCHEZ
All Star Batting Champ Freddy Sanchez…..This is some sort of bad joke right??? I am thinking a better moniker would be Sabean's Yearly Contract to Regret Circa 2010 Freddy Sanchez…. Knee + Knee +Shoulder, good god, hope he gets traded to Toronto so he can take advantage of that Universal Canuck healthcare……Prediction for 2010? limited 350 at bats after bouts with Rickets Shingles and Gout……
VERDICT: PRETENDER

AUBREY HUFF
Ok, so who the fuck names their kid AUBREY??? Guess that was an easy shot, but it needed to b said. Pasty flabby white guy that would looks more like a professional bowler, than a baseball player. Sure that's racist, but he's white so its OK ;)…Anyways, the guy certainly has pop in his bat, but the hard part is getting the bat to contact the ball….hell, even getting his glove to contact the ball is an issue at times…..He better come out of the gate with a bushel of bombs, or the Giants faithful won't stand for his defense…. and yes, after watching JT for so many years, and even Ishi and Galarraga we are a bit spoiled……average first baseman = butcher in SF Giants fan speak… add that to his reputation of "having a good time and this don't look good..…Really this could go either way, but I think AT&T is going to kill his power, as many those homers robbed by the Brick Wall in Right and Triples alley are turning into Doubles and even Singles with his foot speed…..(9 of 204 career HR went OPPO)….Hope I am wrong but I don't see him getting more than 400AB's with 10-15 HR's….
VERDICT: HEADCASE

TRAVIS ISHIKAWA
Ahh Travis, our hearts may wonder but they always come back to you….Glove so slick, bat so powerful…..so why don't you just break out already……I am still hopeful, as Travis is still young enough to become a solid player, but time and opportunities aren't unlimited…. I remained convinced there is something mechanically wrong with Travis…..I have never seen a player look like he is right on a pitch only to do the swing through….I am predicting……ok, maybe praying that Bam Bam can fix whatever is wrong…but I doubt it…….really in the end I will be forced to realize our
VERDICT: HEADCASE

JUAN URIBE
Much like Krukowisms, best served in small doses…..not he isn't the .300 hitter you saw last year, no he won't fulfill the promise he showed as a Rockies Prospect at the beginning of the Millennium…..but he WILL play any time he is asked and any where he is asked without complaint….and he WILL swing at a high fast ball like a starving Filipino Boy presented with a Piñata stuffed with Lumpia and Spam…..I mean, good god when a hitter swings this hard without snapping a bone or tearing a ligament its hard not to like….especially when every once in a while he connects…..in extras…..to beat the DOGGIES…..
VERDICT: GAMER


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER 08/02 PHILLIES at GIANTS

What a glorious day at the yard, going for the series win versus the Phillies, Giants fans were out in full force . The slightly overcast misty morning gave way to a warm cool sunny Sunday unique to summers at AT&T Park. The Pablo shirt giveaway went without a hitch and 22 of the 25 seats were occupied. We had some fun cheering the home team and jeering the visitors, put a few names to faces and called each other by pseudo embarrassing screen names in public……

GAMEBALL and JOKER 08/02 PHILLIES at GIANTS

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

The newly minted 2nd baseman and #2 hitter overcame an early miscue and came up with the hit of the game, a 2 out 2 run double that tied the game and set the Giants offense in motion…. Sanchez looked as good as advertised in his Giants debut and lets hope that magic wand of his is working down the stretch……20 more doubles, yes I think that would make me happy.……

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
Freddy has been a welcome addition, but the best trade deadline move was when we sent Matt Downs to Fresno for Eugenio Velez. this kid has been playing all over the diamond and hitting every time he has been given the chance…recalled at the beginning of the homestand and with a hit in every game since…..thats .461 with 7 RBI, 5 Runs, and 3 BB…..if this kid keeps it going, the Giants are going to be tough to beat down the stretch…..

ZITO
I think we learned a little about Zito today…..first of all he twice had the chance to melt down and stayed with em….in the 4th following the Home Run and Error, and in the 5th following back to back hits and the take of 2nd on a throw to the plate that shorthopped Whiteside to allow a runner to advance…..in fact, after each miscue I almost expected Zito to melt down…..but he held fast and not only got out of trouble he started the game changing 2 out rally with a single up the middle and then after the Giants took the lead…..came back out for a shutdown 1-2-3 inning with 2 K's……Zito might have been able to go another inning or two, if it wasn't for a bases loaded no out situation knocking him out in the bottom of the 6th……

BULLPEN
Romo, Affeldt, Medders, and Howry were able to keep the Phillies bats at bay with 4 solid innings

ROWAND
Got the Giants on the board with a 0 out triple that woulda been out of about 29 other parks…..

RENTERIA
Love those doubles down the line and a nice 1 hop snag in the 9th

JOAQUIN
Welcome to the show, although only the interwebbing baseball geeks even know you are on the roster

BOCHY
Belated kudos for yesterday….pulling Timmy after 118 with a shutout through 8….visions of that 138 pitch outing in my head……

JOKER

MANUEL

So how many all stars does it take to take a series from the Giants at home???? Well obviously more than the Phillies could muster as they got humbled by every Giants starter not named Sadowski…… but really that’s not why I have him here……and, not its not about the all star nepotism…. for me the Phillies have been a team that has won DESPITE Charlie….. loaded with talent for years, 2008 was going to happen sooner or later…….So what influence does a manager have on his team? Well handing the pitching staff is at the top of the list, and using your pitchers wisely and keeping them healthy is paramount……So here we have Phenom Cole Hamels, who at one point was considered the equal or even superior to Lincecum as far as rising young pitching star.….but after Hammels was after being ridden all year 2008 is struggling to maintain league average numbers….…..Well at least they got a ring out of Hamels' arm……. But the one move that drives me nuts to this day is when he took Opening Day starter and Staff Ace Brett Myers and shifted him to the Pen as the Closer after 3 starts in 2007…..what the fuck, your best starter is now a reliever???? Well guess what happened……Myers went down 2 months with a sore elbow and hasn't been the same pitcher since……FUCKING GENIUS MANUEL…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
VICTORINO
Poor little Shane…..went down with a "bruised knee" on Wednesday and expects to return as soon as the Phillies leave San Francisco……depriving Giants fans from getting a good heckle on your sorry ass…….don't worry we won't forget……

GARKO
OOooo boy, be careful Ryan, first impressions can stay with you a long time….better walk carefully around those reporters and stick the "Bull Durham" script….happy the team won, just taking it day to day, all that shit…..cause if you ain't hitting and ain't scooping, you have better get used to those AT&T Wind popups really quick, especially when your Right Side Partner is also a new comer to the winds and is just as likely to yell "YOU GOT IT" as "I HAVE IT"……..

HOWARD
Looking horrible at the plate and in the field...... K's whiffing on a 86 MPH fastball, K's watching a 0-2 curve down the pipe, and his "overlobbing" Hammels plated the go ahead run....... Howard, you can be MY all star anyday....

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