GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 05/18

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 05/18

GAMEBALL

DOWNS

Good god, this had 57 innings written all over it……neither team could so much as muster a groundball to the pitcher…….but Matty came to the rescue with a 2 out double to get the Giants a pair of runs in the 12th….and then came around to score the #7 on a single……all of this part of a 3 hit 1 walk night…….good work on the GAMEBALL…..and I think this kid has earned himself a big league paycheck for at least a few years to come…..well, from somebody at least…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
Dropped a single to center to plate Downs in the 12th while trying not to drop his drawers…..

TORRES
Man, that homer had a Bondseque sound to it…..was great at the time, but as the game dragged on it began to look like a cruel tease……until Downs……and what the fuck was that bat twirl shit in the 9th….right before you struck out on a nasty curve with a runner on 2nd…..dude……if Dallas Braden was pitching, there would have been a shouting match and then a post game press conference to discuss…..

WHITESIDE
Another "backup" gets on the top half of the writeup….BEAUTIFUL play giving up the body for the 2nd out in the 12th, shit like that gets you more service time in the show…..that and legging out an infield single for an RBI in the 4th…

NATE
Little bloop shot got the Giants on the board in the 4th

MEDDERS/ AFFELDT/ MOTA/ RUNZLER
A little shaky here and there, but 5 innings of shut out ball from the middle of the pen is what is going to take this team to the promised land……well, maybe at least to September…..

ROWAND
3 hits…..3 K's……7 AB's…….750 BABIP…..unsustainable…(here is where the stat heads should laugh)

JOKER

ECKSTEIN

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, you little fucking gnat bastard…..Not only have I had Bowel Movements bigger that you….. they were better formed, had better consistency, and had 10x the talent you have…..I just wish you would just go back to your goddamn tree and get back to making fucking cookies, you rat bastard JOKER……ok…..now I feel better……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
SCOTT HAIRSTON
May wolverines devour your testicles

WILSON
Do we KEEP having to do this over and over……. Greg Minton, Scott Garrelts, Jeff Brantley and whatever Giants closer not named Beck or Nen would be proud…..

FREDDY SANCHEZ
Dude…..something weird is going on here…..DeRosa throws Sanchey under the bus??? I thought DeRosa was "Mr Teammate"…..somebody is the ass here…….and since DeRosa seems to be brutally honest…..I am guessing its Freddy…..of course the jury remains out…..

HANLEY RAMIREZ
Hey…..need a change of scenery?? I hear not only do the Giants have a first class facility….but Superstar players get a whole row of lockers….a recliner…..and unconditionally love as long as you hit……jog out a pop out???/ Hey. it’s a long season…..just conserving power

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/23 GIANTS at BRAVES

BIG WIN…..and you hear it all the time, but today was a big one for the records and for the psyche…..avoiding the sweep is a huge lift to an otherwise fucked up visit to Atlanta….but it also put the stop to what could be the beginning of a BIG slide……a 3 game slide is nothing….as the Giants have had a 6 game slide and two 4 game slides already this season…..and even though they have been outclassed the entire roadtrip, they have only fallen 3 games off the All Star Break mark…..not great, but considering how bad they have looked, and how tough the competition has played this could have easily been a 0-7 trip…..now comes the fun part……Visiting the Rockies…..with Cain vs Hammel in a game that is just as big as today……first you want to get off to a good start after flopping in the openers in Pittsburg and Atlanta….second, it’s the best pitching matchup for the Giants…..after Cain it’s a crap shoot with Sanchez and Sadowski in Coors……

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/23 GIANTS at BRAVES

GAMEBALL

ZITO

Baseball is a funny game…. and "what have you done for me lately" is in full operation……so forget the pre all star break Zito, and embrace the "New Zito"…..the twitterless Zito was effective in his second start in a row….not especially sharp, and maybe a little lucky……but I tell you one thing, he was making the pitches when he needed to and that curve had a nice tight snap to it, looking like the plus plus pitch we marveled at from across the bay…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
NATE
With Bowker and Lewis threatening his job, Nate gave us a nice performance with a great play up against the wall in right, then a come backer to knock Mike Gonzales from the game and a hustle score from 2nd on a bunt to take the lead….. Nate with 3 hits in total including 2 off lefties

ISHIKAWA
Goodness gracious….3 hits including a hustle bunt and no strikeouts……keep the contact going kid, making contact is 1/2 the battle…..

URIBE
Hustles down the line and then the header on the ball for the lead……if you get hit in the head with the ball, you should get an RBI…..just my opinion…….and then another hustle play trying to take third leads to another errant throw and a run……

WINN
Warming up again with a 2 out hit to pick up Bowker and Downs……

LEWIS/ SANDOVAL
1st inning walk / Double got the Giants on the board early…..and for this team that’s a big deal…..

JOKER

DOWNS

This kid is the Sadowski of 2nd base… and neither kid shouldn’t be here….. some quick early success followed by the realization that his minor league track record tells the story….not a BAD player, but not a Major Leaguer either…..easy to like, carries himself with maturity…..both players may make the Majors as a useful piece someday, but both players are miscast in the starting roles they currently occupy and there are better alternatives in the minors…….you may know that I am no Franny lover, but the kid has done nothing but hit hit hit in the minors and despite his lack of power and speed, has an uncanny knack for putting the bat on the ball and contact is 1/2 the battle……so either the Giants have some grand plan in motion (unlikely), or they could be outmaneuvered by a 14 year old with a copy of Baseball Digest (more likely)……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
MOLINA
Took a fat 0 for 5…..despite having a few hard hit balls……I will give him a quick smack just for hacking…..but I am thinking this 0 for 5 coulda been a 3 for 5 with a little better luck

ESCOBAR
Oh man, despite this kids scorching hot bat, he really set the stage for the Giants win…..after his homer in his first AB, he took a juicy changeup just above the belt for ball 4…and started walking to 1st….too bad the UMP called it a strike… as Escobar telegraphed his feelings with body language, he really must have gotten under the umps skin……then in the 6th with the game in the balance, Escobar took a full count belt high curve for strike three setting up a strike em out throw em out DP…..the pitch was close for sure, but you KNOW after the BS complaining earlier in the game, the umpire was FORCED to stick to his guns and call that pitch as well……live and learn kid, 2 strikes means protect….if you are looking for a walk in that situation, more often than not you can turn tail and head back to the dugout……..


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GAMEBALL and JOKE 06/17 ANGELS at GIANTS

GODDAMN IT……FREAKING ANGELS come into town and whip our asses so hard……I felt like I was married to Tawny Kitaen……

An ugly day for sure…..so lets go to the Fangraphs
to see how bad it really was…..

Wait, not sorry…..wrong chart…..that's something called General Motors…….


Ahhh there we are, that’s better…..
Winners
Ishikawa +.095
Aurilia +.053
Romo +0.41

Losers
Tim -.180
Molina -.124
Rowand -.124

Wow…..what a fucked up game…..2 run lead coming off a Home Run from Ishikawa and Tim on the hill, the Giants cough it up…….no, not coughed……they choked on it like Mama Cass on a Ham Sandwich…….and like Mama Cass and GM, "at the end of the day" all that was left was a cold dead shell……

GAMEBALL and JOKE
06/17 ANGELS at GIANTS

GAMEBALL

DOWNS

OK, Brian….urrr….Kevin…..urrr….Matt….Matt right? OK, two hits and we can now put a Giants cap on your head…..Patient approach, stays within himself and uses the whole field…..not much power to speak of……not much speed……average defense……but the ability to make contact and make the pitcher work……So good job Mr Downs….and I will cut you a little slack…..that was Bang Bang at the plate, and you don't know where the ball is…..sure if you went in "Nate Style" you woulda scored…..but I'm pretty sure Flannery doesn't have a sign for "BLOW HIS ASS UP"…..and nice try on that line shot double deflected down the line…..that woulda been one hell of a play……so welcome to the big leagues…..and COUGH COUGH burriss woulda had that COUGH COUGH…….hey….anybody got a lozenge?

TIP OF THE CAP :
A's
FINALLY!!! Someone beats those fucking Dodgers

ISHIKAWA
Nice…..Travis makes an impression in return to the lineup with a deep double to right center and a line shot down the line…..for his 2nd dinger of the year…..this is the kind of game that can keep a kid in the lineup……ask Nate…….and most importantly to me…..No Strikeouts…..if he's not whiffing, you know he's moving in the right direction….

BOCHY
FINALLY, moving Panda back to 3rd was the right move……keeping Nate in the lineup was the right move….now I hear that Sanchez might be removed or skipped…….and honestly, when he pulled Nate for Aurilia….Rich was like hitting .345 with 4 HR in 29 AB v Oliver…..and Rowand had been the hot hand…..maybe not how I would want it played…..but I can't smack him for that…..


JOKER

RENT

Wow..thats a tough one……really a team loss…….but lets take this opportunity to trash on Renteria……Now I can understand wanting an offensive shortstop on a team weak at other positions……unfortunately Renteria has been the wrong kind of offensive (ok, stop groaning at the bad pun, you get what you pay for)……offering very little in the way of the bat……and WAY too little by way of the glove……a dribbler up the middle and a grounder in the hole……either would have been a good play, but after watching Omar a couple of years…..we got accustom to at least "good"……..the lack of range is ugly……but not nearly as ugly as his exchange and set up to throw and even his feel for the position……that force out at 2nd might have been a DP…..but he wasn't setup for a throw..he had the ball in his mitt in 2.9 Seconds and could easily side step the runner……hell that would give him 1 full second to get Aybar who runs about 4.2 .…..So what kinda of shortstop do we have???? Slow thinking slow footed slow exchange……hell I am beginning to wonder if he could even handle 3rd….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
MOLINA
Bat was cold with a big 0 for vs the 30 year old rookie…..and a passed ball that lead to the winning run…..maybe there is something to the day game after night game thing

ROWAND
Oooooo……ugly…..in the most pivotal at bat of the game, Rowand went fishing for slop off the plate……looks like the hot streak is over…..quick trade him while his numbers still look decent!!!

PANDA
Sorry Kid….0 for….and called out for your double clutch/ fumble by the only player more popular than you…..

NATE
Kid….I love ya…..but an 0 for with 2 K's makes me think I might see Lewis soon…..KEEP HITTING……PLEASE

TIM
Dude….I can understand your frustration, but keep it in the family……but even worse……what THE HELL IS THAT on your LIP???? You are lucky you are famous and semi-rich, other wise you would never get laid with a look like that…….I swear my 87 year old neighbor has a better mustache……she is one sweet lady…….just don't stare……
I just guess we can all be thankful you aren't hanging out with Affeldt…..


PS Yes, I know……..she didn't really die choking on a Ham Sandwich…..…I mean, that's just silly……..who chokes on a Ham Sandwich..it's just an urban legend……....she choked while eating the whole pig……

GAMEBALL and JOKE 06/16 ANGELS at GIANTS

GAMEBALL and JOKE
06/16 ANGELS at GIANTS

GAMEBALL

DOWNS

Welcome to the show Mr Downs…..You are walking in the shoes of such greats as Burriss, Dallimore, Castillo, Velez, Ochoa, Frandsen, Rohlinger, Denker, Vizcaino, De La Rosa, Chavez, Ransom, Perez, and Cruz who have all graced the keystone position since Kent left the "stupid" bay area for greener pastures……..so good job working your way through the minors and making it to the big leagues against long odds……Just do me one favor…..if that list of players teaches you one thing…well, yes….Ray Durham is looking pretty good……but the REAL Lesson..save your meal money…….

PS…Alfonzo??? Shit I had almost forgotten they had him at 2nd a few games…..
PSS Yes, Fresno hat….so what…..I mean why bother…..he'll be back in Fresno soon enough…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
TIM
What can you do when your team goes in the crapper early in the game???? Well, you keep root root rooting, while trying to imagine its tomorrow already and Tim is on the mound

FARM
Well, ok….besides Tim…..you can take a peek at the farm and see what's up…….
Bowker and Franny with HR's in AAA
Alderson 7 IP 2H 0R 2BB 5 K, for the W and a 1.82 ERA in AA
Broshius 7 IP 3H 0R 1BB 4 K, for the W and a 2.49 ERA in A+
Posey 2 for 4, Neal 3 for 5, and Kieschnick with his 10th HR in A+

JOKER

SANCHEZ

So what was I doing when Sanchez was getting the snot kicked out of him AGAIN????
Well besides dreaming of Tim and the Farm….I did a little light reading……
Wikipedia Baseball Transactions I will paraphrase here….."blah blah blah….3 option years….. blah blah blah…. 40 man roster ….blah blah blah ….20 days in minors ….blah blah blah…. send a sucky player to the minors …blah blah blah… 5 years service……." And after reading that, I just happened to go through the Giants transaction log and Sanchez service history……no reason really, just random…….well, as it so happens looks like Sanchez burned option years in 2006 and 2007…but not in 2008…..and he doesn't have enough service time to refuse an assignment……..long story short…..Sanchez better pick up a Fresno Bee and start looking for an apartment……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PABLO
Can sure swing it with a stick……buit the Kung Fu Panda looks like a retarded Harp Seal playing first…..with a pair of bumbles helped blow Sanchez's mind…….get that arm better quick….and move you ass back to third….he has the athleticism to react and throw…..but 1st base is more of a craft than pure ability……too much going on, too many options……and he just ain't cutting it……Ishikawa is light years better…..but what do you expect,….Ishi is a professional 1st sacker…..Pablo….1st base hasn't been his primary position since 2006……


BATS
Good god…..so who is this hot shot pitcher the Angels brought up…..another KRod or Lackey fresh from the minors to kick our ass????
Sean O'Sullivan….2009
AAA 5-2 6.02
AA 1-2 5.30
Hell, makes me think we should bring up Bumgarner and Alderson tomorrow….of course, they wouldn't get to pitch AGAINST the Giants….thats about 0.50 ERA points right there……

SABES
Franny, Burriss, Ishi, Downs, Holm, Whitehead, Misch Shuffle……..you couldn't have done it worse if you had planned it that way

A's
Lose in a walkoff to the Doggies….thanks a lot, jackasses…….

I know I am forgetting something……but screw it, you can figure it out yourselves……