GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 05/18

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 05/18

GAMEBALL

DOWNS

Good god, this had 57 innings written all over it……neither team could so much as muster a groundball to the pitcher…….but Matty came to the rescue with a 2 out double to get the Giants a pair of runs in the 12th….and then came around to score the #7 on a single……all of this part of a 3 hit 1 walk night…….good work on the GAMEBALL…..and I think this kid has earned himself a big league paycheck for at least a few years to come…..well, from somebody at least…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
Dropped a single to center to plate Downs in the 12th while trying not to drop his drawers…..

TORRES
Man, that homer had a Bondseque sound to it…..was great at the time, but as the game dragged on it began to look like a cruel tease……until Downs……and what the fuck was that bat twirl shit in the 9th….right before you struck out on a nasty curve with a runner on 2nd…..dude……if Dallas Braden was pitching, there would have been a shouting match and then a post game press conference to discuss…..

WHITESIDE
Another "backup" gets on the top half of the writeup….BEAUTIFUL play giving up the body for the 2nd out in the 12th, shit like that gets you more service time in the show…..that and legging out an infield single for an RBI in the 4th…

NATE
Little bloop shot got the Giants on the board in the 4th

MEDDERS/ AFFELDT/ MOTA/ RUNZLER
A little shaky here and there, but 5 innings of shut out ball from the middle of the pen is what is going to take this team to the promised land……well, maybe at least to September…..

ROWAND
3 hits…..3 K's……7 AB's…….750 BABIP…..unsustainable…(here is where the stat heads should laugh)

JOKER

ECKSTEIN

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, you little fucking gnat bastard…..Not only have I had Bowel Movements bigger that you….. they were better formed, had better consistency, and had 10x the talent you have…..I just wish you would just go back to your goddamn tree and get back to making fucking cookies, you rat bastard JOKER……ok…..now I feel better……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
SCOTT HAIRSTON
May wolverines devour your testicles

WILSON
Do we KEEP having to do this over and over……. Greg Minton, Scott Garrelts, Jeff Brantley and whatever Giants closer not named Beck or Nen would be proud…..

FREDDY SANCHEZ
Dude…..something weird is going on here…..DeRosa throws Sanchey under the bus??? I thought DeRosa was "Mr Teammate"…..somebody is the ass here…….and since DeRosa seems to be brutally honest…..I am guessing its Freddy…..of course the jury remains out…..

HANLEY RAMIREZ
Hey…..need a change of scenery?? I hear not only do the Giants have a first class facility….but Superstar players get a whole row of lockers….a recliner…..and unconditionally love as long as you hit……jog out a pop out???/ Hey. it’s a long season…..just conserving power

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-19

Ahh the Padres… what to do with these little fuckers…. not worthy of the full blown hate of the Dodgers….. no, the Padres hardly qualify for strong dislike…. No the Padres are more like that mildly retarded kid in the school yard…. you know the one that smells like sour milk and tucks in his t shirt? Yeah, he wants to be your friend, but honestly he is just kinda annoying more than anything….. you don’t' want to be mean to the kid, but you don't want anything to do with him either….Go away kid, go make friends with the cafeteria lady or something…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-19


GAMEBALL

URIBE

This guy is a piece of work, and it seems like timing is everything….two times in two nights Uribe has come up with a big late homer and both times the Giants could not cash in….I know what the career stats say, I know how old he is……but I just keep my eyes closed and clicking my ruby red slippers saying…."hitters can learn patience in their 30's, hitters can learn patience in their 30's" I mean how is this possible? A Pre Giants slash line of .253/ .295/ .423 turns into .293/ .334/ .492… Age is against him, BABIP says he is lucky….but if loving Juan is wrong, I don't wanna be right……and he certainly deserves that GAMEBALL….

TIP OF THE CAP :
AUBREY HUFFNSTUFF
As he gets more and more entrenched in our psyche, my head keeps going HERE Just hope Timmy lays off that magic flute on game day….

RENT
Nice double and take of 3rd on the bobble to set up the Giants 1st run….and sweet sneak attack bunt in extras……

CAIN
Not the sharpest start, and they were on him early…but righted the ship and was able to turn in his best start of the year so far…..welcome to 2010 Matty…..

K&K
I caught some of the Mets broadcast before the game, and I forgot how bad these guys are…hacks, all the way around…..then back to our broadcast and good old K&K….yeah, the clichés are tired, but they are still good for a horse laugh or two and THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT along with just being natural and having a good time……sometimes we forget how lucky we are…..

JOKER

SAND GNAT

FUCK, you little FUCK……I don't know what the fuck you are still doing in the league let alone how the hell you could muster up enough strength to hit a ball out of Petco…. how have YOU not retired…. no range, no power, no speed, hits .260…. good god, if you are going to play Major League Baseball, do me a favor call up Gagne and see if you can line up some HGH will ya? I am sure with your physical deformity you can get a prescription….. FUCKING JOKER…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
GAGNE
Speaking of which, everyones favorite goggled French Canadian jackass has called it quits……and the headlines read….. STAR DRUG USER RETIRES ……good god, you musta been REALLY good at using drugs…..and yes, I DO believe Bonds took drugs and benefited from them…..but Bonds was a bonified MVP pre juice…..Gagne? He was a pitcher that washed out of the rotation…twice……

AFFELDT
Dude..…..Dude……Dude……

FANTASY BASEBALL
I had Richard and Gregerson on my NL Roto team…. and Blanks and Cabrera…. if I had Eckstein I would look for a bridge right about now…..



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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin