GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-19

Ahh the Padres… what to do with these little fuckers…. not worthy of the full blown hate of the Dodgers….. no, the Padres hardly qualify for strong dislike…. No the Padres are more like that mildly retarded kid in the school yard…. you know the one that smells like sour milk and tucks in his t shirt? Yeah, he wants to be your friend, but honestly he is just kinda annoying more than anything….. you don’t' want to be mean to the kid, but you don't want anything to do with him either….Go away kid, go make friends with the cafeteria lady or something…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-19


GAMEBALL

URIBE

This guy is a piece of work, and it seems like timing is everything….two times in two nights Uribe has come up with a big late homer and both times the Giants could not cash in….I know what the career stats say, I know how old he is……but I just keep my eyes closed and clicking my ruby red slippers saying…."hitters can learn patience in their 30's, hitters can learn patience in their 30's" I mean how is this possible? A Pre Giants slash line of .253/ .295/ .423 turns into .293/ .334/ .492… Age is against him, BABIP says he is lucky….but if loving Juan is wrong, I don't wanna be right……and he certainly deserves that GAMEBALL….

TIP OF THE CAP :
AUBREY HUFFNSTUFF
As he gets more and more entrenched in our psyche, my head keeps going HERE Just hope Timmy lays off that magic flute on game day….

RENT
Nice double and take of 3rd on the bobble to set up the Giants 1st run….and sweet sneak attack bunt in extras……

CAIN
Not the sharpest start, and they were on him early…but righted the ship and was able to turn in his best start of the year so far…..welcome to 2010 Matty…..

K&K
I caught some of the Mets broadcast before the game, and I forgot how bad these guys are…hacks, all the way around…..then back to our broadcast and good old K&K….yeah, the clichés are tired, but they are still good for a horse laugh or two and THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT along with just being natural and having a good time……sometimes we forget how lucky we are…..

JOKER

SAND GNAT

FUCK, you little FUCK……I don't know what the fuck you are still doing in the league let alone how the hell you could muster up enough strength to hit a ball out of Petco…. how have YOU not retired…. no range, no power, no speed, hits .260…. good god, if you are going to play Major League Baseball, do me a favor call up Gagne and see if you can line up some HGH will ya? I am sure with your physical deformity you can get a prescription….. FUCKING JOKER…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
GAGNE
Speaking of which, everyones favorite goggled French Canadian jackass has called it quits……and the headlines read….. STAR DRUG USER RETIRES ……good god, you musta been REALLY good at using drugs…..and yes, I DO believe Bonds took drugs and benefited from them…..but Bonds was a bonified MVP pre juice…..Gagne? He was a pitcher that washed out of the rotation…twice……

AFFELDT
Dude..…..Dude……Dude……

FANTASY BASEBALL
I had Richard and Gregerson on my NL Roto team…. and Blanks and Cabrera…. if I had Eckstein I would look for a bridge right about now…..



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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin