Giants Starters and Catchers 2010 GAMER or HEADCASE

Enough of this optimistic happy feeling…..goddamnit, we want real baseball already……I want to complain about REAL games…… but alas, all we have is preseason…….well, that and GAMER or HEADCASE……

TIM LINCECUM
Man, they grow up so quick…..and from the rumbling about lost velocity over the offseason you would think Timmy was pushing 36 instead of 26…but all that being said, I am concerned about Timmy's arm, not so much because of lost velocity, but because he is so damn good and so much of the Giants fortunes ride on Timmy tiny little back…..Timmy will lose velocity as he ages, like every non-chemically altered pitcher in the world…..but Tim is a smart competitive kid who knows how to pitch….he can lose a few ticks on the heater and still get outs…..so quit worrying. and enjoy the ride……
VERDICT: GAMER

MATT CAIN
Everything is golden in Cainland, fresh new contract, best season of his career, his wife still has that new wife smell…Velocity isn't an issue here….what could the internets be talking about that could make you worry? BABIP? K's/ 9? Strand rate? xFIP? AARP? Come on people, walks are down, ground balls are up, he's a hard throwing, big strong kid, so relax already, he will be fine….and like Lincecum he is a smart kid, and perhaps even more competitive….This kid seems like an old school pitcher… you know the kind that truly hates the opposition?.....tell you what, look at all the peripherals you want…..I tell you right now that last year's all star game won't be his last…..
VERDICT: GAMER

BARRY ZITO
You could almost for feel sorry for this guy….if he wasn't such a self important ass….2009 was a watershed year for Zito as he transformed himself from and pompous overpaid unproductive ass into a pompous overpaid mostly unproductive ass…. But seriously, Velocity was up, K's were up, BB were down….basically about a league average pitcher, but he was up and down big time with 8 Bill James game scores under 40, and 12 games with game scores 60 and above……we are already getting screwed over on the contract, if Zito can just hold onto last year for a few more years he can be an asset…..but don't expect me to like him….
VERDICT: HEADCASE

JONATHAN SANCHEZ
NASTY NASTY NASTY…..Dude, this kid is just scratching the surface…..the best raw stuff on the staff…. but still raw…..time will tell if he turns into the disappointing Oliver Perez or the moderately successful Sid Fernandez or into something approaching the future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson … If he does put it together this year, it would be one of the few areas of potential improvement in a pitching staff that is already so good…..and when and if he does put it together, then and only then can you talk about this Giants rotation in the same breath as those Maddux Glavine Smoltz rotations of the early 90's Braves….until then the VERDICT: HEADCASE

MADISON BUMGARNER
Yeah, not in the rotation…. but did you really want to read about Todd Wellermeyer???? Madison's promise is clouded by a mysteriously disappearing K's Rate and a big time drop in velocity…..still young enough that this isn't a death warrant, and sure he can be successful with that deceptive delivery…..but with lower velocity, you have a lower ceiling and worse yet……when you have an arm this young and a drop this dramatic…. you just wait for the other shoe to drop…..
VERDICT: TINSTAAPP

TODD WELLEMEYER
I put off Wellemeyer as long as I could... Well, don't really know the guy that well…. but I hear that he blamed 2009 on lost velocity…. after working in the mid 90's in 2008, he dropped to the low 90's a self professed "5 mph drop"…..why the drop? Well he missed some time late in the year with Elbow tenderness, so who knows….Sounds like this guy is a Poor man's Brad Penny….. hard thrower who don't strike people out and has history of arm trouble…..all in all, cross your fingers and watch the speed gun
VERDICT: HEADCASE

BENGIE MOLINA
I think I actually like Molina… I mean his is what he is…..much like Pedro Feliz, he was miscast as the main cog of the offense, which made his shortcomings or speed and not walking get pushed to the forefront… on a better team, he would just play solid D, hit an occasional tater out of the 8 hole…..for all the shit he has taken as a Giant, I would say that he has actually met as much as we could have asked for considering his track record before San Francisco…….now if he could just zip it with the Victim routine, he might get a few more sympathizers…..hard to feel sorry for someone with over $30 Million in career earnings
VERDICT: HEADCASE

ELI WHITESIDE
Just change your name to Whitehead already….make it easier for the kids to remember your name
VERDICT: DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE?

BUSTER POSEY
Yeah, not on the club….but you wanted to hear something good, didn't you? Buster is the fucking MAN…. this kid can hit will have some power and promises to get the 2nd home grown GOOD hitter in the lineup…. and with Sabean talking about his "Window of Opportunity" with this pitching staff under contract, you know that Buster's time is this year….. don't matter where he plays, he will be good anywhere…..probably can even play a decent Center or Short..
VERDICT: GAMER


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)