GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-30

Gotta love Giants fans…. on the day the Giants were shellacked by the hated Doggies for the sweep, sprits are high…..because of the "misfortune" of one of our own….sure I could bag on Bengie…and have bagged on Bengie……but that time has past……now is time to reflect on the good Bengie brought and wish him luck in Texas where he will hopefully "be appreciated" (ok, a little sarcasm, couldn't help it)

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-30

GAMEBALL

BIG MONEY

Back in 2006 Matheny went down, and the Giants were left with Eliezer Alfonzo as the starting catcher…..and when Matheny retired that offseason, the Giants were left with few in house options and the proceeded to scrap the bottom of the free agent barrel……and the bottom of that barrel was Bengie Molina….Now Bengie was fresh off a disappointing free agent experience a year earlier where he was left unwanted until February when he signed a 1 year contract with the Blue Jays….after hitting a career high 19 homers in Toronto, there was little demand for his services…..so here we are……the Giants in need of a catcher and Bengie desperate for work……so in swooped Brian Sabean with a 3 year deal for $16 million….of course Brian made sure this contract market value…..and by market value, I mean what Molina thought he was worth, not what was being offered…….but even though we probably gave him more than was needed……he was still worth the money…..hitting for surprising power and nurturing a young pitching staff…..and these were shitty teams Molina had to play for……losing 90 games two years back to back while crouching for 130+ games ain't no fun and is less fun when you are losing……and with the aging offense crumbling around him…..Bengie became miscast as a center piece of the offense for the first time in his career…..add that new role to his already large pride and the 24/7 media and the age of sabermetric and the internet……well…..as time went on Molina lost favor with the fans …..add the fortuitous opportunity to draft Posey…..well….that took things to a whole new level……after some dumbass comment from Sabean, whiny Bengie was born…..the aging catcher with limited offensive skills and slowing defense had an exaggerated sense of self worth and wore his heart on his sleeve……Hey, he's honest and I can't blame him for that…..but he was his own worst enemy….Its hard for the average fan making less than $50K, and forking out $100 just to go to a game to feel sorry for someone playing a boys game for a living, and with career earnings in excess of $30 million……how the hell can you feel sorry for THAT……in a different day and age, none of this would be an issue......but forget all that bullshit for a minute and remember what he DID do…..he had some big hits……he took the reigns of an offense that had nothing, and did his best…..he trudged through some dark days and helped develop what we have now…..and for that he has been handsomely paid and hopefully well remembered……


TIP OF THE CAP :
CASILLA
For buzzing Padilla

ROWAND
Got 3 hits and a revenge dinger in a lost cause

SABEAN
For getting something of actual value for Molina……so I hear there might be a GM dumber than you……probably just a rumor

JOKER

SANCHEZ

Man, when did our whole starting staff forget how to pitch…..the last turn the best effort came from Zito and Bumgarner…..whereas Cain, Tim, and JSanchez….the 3 most talented guys on the staff…..aren't getting it done……and that’s reason 1 the Giants are riding a 5 game losing streak…..


SMACK OF THE STICK :
CASILLA
For buzzing Padilla and NOT hitting his fucking stupid ass in the fucking noggin

MOLINA
OK, one more thing……my theory……Molina has been sulking and this has poisoned the clubhouse and his performance on the field has been contagious….now that he is gone, the dynamic will change drastically…I really see two things that could change the clubhouse….…1st Pablo gravitated to Molina because of the mutual defensive position and common language….now Pablo will likely look more towards Uribe as a big brother figure,…Uribe is the opposite of Molina…..fun loving and all about team…..this can't be a bad change…..the 2nd change is Molina and Rowand are the resident red ass serious players…..with Molina gone and Rowand mostly out of the lineup, players like Huff, Uribe, and Burrell are going to have more influence on the rest of the team…..this includes players like Posey and Torress and some of the younger pitchers….These guys are looser and more fun loving…..and all about getting a team W……again, I think this is for the best…….so lets hope this is a turning point for a Giants team that hasn't looked good since they swept the A's over 2 weeks ago….plenty of time left to turn it around….but you cant dig that hole too deep……


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-20

Happy 420 everyone (especially you Timmy)…too bad the offense looked like they were more interested in microwave burrito's and Flamin' Hot Cheetos than hitting the damn balll…. Sorry, I don't get involved in this stuff….420 was invented or at least came to my attention about the same time that I stopped "participating"…… and by the way, I have personally seen the Physician's Desk Reference (PDR) Herbal Medicines, one of the authorities tomes on medicine… and the first line of the Cannabis entry reads…..There are 420 psychoactive compounds in Cannabis (paraphrased)…….

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-20


GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

#4 starter? Hell the way things are going, Sanchez isn't just a #3 on this staff, he is looking like a #2 only behind the 2 time Cy Young Stoner himself…WOW…....I mean look at these stats…tonight 1 hit 10k's this year.12.6 K's/ 9 IP,. 0.98 WHIP, 0.164 BAA, Still walking too many, but when you got a K/BB ratio 3.38 its hard to find fault….Not enough for the win however….heck was even tagged with the loss, but you can't fault the effort……Good job on the GAMEBALL Jon and keep it rolling, the Giants will score a run from you….someday……

TIP OF THE CAP :
SCHIERHOLTZ
On a day of near nil offense, Nate set up the game tying run in the 8th with a leadoff triple…..too bad no one wanted to cooperate with you…..

HUFF
Single to move Torres to 3rd with 1 down in the 9th, sweet play on foul ball giving up the body….who is this guy, and who is the shitty ass player I was reading about this offseason….obviously they weren't talking about HUFFER…..see, he's even got a nickname…..

PANDA
Did his part with 2 hits and a 9th inning walk…..

ROMO
Bounce back from Sunday with a clean frame

SHARKS
The Sharks managed to score and take home a squeaker …

JOKER

3xFU's

WHITESIDE!?!?! DAMMIT!!!
MOLINA!?!? FUCK!?!?!!
URIBE!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
WELL FUCK, the only thing more frustrating than watching a pitching performance like that go to waste, is when you actually get 3 shots to get the tying run in from 3rd in the final 2 innings of the game and fuck it up all three times…..I mean come on….what are the odds……the odds are fucking ridiculous….I mean, let me break this down for the mathematically inclined….I went to Tom Tango's site and looked up the 27 base out states and the chance of scoring a run from 3rd when giving three chances is actually 100%*.....of course then you read the fine print….."*These are purely statistical models and do not apply when talking about pitiful offenses like the San Francisco Giants"….man that Tom Tango is one smart mother fucker…..and we got a trio of JOKERS….



SMACK OF THE STICK :
VELEZ/ BOWKER
Ever hear of picking up your teammates???? Well, Bowker and Velez found Molina Urbie and Whiteside a little too heavy to lift

RENTERIA
2 GIDP…..better watch your ass when Freddy Sanchez comes back….at least until Sanchez hurts himself again……


HUFF
Honestly, you can't reasonably fault him for catching the ball that allowed the tag up and eventual only Padres run……but you know what, I am not held to the laws of reason and if Huff doesn't make that GAMER play, and the way Sanchez was pitching??? Very likely that run never comes around to score…..but who knows……and JT Snow would taken out at least 1 camera man and gotten 6 phone numbers….all you get is welt on your back and a smack of the stick


PS Yes, I know its not really 100%...its a joke....calm down, really its more like 85-90%, probability is not additive...

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PIRATES at GIANTS 04-12

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PIRATES at GIANTS 04-12

GAMEBALL

MOLINA

Much maligned Molina mashes minor leaguers and mediocre middle relievers….Alliteration isn't funny or amusing, really its just makes me feel clever, and it IS all about me…..but enough about me…..Molina kept Posey's Super Two status at bay with a 4 for 4 night including a 2 run shot, 4 RBI and most notably his first walk of the year…..pretty damn good night for the slowest player in the game…..Good job on the GAMEBALL….just don't run too fast….all that jiggling makes me think of my fat ass neighbor washing his boat without a shirt on….there really should be a law……

TIP OF THE CAP :
HUFF
I am liking this guy more and more… back to back HBP's couple hits including a shot into triples alley followed by a comical showcase of "HIS GUNS" to the camera…..this guys ain't exactly a powerhouse of a 1st baseman, I have to use a adjective that usually applies to the more diminutive players in the game….yup Huff is 6'4" cleanup hitter that I will call SCRAPPY….

SANDOVAL
Bat has come alive, with 3 more hits tonight and of course a walk….

BULLPEN
3 Innings, 2 baserunners….4 K's with 3 belonging to Romo

ZITO
Wasn't sharp…..but hey….as long as he doesn't fully suck….what more can we reasonably expect……

JOKER

ROTOWORLD

Most of you are familiar with Rotoworld….a agglomeration of baseball news with a decidedly anti-Sabean and perhaps anti-Giants spin…..timely and insightful…for the most part …and then I read this…..
"…..Lewis, 29, would obviously draw quite a bit of interest due to his plate discipline and value on defense……"link
BWHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH…Rotoworld, you got to be kidding me right??? Yeah yeah, I've seen the stats and heard the arguments…. I don't buy that other clubs are sitting here thinking….wow, look at that UZR Range Factor all that jazz……if you are taking bad routes and have bad hands I don't care how much ground you can cover…..baseball is still played on a field by people and a muffed play or dropped ball is not the same as a clean hit in the mind of pitcher or your teammates and of course your own head… and I think we all saw Freddie get inside his own head big time last year….. maybe you can say his speed offsets his defensive shortcomings, but actually having "defensive value" implying above average defense??? Did you see what we saw?
Worst Instincts + Worst Hands on the team according to Tom Tango Fan's Scouting Report

And Rotoworld, since you weren't watching, it looked something like this…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
SCHIERHOLTZ
Looks like you are getting pigeon holed my friend….Defensive Specialist and Pitch Hitter…..and since you are good at both, the better you do the more likely you are staying in that role…..catch 22….

BURRES
Ouch, emergency callup faces his old team with something to prove…too bad all you proved is you don't belong in the Majors……well, at least the prorated salary is a pretty nice bonus…..


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

Giants Starters and Catchers 2010 GAMER or HEADCASE

Enough of this optimistic happy feeling…..goddamnit, we want real baseball already……I want to complain about REAL games…… but alas, all we have is preseason…….well, that and GAMER or HEADCASE……

TIM LINCECUM
Man, they grow up so quick…..and from the rumbling about lost velocity over the offseason you would think Timmy was pushing 36 instead of 26…but all that being said, I am concerned about Timmy's arm, not so much because of lost velocity, but because he is so damn good and so much of the Giants fortunes ride on Timmy tiny little back…..Timmy will lose velocity as he ages, like every non-chemically altered pitcher in the world…..but Tim is a smart competitive kid who knows how to pitch….he can lose a few ticks on the heater and still get outs…..so quit worrying. and enjoy the ride……
VERDICT: GAMER

MATT CAIN
Everything is golden in Cainland, fresh new contract, best season of his career, his wife still has that new wife smell…Velocity isn't an issue here….what could the internets be talking about that could make you worry? BABIP? K's/ 9? Strand rate? xFIP? AARP? Come on people, walks are down, ground balls are up, he's a hard throwing, big strong kid, so relax already, he will be fine….and like Lincecum he is a smart kid, and perhaps even more competitive….This kid seems like an old school pitcher… you know the kind that truly hates the opposition?.....tell you what, look at all the peripherals you want…..I tell you right now that last year's all star game won't be his last…..
VERDICT: GAMER

BARRY ZITO
You could almost for feel sorry for this guy….if he wasn't such a self important ass….2009 was a watershed year for Zito as he transformed himself from and pompous overpaid unproductive ass into a pompous overpaid mostly unproductive ass…. But seriously, Velocity was up, K's were up, BB were down….basically about a league average pitcher, but he was up and down big time with 8 Bill James game scores under 40, and 12 games with game scores 60 and above……we are already getting screwed over on the contract, if Zito can just hold onto last year for a few more years he can be an asset…..but don't expect me to like him….
VERDICT: HEADCASE

JONATHAN SANCHEZ
NASTY NASTY NASTY…..Dude, this kid is just scratching the surface…..the best raw stuff on the staff…. but still raw…..time will tell if he turns into the disappointing Oliver Perez or the moderately successful Sid Fernandez or into something approaching the future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson … If he does put it together this year, it would be one of the few areas of potential improvement in a pitching staff that is already so good…..and when and if he does put it together, then and only then can you talk about this Giants rotation in the same breath as those Maddux Glavine Smoltz rotations of the early 90's Braves….until then the VERDICT: HEADCASE

MADISON BUMGARNER
Yeah, not in the rotation…. but did you really want to read about Todd Wellermeyer???? Madison's promise is clouded by a mysteriously disappearing K's Rate and a big time drop in velocity…..still young enough that this isn't a death warrant, and sure he can be successful with that deceptive delivery…..but with lower velocity, you have a lower ceiling and worse yet……when you have an arm this young and a drop this dramatic…. you just wait for the other shoe to drop…..
VERDICT: TINSTAAPP

TODD WELLEMEYER
I put off Wellemeyer as long as I could... Well, don't really know the guy that well…. but I hear that he blamed 2009 on lost velocity…. after working in the mid 90's in 2008, he dropped to the low 90's a self professed "5 mph drop"…..why the drop? Well he missed some time late in the year with Elbow tenderness, so who knows….Sounds like this guy is a Poor man's Brad Penny….. hard thrower who don't strike people out and has history of arm trouble…..all in all, cross your fingers and watch the speed gun
VERDICT: HEADCASE

BENGIE MOLINA
I think I actually like Molina… I mean his is what he is…..much like Pedro Feliz, he was miscast as the main cog of the offense, which made his shortcomings or speed and not walking get pushed to the forefront… on a better team, he would just play solid D, hit an occasional tater out of the 8 hole…..for all the shit he has taken as a Giant, I would say that he has actually met as much as we could have asked for considering his track record before San Francisco…….now if he could just zip it with the Victim routine, he might get a few more sympathizers…..hard to feel sorry for someone with over $30 Million in career earnings
VERDICT: HEADCASE

ELI WHITESIDE
Just change your name to Whitehead already….make it easier for the kids to remember your name
VERDICT: DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE?

BUSTER POSEY
Yeah, not on the club….but you wanted to hear something good, didn't you? Buster is the fucking MAN…. this kid can hit will have some power and promises to get the 2nd home grown GOOD hitter in the lineup…. and with Sabean talking about his "Window of Opportunity" with this pitching staff under contract, you know that Buster's time is this year….. don't matter where he plays, he will be good anywhere…..probably can even play a decent Center or Short..
VERDICT: GAMER


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PADRES at GIANTS 09/08

Since the home sweep of the Rockies, the Giants haven't exactly lit the world on fire… just holding their own on the road before coming home and splitting the first 2 with the Pads….. …..unfortunately, after the Rockies got swept in SF and sent to a season high 5 game losing streak, THEY went back home and put together a "Giantsesque" run of 7-1 with 2 still to play…..this has pushed the Giants back from a tie for the wild card to a 3 game deficit, MAGNIFYING the NEED for a DOMINANT home stand of our own…. well the Giants got off on the right foot with a win in the 1st game versus the Padres, but with the news of Tim being skipped and now the 1 run loss, and despite Bumgarner valiant stand in performance……. things don't look as cheery as they did just 24 hours ago… but its really far from over, as those Head to Head matchups still LOOM LARGE and anything is possible……but time is short and they need to get hot QUICK…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PADRES at GIANTS 09/08

GAMEBALL

BUM

Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you Madison Bumgarner…..and "He's no Tim Lincecum"…..I have been repeating this phrase to anyone that asks me about Madison….as Giants fans we have been a bit spoiled with the success of Tim, Matt and even to a lesser extent Jonathan Sanchez Sergio Romo and Brian Wilson…..The Giants have been fortunate to have such bounty of pitching come from the minors in the last few years….Add this track record if success with the sky high scouting reports, and you would expect that this kid would be the second coming of Lincecum…..but this kid is no Lincecum, in fact he is the Anti-Lincecum….. Throws Left, Bats Right, Stands tall, and doesn’t' throw as hard as you would expect from his frame….. short strider, cross over step….not a bit of drop and drive in him…..he is a pitch to contact guy, coming from a low 3/4ers angle….with a curve with a ton of lateral movement, compared to Timmy's 12-6 oclock bender….He did a solid job in his much anticipated Major League Debut…showing poise and the ability to throw strikes despite bouts of wildness…..time will tell what kind of pitcher he is, but so far so good…..if he can tighten up and get some horizontal movement on the Curve, there is not reason he can't have a long career......Personally, I think he could use at least another year on the farm getting his offspeed stuff worked out…..and I debate whether or not he should try to get rid of that crossover and get some more stride in his delivery…..I think he might gain some velocity and maybe have longer term arm health….but then again, he would loose some deception…..The Giants probably figured they would just leave well enough alone…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
1 hit ….2 walks……that’s 26 pitches in 5 PA……and I still say he was safe…..

SANDOVAL
Couple hits, and didn't miss any scooped throws….of course he didn't HAVE to scoop any throws…..

ROWAND
2 Hits 2 runs including a Homer to straight away center…..

JOKER

MOLINA

Was a bit torn on this one….the bonehead play of the game belonged to Rowand, but a homer a single and 2 runs scored saves him from the outright Joker……Molina had positives as well…..handling Bum, and an early RBI Single….but in late innings with the game on the line, Bengie was anything but clutch…..on a curveball that literally would have bounced in front of the plate he lunged out and Popped up with a man on 1st and 1 out in the 5th…And then on a belt high curve down the pipe, he popped up to end the 7th with 2 men on….but the clincher was the play at the plate in the 8th to give the Padres the lead…..Nate made a decent throw about 5 feet up the line and about 6 inches off the ground, but in PLENTY of time to get a lumbering Gonzales…..Bengie turned and tagged before the ball was in the mitt……sure it wasn’t a good throw, and it wasn't an easy play to make, but at that point in the game Bengie needed to clutch up and make a play……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
WINN
0 for 3 with 2 K's…..congrats on the Baby….Family is more important than baseball, you should really go spend some time with them… 4-5 weeks should do it…..

URIBE
Tough Play(s)…the one hopper to lead off the 8th was a SEED, but a makeable play …the second shit past you to your left, I am not so sure about…..but I bet Pablo makes the first play at leat

PUCETAS
Bumgarner eh??? …..well I guess someone has to pitch for the Grizzlies in the playoffs….no? Seasons over? Your on Full Rest???....well maybe it has something to do with giving up at least 5 runs in 5 of your last 7 starts…..including 16 runs in your last 2 2/3…..not exactly the way to get a September callup….

ROWAND
Hacking at the 3rd strike pass ball…..PAY ATTENTION, YOU RUN……Don't wait for the appeal you dummy!!!....you WANT them to call it a swing……you run to first and if the umpire calls it "no swing"….you get to argue with the umpire "I DID TOO STRIKE OUT!!!"

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at MILWAUKEE 09/04

Happy Memorial Day Weekend… what….Labor Day??? Kids are back in school and the Giants are only 1 game back after a squeaking out a win in Milwaukee???....and Milwaukee of all places, where just over 2 months ago we watched Cain and Wilson get smacked around the park pretty badly only to salvage the last game with a now DFA'ed Ryan Sadowski debut……man I got to tell you that this Brewers Lineup is scary….sure the Phillies knock the cover off the ball, but Fielder and Braun are both complete hitters….perhaps the most fearsome duo of players in the National League…well, I mean besides Lincecum and Cain……

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at MILWAUKEE 09/04

GAMEBALL

BENGIE

Tell you what, he may not hit a bunch but he seems to pick some opportune times to come up with a big hit…..he is about 1 week removed from his Gibsonesque hobble around the bases and that’s his 2nd late game go ahead homer in his last 11 at bats…..Bengie had the proverbial fire lite under his ass by the expedited callup of Posey…..and I want to see Posey play as much as anyone, but we need to temper expectations…..of all the active catchers in the Majors right now, Posey is by far the most inexperienced with 115 minor league games….the only other catcher with less than 200 minor league games before their callup is the other super prospect Matt Wieters who caught 169 games before his callup….and Posey was only converted to catcher his last year of college….Wieters was a catcher since High School, and then all 3 years in College…….so the bottom line, Posey's bat may be ready and he still may play a pivotal role in the playoff chase, but we are going to need Molina ……lets just hope he doesn't have to hit cleanup every night

TIP OF THE CAP :
BOCHY
Unorthodox, and risky…..but Bochy was able to get 3 2/3rds from the back end of the bullpen and keep the Giants in this….wasnt pretty and I am not really sure HOW it happened, but Medders, Miller, Runzler, and Howry actually kept the Brewers off the board…..

RUNZLER
Welcome to the show……hard 3/4ers fastball had Gerut looking foolish….. and no, don't expect 3 pitch strikeouts every time out kid

THE BACK OF THE BULLPEN
Say what you will, but 0 runs is 0 runs…..

ROWAND
Hard hit ball the other way plated the tying run…ok, he is only 97% suck…..

JOKER

CAMERON

I Love Defense!!..... my favorite part of the game….a great play of defense is the most exciting play in the game….and when I think of great defensive center fielders I have seen in my life, only a few names come to mind….Eric Davis is the first….Devon White is the second…..and Mike Cameron is the 3rd……and when it all is said and done you could argue that Cameron has had the best career of the 3…..more longevity than Davis…..and a better hitter than White……but none of that mattered tonight as the solid defensive Cameron had a horrible night in the field…misplaying the Giants first hit of the night in the 5th, stutter stepping and letting a ball fall getting caught between a shoe string catch and a dive……and then the big one with two down and two men on, he let the ball clank off his glove for the Giants 1st run and set up the Giants 2nd run to tie……and with the Giants lineup only recent experience with Runs coming after a 2 AM run to Taco Bell, Cameron gave the Giants a much needed assist….


SMACK OF THE STICK :
ISHIKAWA
Ugly night at the dish with 1 hit but 3 strikeouts..including a K to end the Giants rally in the 6th

PIERRE
Guy still has some game, and would be a welcome player in center in place of the Rowand contract…..but turned down the Giants…..we settled for Roberts……he settled for riding the pine……that’s what we call a lose lose deal…….

ROCKIES
LOSE DAMN YOU WHY WON'T YOU LOSE

FINAL THOUGHTS
The Giants already have 2 wins on the road trip that looked like it could be a 6 game nightmare….with Cain and Sanchez slated to go in the next two, the Giants might just end this road trip at .500 headed back home for a HUGE homestand versus resurgent Padres team (18-14 since Aug 1st), and the two teams ahead of the Giants in the standings….Rockies and Dodgers……The Rockies will be out for revenge and Fowler is slated to return this week, and Morales has looked pretty damn good so far in place of an injured Street…..the Dodgers, well you remember what they did to us last time in ATT…..but if the Giants can finish up strong on the road and keep rolling at home they have a strong chance at the Wild Card….and if they can beat the Doggies, you might hear a few people whisper about possibly winning the division…….

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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/02

What the hell was THAT…. early September and Giants baseball is alive and well, hell I think they even scored a run or two, but I could be mistaken….on a day buzzing with the news of the callup of Posey the wunderkind, Penny drew the attention back to his acquisition with a stellar debut in Philly, holding the powerful Phils in check for 8 scoreless…….not much to say so lets just jump right into it…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/02

GAMEBALL

PENNY

Big, ugly, and throws hard…..Big? Well, lets say that you could fit Lincecum in one of Penny's pant legs put Eugenio in the other…..and still have room to squeeze Alyssa Milano between them….who I hear is very familiar with the inside of Penny's pants…..Ugly?? Well lets just say that Cain is feeling less self conscious about his neck size….and Velez's facial hair is looking downright stylish in comparison to Penny…..Throws hard??? Averaging 94 MPH and maxing out at 97 MPH Penny is the hardest throwing member of arguably the best starting rotation in the big leagues….and that velocity is a big key to Penny's effectiveness as he leans on the fastball more than any of his rotation mates…
Penny was stellar tonight, mixing in his unimpressive curveball with an occasional slider and changeup..keeping his slow stuff down in the zone where it couldn't be whacked around…..but it was all about the fastball as Phillies hitters seem to struggle to catch up with it no matter how many times they saw it…..Penny was really only in trouble once tonight right after the Giants scored their lone run in the 5th….. Howard singled off a 1st pitch changeup, then Werth worked a walk….Ibanez was up with 2 men on and no outs before he flipped a 3-2 fastball to the track in left…..Penny then got a 1st pitch curveball called strike on Feliz, before he hit an easy grounder to Sandoval…. and then Penny got Ruiz on a 2-2 Slider on the outerhalf that he rolled over for an easy grounder to short……
But perhaps the highlight of Penny's night was his 9 pitch at bat in the 5th…which immediately preceeded Torress 9 pitch RBI Single….combined those two at bats took a chunk out of Happ's stamina and likely contributed to the 3 spot in the very next inning…..Good job you ugly fat fuck, welcome to the Giants…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Came through with the Giants first RBI of the road trip after a long 9 pitch battle with a stressed Happ…..

URIBE
3 hit night, and the BIG fly 15 rows back in the 6th gave the Giants what seemed like a comfortable lead with this pitching staff….and his swing still cracks me up….if you told him it was legal to get a running start ala Happy Gilmore he might just have a 50 homer year….

ROWAND
Wasted no time with a first pitch JACK to go back to back with Uribe….

AFFELDT
Worked the 9th making Victorino, Utley, and Howard look like tee ballers

RUNZLER
Dan uses his power lefthanded fastball to climb all the way from Low A to the Bigs in one whirlwind year….strike out stuff to be sure with 77 K's in 54 innings, not horribly wild but not exactly a control artist with 22 walks, temper your expectations, as those lights are bright in the big leagues, especially when you have logged less than 7 innings above A Ball and that San Jose Stadium that seats only 4,200 ppl……

JOKER

MOLINA

I guess that student at Skyline shot in the ass wasn't the only guy who was butt hurt today (rimshot)…. after being asked if the Giants were sending a message with the Posey callup Molina replied “You know what, probably” (click to read the whole thing if you haven't already) “This might mean I’m not coming back next year. Who knows?" Now I will be the first to say that his hacktastic ways aside, Molina has been a very good Giants and filled a void on the team with his defense, his bat, and nurturing the younger players….but come on bro, don't be like that…. You have be out 8 games in a row and Whiteside ain't exactly lighting it up….. its not like Molina has been running out there everyday hitting the cover off the ball….. and this is a pennant race, and its all hands on deck…..Molina knows the deal, but he better also know that with or without Posey the Giants are going to move on eventually…. and with Posey hitting the cover off the ball and DRAWING WALKS that eventually might come sooner rather than later….so suck it up Bengie, and you might get a taste of postseason once more…..and when you look for that multiyear contract this offseason you might just get it from some guilble GM looking for "veteran leadership"…..


SMACK OF THE STICK :
FREDDY SANCHEZ
With Uribe playing solid defense and hitting the cover off the ball (3rd multi hit game in last 5)….you might not have a spot until you are 110% healthy…..you can forget that vesting option that looked so sure just a month ago…..in fact if Sabes has a brain, he will offer you a 3 year $20 Million dollar deal like you offered the Pirates

WALKER/TASCHNER
Good to see you both still have work….. man that bullpen is in shambles……when your closer, your best pitcher in the pen has an 7 ERA in September, you know things are bleak for your pen…..


FINAL THOUGHTS
So the Giants go into the rubber match in Philly with a very interesting pitching matchup….. Lincecum v Pedro Martinez…. the one pitcher Timmy is most often compared to due to his small stature and devastating changeup no longer has that Mid 90's heat and Bugs Bunny changeup…..these days he is just trying to get by with a high 80's fastball and a high 70's change…..but don't underestimate Pedro's guile, as no matter what he was throwing he brings that competitive fire and knack for pitching……Timmy also has to face a far superior offense than Pedro will face……so lets hope Tim is on top of his game and sends us to Milwaukee on a up note…..


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GIANTS 8/26

No, I can't let go of the Rockies series….. and I think most of the Giants fan base has gone from disbelief and anger, to something bordering depression and apathy…. Now Monday was a dramatic win for the Rockies no doubt, and must have been one hell of a jolt of euphoria for the fans and the team…. so what about us?.... where's our dramatic win? where's our shot of euphoria? our history is littered with games where the Giants are that "other team".. dramatic walk off's, playoff wins, momentous occasions…. Hell even the Jonathan Sanchez no-hitter was upstaged less than two weeks later…but tonight was a little consolation, as Bengie did his best Gibson impression limping around the bases after launching a 0-2 pitch just over the left field wall…… nowhere near as dramativc as Sanchez's not hitter, and sure it wasn't a walk off, and it had a bit of a "too little too late" feel to it, but hell we are starved for anything positive, so we will take it thank you very much…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GIANTS 8/26

GAMEBALL

MOLINA

Contract drive 09 is alive and well, and Molina added "dramatic pinch home run" to his list of credentials….. Molina did the expected after getting in a quick 0-2 hole…. but what followed was unexpected…..a high fly ball that just seemed to carry and carry until it nearly scraped off the back of the outfield wall……this wasn't a "towering shot," and that would imply majesty and power…..this was more like the longest popup you have ever seen…..Probably a ground rule double off the roof in Tampa, or a "do over" off the jumbotron in Cowboys Stadium ….but that doesn't matter….in ATT it’s a game winner……..

TIP OF THE CAP :
SANCHEZ
One of his best starts since the no-hitter with regards to consitency…pounded the zone all night with 9 strikeouts and 2 walks….his best strikeout total since the no-hitter, and the second time issuing 2 walks or less….and his strike % of 64.2% was his best since the no hitter where it was 70%

BOCHY
Pinch hitting Molina, sheer genius…..manager of the year, baby!

MILLER
Actually I had planned to give a sarcastic Gameball to Miller, but Molina bailed him out….now in retrospect, with the pen gassed Millers scoreless inning actually is a big deal…..so tip that cap, and go back to the end of the bullpen where you belong….and tell Howry he still sucks while you are there

MEDDERS
1-2-3….no threat to Wilson's job, but got it done in clean fashion, saving Giants fans everywhere from flashbacks of Monday and Tuesday…..

URIBE
Those 2 solo shots the last 2 nights, didn't seem like much when they happened, but both shots foreshadowed the heroics to come…..so Dale Long holds the National League record for consecutive games with a HR at 8….only 6 more to go…

JOKER

WHITESIDE

Well unlike Uribe's 2 game streak, Whiteside has his own little streak going…..two games in a row with an error…but tonight he added a dumb shit flubs not scored as error when he swipe-tagged without a ball….….…gone is the glee of his big night in Houston, and he is actually making us miss Steve Holm…..…..and when Sabean signs Molina to that 3 year deal, he should buy Whiteside a Buick or something….
(and if I just give him the joker again, I don't even have to change the pic)

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROHLINGER
I am looking at that box score, and I see his name, but I swear I didn't see him in there…..apparently he got 3 at bats, but I never even noticed them….and since I never miss anything, I have to assume that NBC cut away for commercial he Rohinger was hitting……errr, not hitting….. at the plate pretending to hit…….

BOCHY
For playing Winn over Nate and Freddie……Nate has proven he can hit lefties and Lewis is something like 4 for 9 versus Doug Davis (that’s what Krukow might call "Ownage")

WINN
For having a noodle arm, for being in there because of the leftie and not being able to hit a leftie SO OBVIOUSLY that he resorted to popping up foul bunts


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at METS 8/15

Yeeee ouch….. man, fucked up day to have a skull and be a baseball player…… David Wright took a Cain fastball off the side of his head, and it wasn't a pretty sight. Looks like preliminary reports show the damage was limited to a concussion, but lets hope for the best. And as for the Mets fans booing, you really got to give them a pass. Intentional or not, Cain was the villain today in Citi Field and Giants fans would do no less in a similar situation. They back up their players like they should, and Santana did no less….although the beaning of Molina was a bit excessive Santana kept the ball about ribcage level and no where near anyone's head…….I ain't gonna get upset about that……
And then during the Dodger D-Backs game pinch hitter Rusty Ryal hit a line shot up the middle off the right temple of Hiroki Kuroda knocking him out of the game. A gruesome sight reminiscent of the Joe Martinez incident, and despite the fact that Hiroki is a evil fucking Dodger lets hope he is OK.

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at METS 8/15

GAMEBALL

MOLINA

The Much Maligned Molina was back at it today, hacking and hacking and hacking…..and for some reason getting pitches to hit…..to the tune of a 3 hit day…Molina had a big double in the 6th to get the Giants on the board and tie the score at 1 a piece…...but the big hit came in extras on the road….leading off the 10th the Mets catcher Schnieder set up outside but K-Rod threw a belt high fastball right down the pipe that Molina had a mighty swing and miss that had me yelling in exasperation at the big screen in the sports bar…..but the good news is that K-Rod made almost the exact same mistake on the 2nd pitch…..and Molina planted that sucker into the Left Field Bleachers for the go ahead run…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
SANDOVAL
The Key to the Giants offense….if he is hitting we have a shot and he was hitting today……after the Wright beaning, Santana through behind Sandoval and missed…..and instead of charging the mound, Sandoval got his revenge on the field with a shot into the seats….to make it a 3 run lead that turned out to be critical…..

SCHIERHOLTZ
Can we move this guy up the order already??? Seems like he is always on base and always stranded…….

GARKO
His much talked about choke up with 2 strikes paid off today as he battled Santana for 8 pitches with 0 out in the 6th…..coming through with a big single for the lead run…..Santana used up 26 pitches in the inning and was knocked from the game the next inning…..


JOKER

BROXTON

Gagne was a fucking monster, fueled by drugs….but still just someone you didn't want to face……Saito was a machine, wicked stuff, good control damn good closer…..so I got to tell you when setup man Broxton was tagged as the new closer I wasn't impressed……but Broxton stepped up to the plate and mixed his pitches and pounded the strike zone on his way to a sizzling start…..but then this big 240 pound sack of blubber and gristle hurt his toe……no biggie right, just a little cortisone shot and all is well……well kids something is wrong……since that cortisone shot Broxton is sporting an ERA of 6.40 as opposed to an ERA of 1.36 prior to the shot……if things keep sliding for Broxton it will be a big blow to an already thinning Dodgers pitching staff…..and more importantly…if Broxton keeps going when something is clearly wrong, he could blow something out fairly quickly……of course I would never wish for ill health to another human, I wouldn't be surprised if the combination of Broxton's stubborn pride and Torre's inclination to work a pen ends up in disaster……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROCKIES
I wrote these guys off when Francis went down and they sunk to the bottom of the NL…..but these guys have been streaking for months and just aren't slowing down…..pitching staff is clicking…..defense is solid……and of course the can smack the shit out of the ball….wouldn't surprise me at all if the take the NL West and the Dodgers end up battling for the Wild Card……and this Rockies team is BETTER than the Rockies team that went to the World Series two years ago…..

ROWAND
Ice cold again……the streakiest fucking player I can remember…..either he's hitting everything….. or looking like

JOHN KRUK
I read in Baggs Blog that Kruk was yapping about Sandoval taking umbrage with being beaned on Wednesday……
Well Kruk, shut the fuck up and have another bologna sandwich you ignorant fuck

O'NORA
What the hell……both side get warned…..and then THE NEXT HITTER GETS HIT…..and no one is ejected?? What, was that warning against the Giants only??? Are you sure you aren't part of Darling's crew?? And by the way, how can you call balls and strikes with the fat folds in your eye lids blocking your sight….


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)