GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RANGERS at GIANTS 10/28 WORLD SERIES GAME 2

Holy Fuck…..what a night…… traded in my infield season seats for 3 front row bleachers…..was able to bring my girl and my Dad to the game…..and what a fucking game……last time my Dad and I were in the World Series…..well, first I cried tears of joy that I could share a World Series with my Dad….a real life Field of Dreams moment for me…..well, that sweet day in 2002 turned bitter sweet with the result of the game…..it was Game 3 and the Angels handed us our heads on a platter…….
Fast forward to tonight's crushing of the Rangers …..man….this fucking game reversed any scars I had from that Game 3…..hell my Dad was there tonight AND there for the walk off win in Game 4 of the NLCS and I got to tell you…..he has had one hell of a postseason……

So here I am, voice completely spent to the point that I can't even talk…..up 2-0 with our work still cut out for us as we travel to Texas…..and I tell you what, even though I have tickets for Game 6 and 7……I really fucking hope they close the deal on the road…..sure I would LOVE to celebrate on the field…..but I ain't taking any fucking chances……too many years that ended in misery…..when you are this close to promise land, you don't take the scenic route….you hop on the fucking expressway and you put the pedal to the floor……it takes 4 wins to take home the trophy…..we got 2…..now lets concentrate on getting that 3rd win before we even think of a 4th…….

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RANGERS at GIANTS 10/28 WORLD SERIES GAME 2

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Now Statsheads and sabermetrics is all good with me…..but it is also a dangerous thing when people don't understand what they are talking about…..Stats are NOT the game, Stats DESCRIBE the game…..and Stats in the wrong hands make idiots sound intelligent……I bring this up because if you have been following the Giants closely the last few years, you have likely heard how Cain wasn't GOOD, he was just LUCKY……and lucky…..and lucky……and man, looks like Cain has been lucky for another year and right into the postseason.;……you know what, take your theories and suck my left nut sack……cause I know what I see, and this guy is a FUCKING STUD……now I may use the F Bomb more than most, but I cannot emphasis this point enough….CAIN IS A MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN FUCKING STUD…..there, I think that did it….move along…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
RENTERIA
Holy shit….I thought Edgar was supposed to be old and broken down…..well someone poured some Rocket Fuel into that old engine, cause Edgar has been solid on the D and CRUSHED a high fastball 10 rows deep for the first run of the game….chip in a single to break the game open in the 8th and he got some serious consideration for the Gameball……who knew….of the 16 starting position players, Edgar's 3 homers were less than EVERY SINGLE PLAYER IN EITHER LINEUP…..Hell, even Matt Mr Misty May Treanor had 7 Homers…….

ROSS
Nice play to 1) make Young think twice about being doubled off 2) keep Hamilton's ball in front of him……and battled a 10 pitch walk in the 7th and scored the BIG 2nd run of the game……and of course played his part in the 8th inning merry go round…..

NATE
Nice backhand stab in Triples Alley in the 7th….

URIBE
BIG RBI to plate the second run of the night and solid D on the left side once again…..

LOPEZ
Nursing a 2 run lead in the 8th, got Hamilton with a runner on 2nd and 2 down seemingly handing Wilson a 2 run lead to protect in the 9th……

JOKER

WASHINGTON

Man, I got to say that I was really confused by Washington's bullpen usage….Oliver was his guy to face Huff…..and then Uribe and Renteria???..... Well I'll take that matchup any day of the week…and it paid off for the Giants…..honestly I expected O'Day to get the call…...he has been your go to right handed setup guy, I think you HAVE to go back to him and maybe he doesn't hang a slider this time….But the real move….or lack of move was watching Holland be left out there to die….. now follow me if you will……starting from the time his first pitch missed the zone……the 65 second mark was the 1st walk…ok, just the first hitter……he will find the zone……his 6th straight ball comes at the 2:25 point, here maybe you get someone warm……3:40 mark his 8th straight ball and the pitching coach heads to the mound, here you HAVE to get someone warm……4:50 mark, another ball and finally SOMEONE starts to get warm….6:18 mark….finally a strike……6:37 mark, ball four run scores and he is out of the game……ok, now it took Lowe about 1:47 to get ready…..if you start him warming after 6 straight balls maybe he can come in before a run scores…..hell, if you start him warming during the coaches visit, you can stall for 30 more seconds and get him warm……and ALL THIS WITH AN OFF DAY tomorrow and IN THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES…..good god, Washington….this isn't a trip into Cleveland in June…..you USE what you GOT……you don't just hand this game over to the Giants……and when it was 2-0, they still had a shot….but as soon as it went 3-0 your odds went the wrong way really fucking quick…….now, it may be nit picking, but IN THE MOMENT as was just FLABERGASTED THAT NOBODY was IN THE PEN….hell, even just standing there READY TO START WARMING……….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
KINSLER
Yeah……that was a nice hit there…..your loss…..our gain…….

MOLINA
Watching the postgame interview yesterday, I got the feeling Molina wasn't that upset about the loss……sure, he's a competitor…..but we all know he is a big softy,…..and for some reason I get the feeling he wouldn't mind losing if it meant a ring for all his friends……I mean he DID spend 3 1/2 years here….his self described BEST YEARS OF HIS CAREER……and that warm welcome in Game 1 must have pulled at those heart strings……maybe I'm crazy, but something makes me believe this……maybe Molina ain't the Ranger secret weapon we thought after all…..I mean, hell he is hitting 350 in the postseason and Washington is still using Treanor as a "personal catcher" for Wilson….come on, think Eli Whiteside is going to catch Sanchez on Saturday????.....yeah, not fucking likely……


and yes, they are SMOKING WEED……not crack….and yes, its one hell of a fucking ballpark, thank you very much……


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at PHILLIES 10/19 NLCS Game 3

Oh Man, great fucking day at the ball yard…. great fucking win…. emotions ran high today as the Giants and Phillies both needed this game to get the upper hand…….the crowd was great and I have to say that I was in rare form today…my voice has rounded into postseason shape and I was bellowing from the front row of Triples Alley letting Werth know whose house this was……had the section of the ballpark rolling……and Jayson's got rabbit ears……hell, even had some of the press guys next to us rolling with the Werth's Randy Powers Mullet……and a quick lesson for the amateurs out there……
1) CLEAR ……Enuciate Enuciate Enuciate
2) CONCISE….. Minimize the Syllables ... say only what is NEEDED to make the point
3) SIMPLE…. don't get all Dennis Miller on us, SAY what you MEAN
4) CHANT……at the end of a heckle, pick a part and CHANT it on repeat……
5) TIME……pick your spot, you aren't going to overcome the crowd or PA system
6) PROJECT……use the diaphragm (TWHS)….and BREATHE OUT HARD……
7) CONTENT…… last and most important…..no swearing, no your mama jokes, and please no SUCK…..SUCK is the refuge of the weak mind…..THINK about your prey and what might bother him……fuck, pick up your goddamn I Phone and Google his ass……..

Go it?.....so don't yell and think anyone more than 2 rows from you can hear anything unless you follow these rules……got it?....great see ya tomorrow for another round…….

and btw, I posted some pics from Today's game here

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at PHILLIES 10/19 NLCS Game 3

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Shit, almost went to Cody for the gameball out of habit…..but no, today belongs to Matty…..and he was a fucking BEAST out there……GODDAMN I LOVE THIS KID……with a spotty history versus these hitters he came up LARGE with 7 innings of 2 hit ball…….and man, when he buzzed Rollins on an 0-2 pitch in the 2nd……man that set the tone…..Rollins with the base clearing double in game 2 and with his 6 for 10 off Cain….Rollins must have been feeling pretty good……..but now he had something else to think about….and after a couple teasers outside, Cain came back inside with a fastball that was meekly popped to Short…..and then an inning later coming in high and tight to a bunting Hamels…..and then one batter later drilling Victorino……there is no diving across the plate today…..and you now have to respect the hard stuff inside, which opens up the soft stuff away……..man, this kid is a throwback…..you get the sense that he truly dislikes the opposition and especially hitters…..you could see that at the All Star game where he looked like WHY THE FUCK AM I IN THE DUGOUT WITH YOU???? 1/2 the time……he eventually loosened up, but I am sure he was feeling awkward…..good work Cain, big win…..now take a seat and get ready for your next assignment……and lets hope that’s NEXT weekend and not this weekend…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
CODY
The Man……brings his offensive road tour home for the first time…….he left ATT Park a surprise replacement in right……he returns the firmly entrenched incumbent, and a virtual lock to be a member of the 2011 Giants…….

ROW-ROW
Looked like he was guessing up there most of the day……and he guess right 1 time, and that was enough to get himself on the positive side of the ledger……and he, you got to admire this guy for being a team player and pulling for the guys waiting for his chance……yeah, I know he's an overpaid bastard……but still, I will give him some props……

RENT
Single in the 4th was the first of the day and was the started the Giants offense for the day

BURRELL
Drew a big walk following Sanchez's Bunt, in front of Ross's RBI Single…..

SANCHEZ
Got the bunt down in the 4th, and was credited with an Utley Aided RBI Single…..

HUFF
Just out the reach of Utley for the second run of the game

LOPEZ
Righties? Lefties? It don't matter, this kid is getting it done

WILSON
Not always pretty, and often douchy…..but you can't argue with results….

BOCHY
Hey……it worked…….what can you say…….

DEFENSE
Taken for granted for most of the year…….flawless on a tough day with tough sun and shadows and lots of pressue……

JOKER

GHOSTS

Lots of Giants fans are coming out of the woodwork….and hey, there is plenty of room on the bandwagon…..and remember……some of today's bandwagoners are tomorrow's diehards…..but the one thing about the newer Giants fan that gets under my skin is the whole BELIEVE thing….it's not their fault, and I am sure we were all that way at some time……buts that’s NOT the way things work, and as much as I WANT to believe…..thats just not possible……you see being a Giants Fan is NOT easy…….the season doesn't end with a big fucking parade…..all you get is a big fat middle finger year after year after fucking year…….Personally, my first Ghost arrived in the 1987 NLCS….and then 89 then 93 then 97 then 98 then 2000…..and you get the idea……WE DON'T WIN IT ALL, WE CAN'T WIN IT ALL, THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN……yet no matter how many times I tell the stories of heartbreak I can tell, I still here something about how this is different……and yes we have a chance…..we have a very good chance…….but my ghosts won't let me believe until that final out is squeezed , there is a parade down Market Street,….and I can finally call that goddamn 800 number and get my Sports Illustrated Special Edition…hell, maybe they can even throw in a Football Phone……….but sorry kids…….that is STILL a long way off…… keep grinding G-Men…..keep grinding every pitch of every at bat…..and maybe the baseball god might actually show us favor and reward us one and for all……..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PHILLIES COACHING STAFF
Seemed to me that the Phillies had the same gameplan versus Cain as they had versus Lincecum and Sanchez……wait it out…….sorry Charlie, that's not the smartest thing versus Cain, and I saw many an early hittable strike blow past a passive lineup…Strike 1 was looking for 9 of the first 11 batters.....man, love that shit…Strike 1 is the biggest pitch in baseball…….keep on watching my friends…..you can't hit if you don’t swing the bat….

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 09/15

You may not have noticed, but many of the postseason races are pretty close to being wrapped up….according to the Baseball Prospectus playoff odds the Yankees Rays Rangers and Twins at least a 97% chance of making the playoffs……and in the NL the Reds are at 98% and the Phillies at 92%....which leaves the Padres Braves Rockies and Giants battling for the last two spots in the tourney……so as we head down the stretch, expect to see the Giants at the top of Sportscenter…..at least on the days that Clinton Portis isn't talking about 53 packages ….and I gotta think that Clinton would be a perfect spokesperson for UPS…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 09/15

GAMEBALL

CAIN

What's left to say…..Matt Cain was quietly efficient and dominant…..going 7 strong on 91 pitches…..walking none and allowing just 3 singles……yes Cain was in control all night and he wasn't letting anyone near 2nd base…..which is about all he has in common with the Jonas Brothers…..wait….what does that actually mean??? What would be second base on a guy anyway ….and what does that have to do with Huff's thong…..all things I really don't wanna know…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
FONTENOT
For a moment looked like he had broke through with a drive in the 5th that brought Gibbons to his knees on the warning track……then was finally able to plate that 1st run of the night in the 7th with a fist shot over whoever the hell was the second baseman for the Dodgers……Hey, its September……it's all a blur……

ISHI
Pinch hitter extraordinaire with the 1 out double pinch hitting for Cain

HUFF
Double and nice slide at home to give the Giants a cushion they sorely needed….

ROMO
3 up 3 down, 6 pitches 6 strikes……I think he is on a roll…….


JOKER

GIANTS FANS

Yes, you heard me….. the Giants have only drawn 35K in back to back nights…..now that would be great for some teams, but in the heat of the race versus their bitter historical rival I expect better than that…………yes, it’s a weekday…..yes, school is back in session…..yes, ballgames ain't cheap…..but I expect these to be sellouts or very close to…..I admit I have been guilty as well, but unusual workloads have kept me into the evening with no chance of going…..I guess it’s the economy in general, it just surprises me that Giants Fans didn't show up large the last couple nights….hell we probably had more Giants Fans this past weekend in San Diego as we had in the stands tonight

SMACK OF THE STICK :
BOCHY
Yes, I understand you wanted to shake things up a bit…..but playing Velez on defense is playing with fire….this is a guy who despite his speed is a liability out there……Honestly, I would rather see Burrell in the leadoff spot with his ability to work a count and draw a walk….hell, give Ford a shot for a game or two….drop a bunt, take some pitches……but hey, I guess with Guillen out of the picture we had to have a butcher in the outfield out there somewhere…..and really a Velez Ross Schierholtz alignment is still probably better than Burrell Torres Guillen…….he just scares the shit out of me….

PABLO
Man he looks lost up there for the last week or so….and tonight was no different, and it seemed like every threat the Giants had ended with Pablo….but hey, at least he hit that last ball slow enough to avoid the DP and draw a throw that Huff was able to beat out…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DOGGIES at GIANTS 08/01

Great day at the yard…..as close as you can get to a playoff atmosphere in early August……games like this make me miss Candlestick, a win like tonight would have resulted in a post game where 58,000+ rabid Giants fans charged with Euphoria and Alcohol would wind their way down ramps and escalators and then fight their way out of those congested parking lots honking and screaming as Dodger fans did their best to hide any trace of blue…..would take close to an hour of sitting in exhaust fumes to hit 101 (not THE 101)…..but it was almost as fun as the game…….now the closest you can get to that experience is winding your way down the ramps like cattle while a few Beat LA chants break out right in front of unthreatened Dodger fans….but enough about the good old days…….this is today, and today was FUCKING AWESOME……yes, that is the absolute best description for a day like today……I am not ready to declare October Baseball in San Francisco just yet……but I tell you what, today went a LONG WAY towards building this teams confidence……with the hated Dodgers in town…..with sell out crowds every night……with the team riding a wave of success……just FUCKING AWESOME…..this is BIGGER than 3 wins in a row…..this was a clean sweep that has the Dodgers teetering on the edge of contention……and has the Giants feeling like they could take on anyone anywhere anytime…….well the Giants are taking that feeling on the road to Colorado where they have to deal with Cook and Jimenez and a hot Rockies team……but mark you calendars for August 13-15th….where the Giants face their next big test ……a 3 day series versus the Padres……..and even if the Padres don't have the same rivalry game going…..October will be on the line and you will want to be here……

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DOGGIES at GIANTS 08/01

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Off the schnide….big time……Cain was FUCKING AWESOME…..to look at the line score you wouldn't get the feeling for how dominant Cain was…until Carrol's liner through the hole in the 8th, the Dodgers 3 hits were all grounders…..and I am not talking 1 hoppers through the hole…..I am talking multiple bouncers hit in the soft part of the infield defense……..Cain had it all working….Fastball Change Curve…..getting everything over for strikes…..and getting tons of swing throughs……14 of Cain's 78 strikes were swing and miss……Cain was so good that after Renteria's triple I heard a few people boldly proclaim BALLGAME in the bottom of the 6th inning……and Kershaw's body language showed it as well because it really felt like the Dodgers would need to move the heavens just to score a single run…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
RENT
And the meek shall inherit the earth…….but before then Renteria will have a good game…..and he had that game tonight with a nifty play up the middle to take a hit away from Martin and then in the hit of the game laced a triple through the left center gap for a 2 run triple and the ballgame…..

ROWAND
Faced Kershaw without fear……fisted a single to center……legged out a groundball error and took an intentional walk and came around to score on Renteria's triple……but the Rowand highlight had to be robbing a single from Furcal on a sinking liner I was sure was going to be a hit off the bat……

POSEY
Well the Dodgers won the beanball war……but the Giants fight Fire with Bullshit……and gotta hand it to Posey for complaining to the Umpire about where Blake was setting up in the box…..if you notice the camera pans to Kemp on first saying something like "What the fuck…..mumble mumble fuck mumble….." and just a moment later Cain picks off Kemp….so despite snapping his 2 game hit streak, Posey found a way to contribute…..

LOPEZ
one hitter, one leftie, one out……Sabean = Super Genius

WILSON
After going full count on the first three hitters……finally sealed the deal with a Kemp fly out to center……

JOKER

DODGERS…..

Well…..lets see…..
Blake was dropped to 5th in the order,……was taunted by Posey and West in his first At Bat…….ended up going 0 for 3 with three BIG K's…..and left on the on deck circle to end the game……
Kemp…..picked off 1st…..took an 0 for 4…….and misplayed Renteria's ball into a triple…..with a better angle it is possible that Rowand woulda been held at 3rd……maybe…..
Furcal….took the collar…..and tossed in a couple throwing errors….
Theriot…..greeted his new fan base with a nice 0 for 4 with 2 K's…..
Manny….oh yeah…..in his usual spot….no where to be found collecting a fat paycheck,…….
Man this whole team is playing like they have October tee times reserved

SMACK OF THE STICK :
MARTY LURIE
So I when stuck on the Bay Bridge trying to go home, I will listen to Giants postgame…..and Marty may be a nice guy……but he is a asskissing jelly fish…..he was actually congratulating Bochy on leaving Burrell in the Saturday game to hit the homer, and not going to Nate as a defensive replacement…….WHAT THE FUCK……hey Marty…..the Giants were DOWN by 1……even Bochy pointed that out to you…..WHO THE FUCK MAKES A DEFENSIVE REPLACEMENT DOWN BY A RUN????? good god, even Bochy isn't THAT stupid…….

BOWKER
Don't get me wrong I like the kid…..but to all those wishing John well and talking about the Pirates giving him a chance…..well……the Pirates have better alternatives too…..and Bowker leaves Fresno for Indianapolis……..that sounds like a downgrade to me…….

JOE MORGAN (some gleened from Twitter, as I was lucky enough to be AT the game)
Joe Morgan is a man of many talents…..as shown tonight on ESPN……
"He (Renteria) knows where 1st base is, he doesn't even have to look" -The Geographer
"3 out of 4 is 75%, 2 out of 3 is 66%" - The Math Teacher
"If you walk someone with a 2-run lead, you bring the tying run to the plate" - The Strategist

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin


http://s51.photobucket.com/albums/f400/jackj0000/random/?action=view¤t=blakedouchesmall.jpg

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DBACKS 07/22

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DBACKS 07/22

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Who needs offense when you throw a mound ace out there every night? Well, the Giants in the desert only managed a 3 spot but that was MORE than enough for Matt….going 8 solid allowing 3 hits and 3 walks….were they all to Upton??? seems like it……mixing a low to mid 90's heater with Changeups Sliders and Curves, throwing everything for strikes……Matt looks like he has caught a second wind with his second dominant start coming out of the break …and this time he mixed in 9 K's in 8 innings to help appease the Voros BABIP crowd…..so good work Matty and keep it rolling

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
One of the big difference makers in 2010….and tonight he did it with the bat hitting turning around an offspeed pitch off Rodrigo Lopez over the Los Dbacks sign (Merkin refrains from injecting political commentary here) in Right Center….and then just a 1/2 innings later he stole extra bases from Chris Young…..

HUFF
After giving the Ump some entertaining body language in the first, Huff walked on 6 balls….and the proceeded to do pull a sneaky steal of 2nd…..and come around to score the first run of the game…….

POSEY
2 more hits for the newest Phenom for the Giants, including a 2 out single in the first to plate the Giants first run……yes, we have said a Right Handed Will Clark……but I will go one further…..give him some time, and a little bulk……and I am thinking Albert Pujols….without the juice, of course…Am I crazy? Perhaps, but it had to be said……

URIBE
2 hits including a double and run scored in the 7th…..

ROWAND
Singled in Uribe, and then swiped a base perhaps more entertaining than Huff's

JOKER

MLBPA

You have probably noticed that I have made some items on the Cafepress site mostly to promote the site, and provide items that would not normally be available to Giants Fans…..Sure I have pushed the envelope of what may be considered acceptable……Now I can tell you I have been my own best customer, buying items and giving them away to help promote the site, and really just cause I can……Now I can assure you I have not made a dime off the Giants or the Giants players……this site COSTS money and TIME to run and the promotion I have done for the site has also COST me money…..so when I get an email from Cafepress telling me that they have been contacted by the MLBPA about some of the items I had listed and they were being taken down……well, I understand they are completely within their rights……but I still think its bullshit …..of all the things to be concerned about, they are worried because I have sold 10 fucking shirts, and then taken whatever proceeds to buy more stuff to give away…..right now I have a bunch of buttons I just printed up, and I can tell you that I plan on giving them ALL away, and probably buying some more…..this is HURTING their bottom line? Fuck they probably paid that lawyer more for 20 minutes of work than any revenue I could have cost them…..all this while people stand outside of ballpark hawking counterfeit merchandise for profit to an audience larger than I could ever hope to sell to……not to mention all the shit on Ebay are obviously for profit…...its all fucking bullshit if you ask me……what's next, a lawsuit? ….. yeah, take my fucking house that is $100K underwater and all my money…..maybe then I could give up my season tickets and the money I spend on Giants shit all year long…Yes, you are completely within your rights, and you WIN…fucking jackasses

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PABLO
You have heard that baseball is a game of adjustment, and you can see it in action if you just watch a few at bats from Pablo a night…….the high fastball was the weakness……and he finally started to lay off the pitches that were too high to hit, and punishing the ones he could get to……so what happened……a steady diet of curveballs …..with a good number of them in the dirt……now it looks like he started taking more curves and forcing pitchers to throw them for strikes……so what does he see…..Curveballs in the dirt…..Curveballs in the zone…..Fastballs high……he is doing the best he can to adjust, but he's having a hard time trying to lay off the Curveball down and Fastball up…..At this point I don't think he is going to see anything hard for a strike….so sit back, and think Curve and go the other way…..let it get it deep on you so you can see where its going…….and don't even think Fastball until 2 strike protect mode……easier said than done……



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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at ASTROS 06-24

When I realized the Giants got an extra 3 game set in Houston, it seemed like the perfect cure from the Toronto woes, and a chance to fatten up before tough home sets versus the Red Sox and the Dodgers….well things didn't turn out as planned …….

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at ASTROS 06-24

GAMEBALL

ROWAND

Whatthe fuck is the world coming to??? Renteria yesterday with 3 hits, and now Rowand??? So has Rowand found his stroke….well….I doubt it… still hacky…..4 swings 9 pitches in 4 Plate Appearances….and its not like he was tearing the cover off the ball with 2 bouncing grounders through the hole on the right side and an a line hugging double to the opposite field that was hit about as hard as those grounders…..but nonetheless 3 hits is 3 hits, and he got 2 runs scored mixed is….so I give him a begrudging GAMEBALL

TIP OF THE CAP :
BURRELL
What's not to like….4 HR's already and looks like a player….along with Huff he has changed the complexion of this offense…..down by 7? here's a 2 run bomb……and in the 6th with the Giants down 7-2 and Burrell at the plate with men on…..well….he didn't come through, but I had a strange feeling……not in my pants, you sick fucks….it was a feeling that we actually were still in the game….well, it was too little too late, but this is a different team….now if we can just start pitching…..

BULLPEN
Speaking of pitching….if you have a strong bullpen and some offense….you can actually win games without your starter throwing a complete game shut out….I know, sounds crazy…..but its true….I have seen other teams do it….honest

RENT
2 more hits….not looking THAT bad…..at least offensively……and its not like Uribe has Vizquel type range…..

TORRES
Hey, 1 hit….and don't worry Rowand was just in there for day game after night game….right?? he was just in there to rest Torres….right??

ISHIKAWA
Could win a batting title if he could figure out a way to get 500 AB's as a pinch hit

JOKER

CAIN

Well that wasn't any fun…..Matty got spanked like a Watermelon at a Grocery Store Hey, Monkey thought it would be funny, and gots to keep the Monkey happy….although I have to admit I have never spanked a Watermelon and I don't think I have seen anyone spank a Watermelon …and what exactly are you supposed to hear???….but I digress…..didn't see much wrong with Cain today other than a little control…..the Pence Homer was fastball on the hands that probably caught a little too much plate…..Castro hit a 2-1 Changeup low in the zone….and Berkman's 2 run double was off a broken bat……maybe it’s the law of averages catching up with him?? Maybe that low BABIP is come back to roost??? Nahhhhh…..lets just call it an off night …..


SMACK OF THE STICK :
URIBE
Another player with an off night,….and it wasn't pretty …DP in front of Burrell's HR in the 4th….big chopper to short to end the rally in the 7th…and a K to end the game…..0 for 3 with runners in scoring position and in those AB's there were a total 6 runners on base

MOLINA
The only thing slower than his legs is his bat…..I thought the Posey callup might light a fire…..well I don't see it…..unless it’s a Funeral Pyre for Bengie's career

PEDRO
I don't care about his shortcomings, he was a good giant in a tough time….but man, it sure has gotten ugly…..well, at least he got a ring……


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at REDS 06/08

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at REDS 06/08

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Cain has been the man of the Giants rotation for about as long as Timmy has been struggling….Since Timmy's May 20th start where he gave up 5 runs
Cain 3-1 with 0.264 ERA 0.735 WHIP 6.08 K/9 1.59 BB/9
Tim 1-3 with 6.85 ERA 1.84 WHIP 8.06 K/9 6.85 BB/9
Stark contrast to be sure…..so the "little ace" Cain hasn’t supplanted his teammate as the ace, but is doing exactly what a good teammate should..picking up the slack and taking the pressure off his buddy….and now with Timmy showing signs of life, Cain still rolling and the Giants offense finding its pulse on the road….well…..Cain might not have to get 2 this and RBI and throw a complete game shutout to get a W……but hey, it doesn't hurt…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE
Nice to see his golf game is looking good…I'm thinking that he was using a 9.5 Callaway Driver on that shot….and it was the difference for most of the ballgame…..

TORRES
Great plays all night, but the one that stood out was in the 7th…..and man I love his style of D….sprint to the spot and square it up…..makes a lot of difficult plays look easy and he is getting more comfortable back in his natural position in Center after playing way too much Left and Right for my taste…..add a double and a walk…and he is still on the love side…..

PAT the BAT
.417? Yeah, I am liking this….and his defense isn’t THAT bad people…..

SANDOVAL
2 hits and a walk….but is still swinging at shit…..but signs of life at least…..

MOLINA
Sporting an 0 fer and a GIDP when they walked Posey to get to you….OH MAN…..you BETTER get a hit….I mean, you already have half of the therapists in North California busy 24/7……

HUFF/ SANCHEZ
4 walks between them…..quick, get a coach in here….they need to be more aggressive…..

SABEAN
Draft Hitters??? But why would we need Hitters???

JOKER

DUSTY

Dusty has had much success this year…..and the Reds are a good looking young team….but I wonder if they are succeeding despite him, as opposed to because of him……and boy that Dusty certainly gets the most out of a pitching staff…Harang got the shit beat out of him a couple years back and hasn't been the same….Arroyo gets abused…Cueto, well….after being hurt has been hot and cold….Bailey is inconsistent and hurt…..and that’s not to mention Edwin Volquez and his Elbow…and then there is his history with Cubs and Giants……thank god he isn't running our pitching staff…If I were Mike Leake's agent…I would demand a trade……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROWAND
Hey…..water boy…..go mix us up a fresh batch of Hatorade……

MOLINA
for that 0 fer 3 and GIDP before coming through…..hey Dusty thinks you suck….he told me so……




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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> ROCKS at GIANTS 06-02

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> ROCKS at GIANTS 06-02

GAMEBALL

CAIN

UNSUSTAINABLE was the cry…..yeah, I know I've seen the stats too…..but I am pretty sure Cain hasn't as he went out there and shut down the opposition again……his lone mistake was a fastball after 4 straight curveballs to Tulowitski…..and, sure it was a location mistake but how in the hell can Tulo be sitting on that after 4 curves…..anyways, Cain's walk totals continue to fall and that oh so telling BABIP that was unsustainable at .268 last year is down to .237 this year…..Lucky or good?.....Heck, I don't know but when you are 3rd in the league in WHIP behind Ubaldo and Halladay…..you are doing something right…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
ROWAND
Mumble mumble….blind squirrel….mumble mumble…nonetheless, good job on that double, and who knows if the Giants break through without it…..of course 1 hit does not a streak make…..

SANCHEZ
Knees looked pretty good scoring from 1st on a double

POSEY
2 hits and a nifty slide to score from 1st on a double….

SANDOVAL
Nice double to get the Giants 3rd run across

MOLINA
Hey runs are few a far between……you drive in a run these days you get a tip….just the tip, I swear…..

HUFF
Singled and scored and hit the ball about as hard and far as you can in the Major Leagues and still make an out……pretty sure he won't complain……

WILSON
1-2-3….just like we like em,….

JOKER

JOYCE

Sure you have heard this one 57 times by now….but Joyce probably set back the umpires today more than Mark Wegner and Bill Hohn and Joe West combined….and sad enough, everyone talks about his as a class act and the players are taking it in stride…..nope, jim made the worst play of his life….the Cody Ransom boot of an Umpires career….yes Jim didn't commit the crime of being an ass…..he committed the crime of the CHOKE……he is the Bill Buckner of Umpires…..and for his crime, instant replay will be looked at more in depth this coming off-season….and honestly, after shit like this…..its seems more like a good idea than a bad idea…….


SMACK OF THE STICK :
TORRES
0 for 4 with 2 k's……hope this was just a road bump, cause it don't take much to get a player out of the lineup when he inst making $12 million a year…….

CARGO
Carlos Gonzales……I want him on our team…..reminds me of a non switch hitting Carlos Beltran…….


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Man I love this kid…..back in the darker days of recent Giants history, there were a pair of young guns that gave Giants hope…..well, Noah is long gone…but that Horse of a kid from Alabama is as rock solid as ever…..called up at the tender age of 20, Cain shouldered a full load ….and the now 25 year old already has 4 consecutive years of 30+ starts and doesn't look like he is slowing down anytime soon….this kid is a throwback to the days when players didn’t change team every other year and the guy in the other dugout was your sworn enemy….heck I bet that first day off All Star Festivities last year Cain just sat there staring at his National League teammates thinking…..what the fuck….you are the enemy…..I can't talk to you……Good job Matty on that 1 hitter…..what a fucking performance…..just when Timmy is hitting a bump and the Giants rotation needed a jolt…..Cain came up BIG TIME….

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Too much man love for 1 guy yet?... Hey Bochy…..How about a few starts in CENTER…….

PABLO
PANDA POWER…..nice to see a bomb from the big boy,……add 3 RBI's and I think he deserves a nice big helping of Lasagna…..Hey, another HR tomorrow and Post Game meal is on me

HUFF
Little power, little patience…..how did this guy suck so bad last year?

GLASS FREDDY
Couple big knocks, couple nifty plays…..and no time on the DL…..by the way….how many games does he have to stay healthy until he can shake this reputation…..I am guessing……4 years without missing a game……otherwise…….HEY….You don't get a second chance to make a first impression….I saw it on a gum commercial, so it must be true……

JOKER

PAT

Man…..one of my favorite heckle targets in Left Field……the overpaid……low BA 1st PICK OVERALL……well, in reality he was better than his stat line seemed…….legitimate 30 Homer Power……75-100 walk guy with a 250 BA……a nice solid player in the lineup……but how can you ever live up to that 1st overall pick if your name ain't ARod or Griffey….. Chipper did pretty well….Strasburg looks to be the real deal……but unless you put up a HOF career you are a disappointment…..well Burrell won't have to worry about the Hall any time soon…..he is just struggling to stay in the league with this whole new "defensive mentality"….but if he does sign with the Giants….its not a question of IF he hits in AAA…..believe me, he will RAKE the PCL……so come on Giants, what have you got to lose….34 year old hitter with a career OPS of .834.. that's better than ANYONE on the team……after a tuneup Give Burrell a shot in Left and shift Torres over to Center, we don't have anyone of note in Center anyway…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROWAND
And when you get the pine, you can show that you are a team player and shut the hell up……you want to play that bad, then ask for your release and give up the rest of that contract
NATE
Hard play….but makeable…..especially for the gold glove caliber defensive player like you….see how I spun that into a compliment?? Gotta be careful….he's a big mean man…Dad knows what I look like….might kick my ass ;)……

MERKIN
Wasn't it just a few days ago some JACKASS was saying we should trade Cain for a few minor leaguers or something?.....oh yeah, that was me……and maybe this is the perfect time…….

REYNOLDS
Got the lone hit and a HBP for the only two blemishes that stood between Cain and his Perfect Game….of course they happened so early in the game, the drama and pressure wasn’t there….so who knows if he ever gets close with the pressure…..but playing what if sure is fun

CARLOS ZAMBRANO
Apparntly…..didn't need emergency surgery…..in fact….probably just too many Italian Beef Sandwiches….which begs the question….exactly HOW MANY Sandwiches do you have to eat before you get sent to the hospital to get tests to determine if you need surgery????


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin