GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> CUBS at GIANTS 08/12

Another long long day, tired as hell….but I am putting together a rally…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> CUBS at GIANTS 08/12

GAMEBALL

PAT

Damn Pat, I used up all my material yesterday……but when you are the front side of a back to back and throw in a slam for good measure, hard not to give you that game ball even if that lead was given up by the pen……not only has this move worked out to near perfection, but the way Pat came to the Giants with little expectation and with Huff and Rowand on the roster, has allowed him to slip seamlessly into the Clubhouse and into Giants fans affections…..if he signed a lucrative Free Agent contract before the 2009 season, I think things might not have gone as smoothly…… the back issues he had in 2009 could have happened here, and with the burden of a fat contract, the fans would have much less patience……and fans gone sour, and a less friendly clubhouse to an outspoken newcomer, the Giants coulda very well be the team that DFA'ed him in 2010……but as things worked out, he is the right guy at the right place at the right time, and keep it rolling cause the Giants are putting something special together this year…..something that is no guarantee to be here in 2011…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
ROWAND
I always figured Rowand would go full blown Molina on us if put in a part time roll…..and I gotta tell you….I think for the first time in a Giant uniform, I actually feel a little warmth towards him…..that slide into 2nd during the 5th inning was Keeanu-esque, with the tag following Rowand's arm that kept moving, while Rowand's lower body comes into the bag and then hooks Castro's ankle to prevent an overslid…..….and then the ill advised dive into 1st to lead off the 9th, he hit the dirt so hard, that he could crap some replica Etruscan Pottery in the morning……

TORRES
1 swing……..1 swing baby……..

SANCHEZ
Well, looks like Fontenot is paying dividends already……and Sanchie was 2 for 2 with a walk and a perfect sac bunt in the 9th…….

POSEY/ HUFF
0 hits, 4 walks, 2 runs scored……

PABLO
The Triple would been outta most parks….and the Homer was out of this one……

CAIN
Settled down after a rocky first, but the pitch count got him after 6


JOKER

DOGGIES

Nothing goes better with a Giants Win, then a Dodgers Loss…..A great pair, like Mays and McCovey, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Abbott and Costello, Lasorda and Slim Fast, Matt Kemp and Apathy, Casey Blake and his Wife Rosie Palm…….ahh but tonight, was not just any kind of loss….no this was a gourmet loss complete with blowing a lead for their best starter, a temper tantrum in the dugout, a key boot from the biggest redass on the team, a lecture from the wise manager right before the death blow to a closer with no confidence…..ummm, Broxton… your tears are so delicious……and on a side note, congrats to Kemp back in the lineup after being benched got 3 hits and 4 RBI's …and of course one of those hits was a single that woulda been a double if he was running hard…….and get this stat geeks…..Matt Kemp is got 19 HR's and 63 RBI's…..and actually has a NEGATIVE WPA….in other words, despite his tools and individual numbers, he is actually COSTING wins, not adding to wins…..in other words, he is doing his damage in low leverage situations, when the game is NOT on the line……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
RAY/ LOPEZ/ MOTA/ ROMO
Blowing the 4 run lead and the Cain W was a true team effort…..the lone run by Ray, and then the Lopez Mota Romo combo in the 8th…..none of them earned a Joker by themselves, but together they certainly deserve at least a smack of the stick……

NATE
K in his only AB, and might have had a chance on that Hill Double had he broke the right way off the bat……but if he coulda made it would have been one hell of a play…..maybe not a smack of the stick, perhaps just a nudge……



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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> CUBS at GIANTS 08/11

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> CUBS at GIANTS 08/11

GAMEBALL

PAT

In the giddy days of Pat in a fresh new Giants Uni, I went on a short limb to claim 10-15 homers in a Giants uni with an OBP north of .375 Well wasn't looking too good when Pat was on the Pine but after his 8th ding of the year in the Creamscicle and Orange, I will go back and point out that I am a genius…….Man, the more I see this guy, the more I like him……Yes, he has that Uribesque swing hard in case you hit it style at the plate, even with 2 strikes……but unlike Uribe, he works counts with 4.10 Pitches per Plate Appearance leading the team just a tick ahead of Torres 4.06 Pitches per PA……And then when he isn't in the game, you see him in dugout acting like he is one of the coaches, making the rounds to players and coaches alike……but tonight, the big contribution was on the diamond……recovering on a ball to the wall to hit Uribe with a good throw to relay, and then in the 8th, taking some off speed jumk deep to left for the go ahead run that would win the game and drive the girls wild…..its good to be Pat…….Glory…..Money…..and all the MILF a guy could want…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
ROWAND
I have to give a tip of the cap to Aaron….the Biggest red ass on the team, is all about team coming off the bench……and he has been contributing where he can, and tonight it was a go ahead homer in the 6th that gave the Giants a short lived lead…..

TORRES
Couple more hits, a walk and most importantly got the Giants started in the 1st inning with a single and steal

HUFF
Couple knocks to keep his average above .300……man, the bar has been raised for Aubrey……1 hit in 5 days and it’s a slump……hell for Rowand that’s a good week……

URIBE
Really made that play on the relay home, Dewitt had 4 steps past 3rd when the throw hit Uribe's glove…..quick release, strong arm, accurate throw, and Dewitt was out by 10 feet…….and extra thanks for accuracy, a little off target and it coulda been ugly…..a little high and it coulda been fatal…….

POSEY
Didn't do much with the bat…..but you gotta love this kid, seems to come out smelling like roses in every situation…..and the collision at home plate, stands firm but gives ground on a spin to help absorb the blow….and comes out the winner on the field, and in the clubhouse with Posey unscathed and Dewitt with a face full of catchers helmet…….

ROMO/ WILSON
This 1-2 punch is looking about as good as they have all year long…..

JOKER

BYRD

Marlon Byrd and Pat the Bat in the same game…..my mind drifts back to an afternoon in 2003…. a younger Merkin spent the afternoon in 1st row of Section 140 alternately heckling Byrd and Burrell……..Byrd was a rookie Centerfielder making the minimum and hitting around .300……Pat was playing his first season of a HUGE (back then) $50 Million contract and hitting about .200……you can imagine…….Hey Pat is this what they get for $50M????... Hey Marlon,.300 for minimum wage…….200 is $50 Million, quit trying so hard……and if you have been to a game with me before, you probably know I am a very very loud man……and I understand the importance of brevity and enunciation while heckling…well, Pat the Bat was the star that day hitting a game tying shot in the 8th, and a go ahead homer in the 10th to shut my ass up…….and Despite Byrd having a career year in 2010 and Pat clearing waivers earlier in the year…..Pat has racked up close to $70M in earnings compared with Marlons $9 Million…..Pat is still being paid MORE than Marlon for 2010…..and Pat overshadowed Marlon again today with a go ahead Homer in the 8th……some things never chance, Eh Marlon?


SMACK OF THE STICK :
DEWITT
Dumbass….goes into the catchers gear face first for the out…..fucking Dodger…

ZITO
For giving up a first pitch BOMB to a leftie on a curve…..and for giving proponents of the DH some lowlights with the bat

FONTENOT
Shades of the Sanchez trade last year where he just moved clubhouses…..of course this time it was DURING the series….and that’s gotta be weird….Mike is a play versus Lefties at your own risk, owning a career 0.235 BA and .348 SLG vs southpaws…..and his .284 in 2010 is almost exclusively versus righties….with only 7 Plate Appearances versus Lefties……but he did have 2 hits in those 7 chances……

FSANCHEZ
Big vote of confidence with the Fontenot acquisition…..and you can smell that platoon coming…..Freddy has traditionally Killed Lefties (.351) and held his own against Righties (.277)…..well this year, he is Killing Lefties (.350) and getting killed versus Righties (.232)…..even his solid glove work won't save him from a short side of a platoon if he cant get it going soon……

EVAN CRAWFORD
It took my brain about 5 seconds to register the trade of Infielder Evan Crawford as announced on KNBR….to recap my brain interpreting the announcement…..…."Fontenot for Crawford…..Evan, Evan….infielder?...they clearly said Evan….outfielder right? No they clearly said Evan…….that's the thin black dude in Arizona…..they wouldn't trade Brandon for Fontenot…..gotta be Evan….."

SAN DIEGO
One can't help but look forward to the series this weekend…..what are the chances I can get a BEAT south LA…BEAT south LA chant going?.....rolls off the tongue better than BEAT north Mexico…BEAT north Mexico……..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DOGGIES at GIANTS 07/31

Little sun baked an with the picnic + game, tired as heck……

You know…..Sabean did exactly what I would hope he would do……not that I would complain about a big bat coming in for a decent price…..but I was just hoping he wouldn't screw the pooch on some dumbass fleece of a trade…..or give up something of consequence for nothing……and in the end, he basically got a couple arms for the pen that well…..they have arms…….but gave up very little….I mean lets be honest guys like Joe Martinez and Bowker are expendable…they are mid-20's guys who have had shots in the show and don't fit into the current plan……of course, there is a chance they could suddenly blossom, but they aren't exactly like some of the younger prospects where we don't yet know what we have…….and then there was Turpen was a Double A bullpen arm that had some promise….losing these players do not damage the long term value of the talent base, and they get a couple guys they can stick in the pen until Affeldt and Runzler get back…..and in the case of Lopez, just having a sidewinding leftie in the pen keeps the opposing lineups honest……and with those splits, make sure he is 100% loogy….

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DOGGIES at GIANTS 07/31

GAMEBALL

PAT

What can you say, he is a swing from the heels kind of guy who racks up the K's and the BB's…. and today he came through in the best spot so far as a Giant…..man, the crowd was quiet as hell into the middle innings, with our attempts at getting any sort of chat going meeting with only limited results……it wasn't as if the crowd was inattentive…no, the exact opposite…..they were so focused on the game at hand they couldn't be bothered with such frivolities as chanting…….as the innings moved on the focus turned to stress….and then after the Blake bomb that stress turned dred……and after Zito was pinch hit for and Bautista in the pen we KNEW Torres would have to come through or the game was over…….well, Torres didn't come through……and despite Denny's best efforts, it was still 1-0 with a runner on 1st and Pat at the plate with a 3-2 count……when Pat laced a line drive that looked to be right at Podsednik…..maybe it will get over his head for a double…….and it kept on sailing …….and once that ball cleared the fence into the 1st row of the bleachers…..the whole fucking place erupted…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
ZITO
Pitched his ass off…..other than the 4th inning, wasn't really in trouble all day…..

POSEY
Three line drives =- 1 double and 2 outs…….and then took one off the shoulder in front of Burrell's blast……

MOTA
Fucking Money…..pounding the strike zone with that nasty fastball changeup combo to notch the save picking up Bautista and Wilson

JOKER

COLLETTI

OK Lilly wasn't a bad deal…..but he's a 34 year old leftie coming off shoulder surgery and has seen his velocity fall into the mid 80's…….but Ned didn't give up much for Lilly and he is an improvement over what they have now…….but the Dotel deal was a bit over the top… a 22 year old.Lambo coming off a 50 day PED suspension is still a legitimate power hitting outfield prospect and James McDonald who despite being 26 has tools and is still developing as a pitcher having been converted from a hitter in 2006…..both players look like they would be contributors to the Dodgers of the future……but the real question is…..5.5 games out of the wild card, with Broxton burnt out and you offense on the slide……do you really think you should be buyers???? that farm system was already depleted by trades the past few years and now you are basically clearing out the cupboard to make a run of it this year????......if you were able to use Manny to replenish the system while getting Dotel and Lilly, these moves would make more sense…..but you got a core of Billingsley Kershaw Kemp and Ethier…and the way things are going, you won't have anything coming off that farm to help them out while they are still young…..yeah, Dee Gordon is still in the system……but surely Ned will trade him for an past him prime veteran this offseason…….good job Ned….keep it up…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
BOCHY
What the hell is up with the Bautista fetish…….Mota hadn't pitched since Wednesday….which I made abundantly clear to everyone within earshot of me as we watched Bautista warming……Mota was the obvious choice…..I was convinced he must have some super secret injury to not be warming during the bottom of the 7th……

TORRE
Quit hitting our fucking players you jackass……you will get yours for sure

FOX
Kenny Albert, Chris Rose, and Eric Karros……I would rather have Tim McCarver and Joe Buck……ok, maybe I went a little too far there…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-29

OK, this team is playing like shit……I am pissed off, frustrated, and don't even want to watch this crap…..can't hit, and the starters… the supposed strength of the team are just average…….BUT sitting at 40-36 with 23 games left against the Padres and Dodgers is a little early for a Russo Rant……

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> DODGERS at GIANTS 06-29

GAMEBALL

THE BAT

Well at least someone looks like they want to beat LA…..Pat continues his hot hitting ways in a Giants uni with 2 hits and a walk in 4 Plate Appearances including his 5th HR in 61 AB's….You know I am getting sick of hearing about his defense….its not gold glove for sure, but he does fine out there and if he is hitting I don't really give a fuck….you need to actually SCORE runs to win games, and god forbid you fall behind the opposition……you can have 50 webgems out there and still lose 1-0…….so ride the hot hand and keep running him out there every goddamn day…..and if he cools off…..well let him hit his way out of it…..he has earned at least as much leash as Rowand was given……..

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
All he does is score runs in the first inning…..just wish he could do something in the next 8……

PEN
Great effort for naught again…. 4 innings of shutout ball from Mota, Runzler, Romo, and Affelt…….

JOKER

PANDA

Man, I was one that thought the whole camp Panda thing was a bad idea…you don't make someone's personal shit public……..if you are going to get him to work out to make a media spectacle out of it…….thats why fat chicks invented Curves……so they can be fat and sweaty in private…….now the whole thing looks like it backfired…..I don't klnow if Pablo is really heavier……but I know the worse Pablo hits the fatter he looks……now you got Pablo dropping his nightly Deuces on the bases…this kid better have a thick skin, cause the fans are going razz him…..self doubt is gonna creep in…..and the whole thing could implode…..…I said it yesterday and say it again today…..the Giants don’t go anywhere without Pablo…..and not only has Pablo got a .234/.290/.345 line since May 1st…..but despite that, I do have faith he will turn it around……but who knows when…..maybe not even this season……but if he continues to play like this, you got to consider benching him in favor of other alternatives……at least losing playing time might motivate him to shed some weight and refine his game……you can try to coach and talk all you want, but actions speak louder than words…….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
CAIN
Man, we needed Cainer to nut up and give a performance worthy of an all star berth……but instead on the 5th, he makes a bad location mistake to Loney grooving a belt high fastball to Loney for a 2 run single that changed the game…..good god, why is it every time there is a big moment, Giants pitchers miss location and leave one on a tee for the hitters???

MOLINA
Looking slower and slower every day,….and not on the bases, I mean behind the plate….I swear since the Posey call up, looks like Molina is just going through the motions……time to play Whiteside or Posey behind the dish and let Molina try to get work elsewhere….hey, I hear Just My Sizeis looking for a new spokeswomen for their new line of sports bras…..

RENT
Dropped the ball that woulda nailed Manny in the 1st, and got the GIDP before the Giants could even try to put together a threat in the 7th


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

10 Reasons Pat the Bat is worth a shot

10 Reasons I think Pat Burrell's disappointing 2009 might not mean he is cooked as a full timer…..

1) He is still only 33 years old, if healthy the bat speed should still be there. I would find it highly unlikely that his bat could have slowed that much that quickly with age.

2) He was hurt last year. Went out in May with a "Stiff Neck"…got a cortisone injection and missed a month….The injury recurred in August, but he only missed part of 1 game… this could be part of the reason for his horrid year

3) He played 9 innings in the field last year…going from full time outfielder for your whole career to sitting on the bench for 2-3 innings at a time before hitting takes adjustment. Failing to adjust could be part of the reason for his failure.

4) As many others have mentioned, the American League IS different….take it for whatever it means to you

5) Expanded his strike zone in 2008 AND 2009 taking fewer pitches and swinging at more pitches out of the zone….this was good for 33 HR in 2008 but the approach didn't lead to success in 2009…. this trend is counter the norm as I expect veteran players to become MORE patient with time, not LESS patient (non-Giants sucky vets excluded)…..if he can recapture his high Pitch per PA ways, he should right the ship….

6) He is not playing to justify his current contract, he is playing for NEXT years contract….if he doesn't produce NOW, he will never have another good payday…..

7) Rolen and Glaus…..both older, both sank deeper, but are succeeding against odds…..hey if these two dinosaurs can resurrect their careers in the NL, then there is hope for anyone…..

8) His bad attitude is not of consequence…..he is low man on the totem pole coming into this clubhouse with the vets and talented kids we already have….they should keep him in his place….and if he hits….well…..does anyone care about chemistry at that point???

9) Low risk…he's cheap, we didn't have to cut any one of note from the 40 man (I can't even remember who got cut)

10) If I am wrong, then we can forget about the whole thing….not like he has some fat fucking 5 year $60 million contract attached to him that forces him into the lineup when even a 4 year old with a rudimentary understanding of baseball knows that money should not equate to playing time……(sorry couldn't help it)



OK, so maybe it works, maybe it doesn't…..but signing and bringing up Burrell is a SMART CHEAP move…..beats the hell out of trading a pitching prospect for a 1/2 season rental player …..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Man I love this kid…..back in the darker days of recent Giants history, there were a pair of young guns that gave Giants hope…..well, Noah is long gone…but that Horse of a kid from Alabama is as rock solid as ever…..called up at the tender age of 20, Cain shouldered a full load ….and the now 25 year old already has 4 consecutive years of 30+ starts and doesn't look like he is slowing down anytime soon….this kid is a throwback to the days when players didn’t change team every other year and the guy in the other dugout was your sworn enemy….heck I bet that first day off All Star Festivities last year Cain just sat there staring at his National League teammates thinking…..what the fuck….you are the enemy…..I can't talk to you……Good job Matty on that 1 hitter…..what a fucking performance…..just when Timmy is hitting a bump and the Giants rotation needed a jolt…..Cain came up BIG TIME….

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Too much man love for 1 guy yet?... Hey Bochy…..How about a few starts in CENTER…….

PABLO
PANDA POWER…..nice to see a bomb from the big boy,……add 3 RBI's and I think he deserves a nice big helping of Lasagna…..Hey, another HR tomorrow and Post Game meal is on me

HUFF
Little power, little patience…..how did this guy suck so bad last year?

GLASS FREDDY
Couple big knocks, couple nifty plays…..and no time on the DL…..by the way….how many games does he have to stay healthy until he can shake this reputation…..I am guessing……4 years without missing a game……otherwise…….HEY….You don't get a second chance to make a first impression….I saw it on a gum commercial, so it must be true……

JOKER

PAT

Man…..one of my favorite heckle targets in Left Field……the overpaid……low BA 1st PICK OVERALL……well, in reality he was better than his stat line seemed…….legitimate 30 Homer Power……75-100 walk guy with a 250 BA……a nice solid player in the lineup……but how can you ever live up to that 1st overall pick if your name ain't ARod or Griffey….. Chipper did pretty well….Strasburg looks to be the real deal……but unless you put up a HOF career you are a disappointment…..well Burrell won't have to worry about the Hall any time soon…..he is just struggling to stay in the league with this whole new "defensive mentality"….but if he does sign with the Giants….its not a question of IF he hits in AAA…..believe me, he will RAKE the PCL……so come on Giants, what have you got to lose….34 year old hitter with a career OPS of .834.. that's better than ANYONE on the team……after a tuneup Give Burrell a shot in Left and shift Torres over to Center, we don't have anyone of note in Center anyway…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROWAND
And when you get the pine, you can show that you are a team player and shut the hell up……you want to play that bad, then ask for your release and give up the rest of that contract
NATE
Hard play….but makeable…..especially for the gold glove caliber defensive player like you….see how I spun that into a compliment?? Gotta be careful….he's a big mean man…Dad knows what I look like….might kick my ass ;)……

MERKIN
Wasn't it just a few days ago some JACKASS was saying we should trade Cain for a few minor leaguers or something?.....oh yeah, that was me……and maybe this is the perfect time…….

REYNOLDS
Got the lone hit and a HBP for the only two blemishes that stood between Cain and his Perfect Game….of course they happened so early in the game, the drama and pressure wasn’t there….so who knows if he ever gets close with the pressure…..but playing what if sure is fun

CARLOS ZAMBRANO
Apparntly…..didn't need emergency surgery…..in fact….probably just too many Italian Beef Sandwiches….which begs the question….exactly HOW MANY Sandwiches do you have to eat before you get sent to the hospital to get tests to determine if you need surgery????


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin