Giants Bullpen 2010.....GAMER or HEADCASE Part 4 (Last Installment)

Giants Bullpen 2010.....GAMER or HEADCASE Part 4 (Last Installment)


Opening on the road is never as cool as opening at home, but in this case it's probably a good thing… I hear that last year Tim was a bit surprised the game got started so quick after the rain delay and was a bit unprepared on his way to an early exit…Tomorrow may not be huge in the big scheme of things, but for me I am watching Tim performance with the playoffs in the back of my head…. Opening day is about a big a adrenaline rush as you are going to get outside of post season and so far in adrenaline games, he has been less than stellar….Opening Day and All Star Game Last Year ….I don't doubt he will get over the hump and be able to perform in crunch time, but the sooner he learns the better…..I want my ring dammit……

Now for the final installment before the real games begin……GAMER or HEADCASE…. the BULLPEN

BRIAN WILSON
Just a straight up wack job… Trying way to hard to be cool and funny….but there is something seriously off with this guy…I would hate to be on that LOST show with this guy, because you know he would be the first one looking to eat someone……Good thing he isn't on my plane, he is on the mound where he channels his RETARD STRENGTH into a high 90's fastball mixed with enough offspeed to keep the other team off balance….maybe it’s a blessing he is so strange, cause I'm sure hitters pick up on that weird ass vibe…..like he could just as likely strike you out as hump your dog…..
VERDICT: HEADCASE AND GAMER

JEREMY AFFELDT
Jeremy is the class clown, always looking for the spotlight and that’s cool cause he actually is pretty funny and of course his stuff is fucking filthy….He backs up his mid 90's fastball with a big bending curveball….still walks too many, but got the outs when he needed them to post a 1.73 ERA last year….don't expect a repeat of that performance, but do expect a solid lefthanded setup man out of the pen….
VERDICT: GAMER

DAN RUNZLER
Oooo boy, Leftie…. Throws Hard…. Mentored by Steve Kline and Jeremy Affeldt….this kid is going to need therapy….steamrolled through the minors last year, and the early returns are in and they are good…in fact he has the fantasy baseball community so worked up, it sounds like they just watched Erin Andrews Peephole Video
VERDICT: GAMER

GUILLERMO MOTA
Ugly, Throws hard, beans fat Brewers…what else do you need to know
VERDICT: GOON

BRANDON MEDDERS
Is he the one with Tatoos? No, oh sorry all these middling little white right handed pitchers look alike to me…. is that racist? OK, I guess so… I just hardly pay attention to journeymen at the end of the bullpen…..but as far as those types go, I think Brandon is actually pretty good……
VERDICT: VANILLA

WALDIS JOAQUIN
Now that we have established I am racist, I might as well point out that Waldis Joaquin is my new Merkin Valdez (who by the way was my New Felix Rodriguez). Black? Check… Hispanic? Check… Throws Hard? Check…..only this time his stuff has movement and he has a nasty slider…..of course as always, he needs to find the plate to be successful…. but time is on his side, welcome to the opening day roster
VERDICT: TO BE DETERMINED

SERGIO ROMO
After Romo returned from an early season injury, the bullpen just seemed to gel…giving the Giants a solid Right Handed Setup man (and getting Howry OUT of that role) Gotta love this kid, everything is weird, facial hair, and his stuff….
I can't make up my mind, you choose
Option A) his stuff BREAKS MORE than Freddy SANCHEZ'S BODY….
Option B) his stuff has MORE FUNK than Steve KLINE'S HAT……
Either way, the VERDICT: GAMER


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)