GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DODGERS 07/19

Why in the hell do I watch this shit….this isn't fun, this is exactly as Kuiper described……sweating palms, sinking feeling in my stomach…..man, I can't handle this ….but when the high flying circus act is done I look up and the scoreboard and we won……man, the way the Giants played I feel like we lost…… sloppy sloppy play…5 walks, gaffes in the field and on the bases and we still got the W……man, if they played like they should, this wouldn't have been a contest……But instead of putting on their game faces and playing focused championship ball, the Giants backed into the win relying on Houdini acts inning after inning…..the Giants are lucky that the Dodgers are cold, cause they played like shit…..some one needs to take hold of this locker room and give them some focus…..they play like they are all playing their first goddamn game in the majors……Your rival should bring out YOUR BEST, not this shitty brand of ball they have played…. I don't know what's going to shake them, but they sorely need some confidence against the Dodgers……and I don't care how many times you beat LA, if you play like you did tonight, you are still going to play tight sloppy ball….

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DODGERS 07/19

GAMEBALL

AFFELDT

Well someone had some fire and announced his presence with authority……Thrown into the fire …nursing a shirnking lead with the bases juiced to perhaps the most clutchy active player in the NL…..and with zero room for error, he stemmed the time getting Ethier to bounce out to end the threat…..and then came back out for the 8th and got the ball to the closer only giving up a 2 out bouncing single to Kemp….and in my favorite at bat of the night, just plain broke down Loney on a curveball for strike three….and as Loney walks back to the dugout, he glares at the mound looking pissed off at Affeldt for throwing something so nasty…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
NATE
The BOMB that extended the lead in the 4th was huge, lets hope the bench did for him, what it did for Ishikawa

BUMGARNER
The youngster in enemy territory had ice water in his veins….kept the Dodgers in check for 5 innings, but fell victim to the pitch count and was pulled in the 6th……but you know he woulda loved to stay out there for 200 pitches…..

WILSON
On a night where nothing was easy, why would Wilson be any different…..with a little help from a moving strike zone, alternated base runners with strike outs for the bases loaded save…….

PABLO
BIG double to score the games second run, and speared every line drive in a 4 block radius….

TORRES
Doubled and scored the Giants first run of the night

SANCHEZ
Got the ball in the air this time, and converted a BIG insurance run in the 8th…..

ISHIKAWA
Got on base ahead of Nat's Bomb, and walked and scored to lead off the 8th….

POSEY
Single to plate the first run of the game, and made the heady play getting on the umps to end the 8th on Belliard's swing and miss…..

JOKER

ROMO

Romo is no stranger to the Dodgers…..his bomb to Manny from early in the year is a staple of Dodgers television, working its way into highlight reels and commercials and the like…..so I am sure the Dodgers were salivating at the prospect of facing Romo again with the game on the line…..and he didn't disappoint…..turning a 2 out and man on first, into based loaded and the Dodgers "Captain Clutch" come to the plate…..INEXCUSABLE….how the FUCK do you walk JAMEY FREAKING CARROLL to load the bases???? and not only that, but on 4 straight pitches…..the game was over right there……just handed to the Dodgers on a silver plater……I walked away from the TV, feeling as if Romo had just screwed my girlfriend and kicked my dog……or maybe kicked my girlfriend and screwed my dog……whatever, that doesn't matter….all I know is that Romo's stuff isn't good enough to get by without control……and I don't even mean throwing strikes…he has to LOCATE his pitches…..and good god, how can he LOCATE his pitches, when he barely knows where homeplate is……sorry, but until Romo gets it worked out, and/ or Runzler comes back, the bullpen is now the weak link…….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PABLO
And on the other side of the ledger, made one of the biggest boneheads of the night going for the tag instead of the force, handing the Dodgers a run…..yes, the run shouldn't have scored, but Loney coulda easily started a rundown…..and sorry, the throw to first is more of a sure thing than ANY rundown……you see that play a fucking billion times, and a billion times the infielder throws the ball to first, like they are supposed to…..well, I guess Pablo found out why tonight…..

TORRES
Taking a page from the bonehead playbook, Torres forgot how many out there were in the 8th, getting doubled off first and ending a prime opportunity to put the Dodgers away….

FUCKING UMPIRES
Well, that strike zone wasn't as bad a Cuzzi, but it was moving big time…..to the benefit/ detriment of both teams……but the in the daily screw the Giants call of the day, they gave the Dodgers their second run on the tag play……good god, are any if these idiots paying attention????? are the just tired??? man, these umps are fucking killing us…lets just hope that Good Old Frank Robinson cracks some skulls….

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at MARLINS 05/04

What the fuck was THAT… Wasn't I just bitching about Rowand? Again, I get served up some crow as Rowand comes through …. What a strange fucking game…. I swear the Giants lost that game, but everytime the Giants score scrolls past at the bottom of the screen I see their name highlighted….and a 9 spot next to their name…..

And if you missed it, look at this emotional rollercoaster….



GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at MARLINS 05/04

GAMEBALL

ROWAND

Man, Rowand was all over the place tonight……Singled to get the Giants on the board in the 3rd, then in the 4th saved Nell from Snidely Whiplash's dastardly plot,. then singled to plate another run in the 5th, then in the 6th in what seemed like the play of the night Aaron laid out to make a amazing catch on a slicing shot in the left center field gap…then in the 7th, Aaron upped saved a baby from a burning building, but he wasn't done yet….Aaron still covered in bits of smoldering baby with 2 out in the 9th, hit a game tying homer to send the game into extras where the Giants would eventually win……what a night, good job Aaron….here is your GAMEBALL…..Let's name the baby Timmy Pablito Uribe…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
HUFF
The second biggest hit of the night, plating 2 in the top of the 12th to take the lead…..

SANDOVAL
Couple hits including the double to set up the game winner in the 12th

URIBE
Doubled in 2 runs with 2 out in the 8th to take a short lived lead, and added a single in the pivotal 12th

NATE
Couple more hits and keyed the first 2 rallies with leadoff singles…..

MOTA/ RUNZLER/ WILSON/ AFFELDT
Did what the Giants pen is supposed to do….4 solid innings…..2 hits 1 walk 5 K's and a Win and a Save……and a special tip to Wilson for letting Affeldt be on the positive side of the ledger…..

TIMMY
Was close to untouchable through the 5th….but The Freaky Franchise was visibly gassed in the 6th, making a number of location mistakes through his last two innings,… but he battled through and was in line for the win……until…….


JOKER

ROMO

Man… you thought life was hard as a closer…..try a setup man…..all the blame with none of the glory…..and Romo has turned in his 3rd game to forget tonight….and this was the worst so far…..with a 2 run lead, issues a 1 out walk….makes a hittable 1-2 pitch to Hanley…..then after getting Cantu to strike out…..first pitch belt high fastball……BOOM……man, with memories of Manny still fresh in our minds Sergio is making Mota look more and more attractive as the setup guy……but my faith is still here…..Come on Sergio, pitching is about consistency……all it takes is one belt high fastball and that’s all its takes to make you the JOKER……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
DEROSA
While the rest of the team was busy running around the bases, Derosa was busy trying to beat out double play grounders……

FREDDY SANCHEZ
Early May Return eh???? Lets do the math….December Surgery…..Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr….he's been on the shelf FOUR MONTHS for MINOR SURGERY…..now, we are just waiting for him to START a rehab assignment in Mid May HOPEFULLY???? add that to the cloud of secrecy around the initial surgery and something tells me that this "Minor" was a lot more "Major" then anyone let on….either that or he was Using Barry Bonds old Whirlpool


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DODGERS 04-18

Damn…. Everything seemed aligned to sneak out of LA with a series win with the Giants riding that momentum right through April and into the meat of the season….handing over a 1 run lead to the airtight bullpen for just another W…. but with one swing of the bat from that whiney dredlocked wanna be DH, and the Giants were sent to San Diego with their first series loss of the year…..but really, after a performance like that from the waste of payroll that is Zito, its hard not to be optimistic……..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DODGERS 04-18


GAMEBALL

ZITO

Damn, if he keeps doing this I might actually have to start liking him…. Barry looked as good as his Cy Young days from years ago….hitting spots like few pitchers can, and mixing pitches keeping the hitters off balance…..As the year began we all hoped he could duplicate his 2009, but as the year progresses I think he might actually be BETTER??? I mean this is 3 solid starts back to back to back….too early to say and as good as the stats look he did get some luck his way as some hard hit balls did turn to outs…..but still he isn’t walking anyone and isn't giving up the long ball…..and keep in mind Zito did have 2 stretches last year…..4 starts and 3 starts in a row where he went 6 or more innings allowing 3 runs or less……but still, what a way to start the season and lets hope this isn't just a hot streak……good job Barry, here is your GAMEBALL….. you jackass…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE
That Solo shot was too beautiful to be ruined…..but it was ruined by the 2 run shot by Manny by more by your own failure to come through with insurance in the 8th…not to mention your K with a runner on 2nd in the 4th…..but still when you get the only run of the day on a solo shot, I think that you at least get a tip of the cap

VELEZ
May not have had a great day, but in a close game at least he didn't screw the pooch on the bases or in the field…..2 K's, but hey he has a walk and saw 19 pitches in 4 Plate Appearances…..Maybe Bam Bam has gotten through to him???

JOKER

ROMO

SERGIO!!!
What the hell man…. Yeah I heard announcers talking about how Manny musta been sitting on that slider, easy to say after the fact….but nonetheless, keep that ball away from him and at least waste one at the letters….honestly thinking along with the pitch I was thinking backdoor changeup or even the tailing fastball on the outside was the pitch you wanted there…..he is anxious to pull the ball and he would roll over, and even if he went with the pitch its hard to hit out…… you went with the frontdoor slider on the hands and he twirled on you ass……woulda been a great win, but its April…..so live and learn Sergio…..nobody wants to be the JOKER…..


SMACK OF THE STICK :
TORRES
Andres, getting his chance in the sun turns in a game to forget…..getting picked off first in the 2nd costing the Giants a baserunner in a tight game, and then leading off the 9th he pops up his bunt as the Giants went out with a whimper…..gotta do better than that if you want regular playing time Andres…..

BOCHY
After sitting for 30 minutes as Torre gave us a Felipe Alou flashback changing pitchers……Bochy sent Zito back out to walk Garrett Anderson to lead off the fateful 8th…..didn't go to Affeldt cause he Garrett is 6 for 11 off Jeremy (as Jeremy is well aware 7:40 mark of video) and didn't go to a right hander, because of that unwritten book of baseball……




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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

Giants Bullpen 2010.....GAMER or HEADCASE Part 4 (Last Installment)

Giants Bullpen 2010.....GAMER or HEADCASE Part 4 (Last Installment)


Opening on the road is never as cool as opening at home, but in this case it's probably a good thing… I hear that last year Tim was a bit surprised the game got started so quick after the rain delay and was a bit unprepared on his way to an early exit…Tomorrow may not be huge in the big scheme of things, but for me I am watching Tim performance with the playoffs in the back of my head…. Opening day is about a big a adrenaline rush as you are going to get outside of post season and so far in adrenaline games, he has been less than stellar….Opening Day and All Star Game Last Year ….I don't doubt he will get over the hump and be able to perform in crunch time, but the sooner he learns the better…..I want my ring dammit……

Now for the final installment before the real games begin……GAMER or HEADCASE…. the BULLPEN

BRIAN WILSON
Just a straight up wack job… Trying way to hard to be cool and funny….but there is something seriously off with this guy…I would hate to be on that LOST show with this guy, because you know he would be the first one looking to eat someone……Good thing he isn't on my plane, he is on the mound where he channels his RETARD STRENGTH into a high 90's fastball mixed with enough offspeed to keep the other team off balance….maybe it’s a blessing he is so strange, cause I'm sure hitters pick up on that weird ass vibe…..like he could just as likely strike you out as hump your dog…..
VERDICT: HEADCASE AND GAMER

JEREMY AFFELDT
Jeremy is the class clown, always looking for the spotlight and that’s cool cause he actually is pretty funny and of course his stuff is fucking filthy….He backs up his mid 90's fastball with a big bending curveball….still walks too many, but got the outs when he needed them to post a 1.73 ERA last year….don't expect a repeat of that performance, but do expect a solid lefthanded setup man out of the pen….
VERDICT: GAMER

DAN RUNZLER
Oooo boy, Leftie…. Throws Hard…. Mentored by Steve Kline and Jeremy Affeldt….this kid is going to need therapy….steamrolled through the minors last year, and the early returns are in and they are good…in fact he has the fantasy baseball community so worked up, it sounds like they just watched Erin Andrews Peephole Video
VERDICT: GAMER

GUILLERMO MOTA
Ugly, Throws hard, beans fat Brewers…what else do you need to know
VERDICT: GOON

BRANDON MEDDERS
Is he the one with Tatoos? No, oh sorry all these middling little white right handed pitchers look alike to me…. is that racist? OK, I guess so… I just hardly pay attention to journeymen at the end of the bullpen…..but as far as those types go, I think Brandon is actually pretty good……
VERDICT: VANILLA

WALDIS JOAQUIN
Now that we have established I am racist, I might as well point out that Waldis Joaquin is my new Merkin Valdez (who by the way was my New Felix Rodriguez). Black? Check… Hispanic? Check… Throws Hard? Check…..only this time his stuff has movement and he has a nasty slider…..of course as always, he needs to find the plate to be successful…. but time is on his side, welcome to the opening day roster
VERDICT: TO BE DETERMINED

SERGIO ROMO
After Romo returned from an early season injury, the bullpen just seemed to gel…giving the Giants a solid Right Handed Setup man (and getting Howry OUT of that role) Gotta love this kid, everything is weird, facial hair, and his stuff….
I can't make up my mind, you choose
Option A) his stuff BREAKS MORE than Freddy SANCHEZ'S BODY….
Option B) his stuff has MORE FUNK than Steve KLINE'S HAT……
Either way, the VERDICT: GAMER


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> ROCKS at GIANTS 8/29

What a perfect day in San Francisco today. The temperature was not too hot with a cool breeze blowing to keep you comfortable with just a t-shirt and shorts. The day started off with the honoring of Jeff Kent with a plaque on the wall of fame outside of the ball park.

I wasn’t there for the whole thing, but I caught a little bit of it. Bill Neukom was speaking about why they were there today. Then he introduced J.T. Snow to talk about Jeff Kent. J.T. said that they played against one another in high school and then in the big leagues when Jeff was an Indian.

OK, that’s about all I stayed for and then headed to pick up my gym bag. Yeah, I know I’m not much fun. When I did leave the park and the ceremony was over I noticed a steady line of people obtaining Kent’s autograph. He seemed to look neutral with no smile as he was giving out autographs. I couldn’t really read his facial expression. Well he was signing autographs, but I didn’t notice any pictures.
Folks, he’s trying to get back on Giants fans good side and I think it’s working.

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> ROCKS at GIANTS 8/29

GAMEBALL:

BARRY

WOW…a shut out going into the 9th inning. Who saw this coming? Honestly, I didn’t. He had pitched great previously in his past few starts, but to throw a complete game shut out? It didn’t happen, but the fact that he tried his hardest in the 9th inning shows you he’s changed and he really has changed. The last time Zito got a complete game was while he was with Oakland in 2003 (thank you Krukow).

The pressure from Timmy and Matt maybe even how well they’re pitching is rubbing off on this “old man”. When he gave up a homerun to Brad Hawpe I’m sure everyone was thinking, “DAMN IT!”

Well Zito, you’ve made a believer out of me since I didn’t believe in you, but this year you’ve changed it around and made a lot more friends than enemies.

TIP OF THE CAP:
PANDA
Was it déjà vu? I could’ve sworn I’ve seen this before. Pablo hitting a homerun for his first at bat am I watching a game on Saturday? This is the second night he’s done do. He crushed the ball! Pablo took one deep and got it WET! You’ve now tied Felipe Crespo on the Splash Hits list. Merkin you’d usually ask for “More please!” and tonight they delivered just for you. If you missed it here it is: Hey kid, if you can’t run full speed it’s ok. You can be just like Barry Bonds. He was great and didn’t run fast either. Just keep hitting them out!

Rollinger
That catch to throw to Uribe to get the out. That was beautiful! You couldn’t have made it better! Off your knees to Uribe. Welcome to the big leagues kid. You’re going to do ok defensively, but just work on that offense.

WHITESIDE
You made a great double play. Strike them out, through them out. You threw out Clint Barmes and that was beautiful. You nailed guys again tonight. You hit a triple later on to clear the bags. Eli, you’re proving that you can make some noise as well. Keep up the good job.
If you missed the double play check out the link.

Here’s the triple to clear the bags.

JOKER

ROMO

So you got a save in your last outing. You’ve been doing sooooooooooooo good. Tonight you blew it. You almost gave the Rockies a chance to come back and beat us. You gave up two runs to make the game too interesting. Did you get Bob Howry disease from the beginning of the year? Were you channeling Matt Herges as a Giant?

AFFELDT
You had a ball ricochet off your left foot. You said you were ok, but obviously you weren’t otherwise you’d be able to close out the game. Instead Bochy had to pull you out and bring in Wheezy who almost didn’t get the job done. Great going you freaky soul patch face.

SMACK OF THE STICK:
NATE

Hey MEAT! Velez said he got the ball and yet you still had to come in to steal it from him? Do you know the rules of the outfield are? Centerfielder is IN CONTROL of traffic. Zito gave you a WTF look. WTF were you doing? BACK OFF! If you were to get hurt I’m sure a lot of Giants fans will go, “If he only let Velez catch the ball he wouldn’t be hurt. His arm could be making killer throws.”

By monkey (pinch hitting for merkin)

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/20 GIANTS at BRAVES

A little short this evening due to extenuating circumstances…..
GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/20 GIANTS at BRAVES

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

Well, wasn't exactly a no- hitter, but hell what did you expect? As we watched the broadcasters talk about duplicating Johnny Vandermeer, honestly who wasn't thinking….STFU……but hey, lets give em a break, its like the first chance they have had to use this material since the TV was invented….or at least Cable TV……So tonight was a very encouraging sign in my box….a bit rough with the breaking ball early on and a little sloppy with location of a couple of fastballs, Sanchez wasn't nearly perfect again…..but all in all, 6 innings and 3 runs ain't bad against a hot Atlanta offense….and that 8 to 1 K:BB ratio is pretty damn good for anyone, let alone Mr Inconsistent……looks like he will get another start……especially with RJ on the shelf for whats sounds like at least mid August…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
WINN
Picked up Rowand and Uribe with a clutch 2 out knock to score 2 in the second for the early lead…..collected 2 hits and looks to be warming back up…..

URIBE
Looked ugly at the plate, but made the heads up running play to leg out a triple on a pop fly McLouth lost in the twilight.

SCHMIDT
He may be in blue, but he was a good Giants….welcome back to the league….to paraphrase a great thinker…. here is to a Healthy Happy Schmidt…..getting the shit kicked out of him……

JOKER

ROMO

Hey Sergio, how's the knee…..wasn't that just yesterday…..oh….feels fine???? Not sure if I believe it……after giving up 12 hits in 13 2/3rds….that's now 6 Hits and 6 Runs without an out????? Sure the league adjusts….but THAT FAST!?!?! I don't think so……Dude, you are the linchpin of the bullpen, sit your butt down until you are 100%.... you don’t want to screw up your arm by pitching at 90%....this isn't football…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PANDA
Ouch…..Pablo was drinking the happy swing juice during the break…… the streaking slightly selective Pablo has turned into a whirling dervish with a bat…..hacking at almost anything that makes it to the plate without bouncing…..and a few I am pretty sure never made it to the plate…..

NATE
0 for 4 with 3 K's…….I knew you should have never watched that Todd Linden Tips and Drills tape……and who watched VHS anymore anyway……

AURILIA
Pinch hit = 1 more week…..just be glad it wasn’t a homer…that would have meant 1 month…..

PG&E
For knocking out my power delaying the posting of this

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