GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at REDS 8/18

Wow, we needed that one…..down by 4 runs early the Giants looked like they would again be bested by the Northern Kentucky Reds and Homer Bailey….. but they rallied for the tie and then took the game in Extras to keep pace with the Rockies and likely the Dodgers (who are winning)….but tonight was important for more than just the W……the Giants proved they could pickup their STAR and Ryan Garko was finally welcomed to the team

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at REDS 8/18

GAMEBALL

GARKO

I will say it again, I like this kid….yeah, I know I know, everyone thinks he sucks…..but I see a player that WANTS to be here, CAN take a pitch, and of course is a RBI MAN (tm Joe Morgan)… but seriously, how can you not love a guy who chokes up with 1 strike in an RBI situation, sacrificing power numbers for the good of the team……and as far as a platoon with Ishi goes, neither player has much of a split so forget that whole "mashes lefthanders" thing…..Now I still think Ishi could pan out and Ishi probably has a higher ceiling that Garko……but Ryan is better than he has shown so far and will be a solid contributor if given a chance….and today he came through in spades with a HUGE single back up the box to bring the Giants even at 5, and then in extras plating 2 runs to give the Giants the lead…..who knows what the future will bring, but I am not going to complain if Garko gets consistent playing time in front of Ishi as the Giants make a push for the postseason…..and Ishi with his slick glove and home run swing makes a good bench compliment to Garko……and for the time being Garko has earned a little respect from the fans and from the Giants leadership, so go ahead and jump on the bandwagon now, and lets hope he has turned it around…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
HOWRY
Speaking of turning it around, Howry actually looked fairly solid tonight in earning the win, Howry's stuff seems solid but the execution has been suspect…..unlike Garko I am not yet on the Howry bandwagon, as this is only the second consequtive solid performance in a high leverage situation….leave him at #4 out of the pen for now…..

AFFELDT/ ROMO
And the setup twins didn't just turn in solid outings, they were flat out filthy carving up the dangerous Reds lineup…..I will say it again, these two are the most critical performers for the Giants, if they pitch up to their capabilities the Giants will hang around…..if they don't then we are looking at guys like Howry late in the game……and I don't think anyone wants to see that…..

WINN
Maybe Bochy knows something we don't? Nahhhhh, but whatever the anguish over today's lineup was forgotten once Winn came up with the 2 out Double in the 6th……man, can we pray that Winn has something left in the tank….. we could use that year end 2005 Winn right about now…..

URIBE
Got the Giants on the board with a solo shot, and gave the Giants insurance with a sac fly……and the DP on the hit and run looked easy…..but I am sure glad that our "Star LF" was in Left and not 2nd……

FRANK
The Wonderdog comes through with a BIG Rally in extras…….


JOKER

TIM

Ouch….not going to win any friends tonight, but I call them like I see em and I try to be as myopic as possible with this…..and Giant #1 was sorely off his game today…..Fastball all over the place…..Changeup less that stellar…..and Curveball…..well….hittable……I am used to watching Timmy battle through issues with his stuff and come out with the Win, and thanks to some Giants offense, he almost did today……but it wasn't to be…..after back to back singles on 0-1 Curveballs, Timmy gave up the Double Steal and then got a groundball……after an intentional walk to load the bases, Timmy walked in the first run of the game on 4 pitches and then gave the Pitcher a fastball which was slapped down the line for 2 more runs…….sure that ball was probably foul, but it was too close for comfort and was SMASHED down the line……against a pitcher with an 0 for YEAR Tim shouldn't have even allowed anything near a hit…….then a couple innings later Tim threw what looked like a hanger to Votto for a bomb…..Krukow called it a changeup, but it didn't have that fall away movement we are used to and my guess is it was a bad Curveball……anyways, with or without stuff we are used to getting solid performances from our Franchise player, and he fell well short tonight……go get em next time kid…….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
PABLO
If I pissed a few people off with my selection of Tim, I will piss off everyone else when I smack Pablo…..looked lost at the plate most of the day including the pivotal 6th where he went to a full count without seeing a pitch in the strike zone, and then had whiff on the first pitch he saw in the strike zone….a changeup……

MARVIN HUDSON
Replays sucked, but that sucker was probably foul, and Krukow talking about "its where the ball goes over the bag" ok, but that was not a grounder, you can clearly see from the side view that the first time that ball hits ground is past the bag…..and maybe it hits chalk, but from the reaction of everyone around I have to believe that was foul…..

SCHIERHOLTZ
K on 3 pitches in his pinch hitting appearance…..and watched his playing time diminish with a solid game from Winn and 2 more hits from Velez

WOTUS
First past over when Baker left…..then past over again when Alou left……and now Fred Lewis is bringing in the lineup card for you???? Hell, you might as well go to Balldude camp and see if you can get some action that way….

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER 08/03 GIANTS at ASTROS

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What the fuck happened????…. The Giants felt like they were in control all day, and they were….with runners on base all day, a 2 run lead, and Cain on the mound….it feels like we won……but I am pretty sure we didn't……if you know Hockey, I feel like we just lost after out shooting the opponent 32-7 on three goals from the blue line on Nabokov…..and if you don't know Hockey, lets just say that, well…..this really sucks…….and Hockey is pretty sweet, (but not as sweet as baseball)

GAMEBALL and JOKER 08/03 GIANTS at ASTROS

GAMEBALL

GARKO

Welcome to San Francisco, too bad you saved it for Houston…..Garko looks like he is officially off the schneid on base 4 times going a 2 for 2 with a walk and a HBP, and he didn't even loose any popups on the roof at Enron, er Minute Maid Field……

TIP OF THE CAP :
SANDOVAL
3 for 5 with all 3 hits coming with runners on base, and the outs coming with the bases empty…….and you know what would really make up for that All Star Snub? How about a playoff birth and an MVP???? You go work on that will ya?

CAIN
Went the distance and the pen is rested entering Sanchez and Martinez days

MARTINEZ
Everything but official, Joe gets a chance at the rotation, and if the Giants are serious about the playoffs they are going to need his contribution

JOKER

ROWAND

Ugly day for Mr. Gamer taking a fat 0 for 4 with 4 plate appearances with runners on…..just 1 hit would have been the difference in this close matchup….instead we got 2 K's LOOKING and 2 easy bounce outs…….and the K's were UGLY both coming on 0-2 pitches and the 2nd one a fastball right down the goddamn pipe…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
LANSFORD
I have to give an assist to Carney on this one….you think at some point SOMEONE will go…..OK EVERYBODY HUDDLE UP….THE UMPIRE IS GIVING HAMPTON ABOUT 6 INCHES ON THE OUTSIDE CORNER TO RIGHTHANDERS, MAKE SURE TO PROTECT……maybe a vet says something, but at the very least the goddamn hitting coach……but instead no one adjust and Hampton took advantage with 6 K's including 5 looking and Rowand, Renteria, and Cain all getting strike 3 called on pitches off the plate……

FLANNERY
Ouch…..such a good day on Saturday making all the right calls….well tonight they weren't so good…..getting Renteria GUNNED at the plate on a BAD Throw 7 feet up the 3rd base line…..and STILL Plenty of time to nail him……and then on a Renteria double, Garko was held up at 3rd just as Carlos Lee came up with the ball out in that weird corner in Left......Sure Garko ain't exactly Carl Lewis, but then again Carlos ain't exactly Jesse Barfield…….

CAIN
Ouch, what can you say……He's one of the horses that makes this team go, and when you spot him a 2 run lead you almost expect a win…….and honestly, the reason I have him here is the 6th inning…..after striking out looking with the bases juiced and 1 out, he looked he was still thinking about the at bat when he gave up the triple and home to the 1st and 2nd hitters in the Astros lineup…….

WINN
Like that 1986 Chrysler you had…..once the payments ended, things just started breaking down…..just it wouldn't hit from the right side….then its already weak arm became pathetic…..soon it wasn't hitting left handed either…..just a matter of time before it stops running all together….the weird thing is Winn seems to be running as well as ever…..you would figure that would be the first thing to break down on a 35 year old outfielder

BIP
Don't know anything about curses……but I do know t\hat Bip sucks….and without that Giants fans good will to fall back on like JT Snow…….


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by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/28 PIRATES at GIANTS

GARKO? You sure about that Merkin……

By now most of you have read 100 different takes on the Garko Trade…. from the Rose Colored Glasses Homers talking about RBI men, to the Calculus Professors discussing VORP, WAR, BABIP, OPS, and UZR….. but I know most of you are waiting for ME to tell you what to believe….. Well folks, here's the way ME sees it…. Garko is a hitter with power…. not a power hitter, so don't even think like that…..if you look at the basic numbers he has been similar to Conor Jackson, and you wouldn't call him a power hitter…… Now talk of a platoon with Ishikawa is off base as far as I can tell… if you look at platoon splits look at as much data as you can get….for Garko look at career splits….for Ishikawa look at Minor and Major league data ….neither player has a large platoon split and looks like Garko is doing more damage versus Righthanders than Ishikawa….I have read some people to say this was a silly trade as the downgrade from Ishikawa's defense offsets most of the gain from Garko's offense…..I call bullshit on this one, I mean I love a good glove man as much as the next guy but how bad can Garko be? Does Garko like to play first blindfolded without a glove or something? He's a fucking 1st baseman, which means if you can scoop and can catch anything within falling distance you are doing your job….. those sweet plays Ishikawa makes are nice, but not 20 runs a year nice…and heck, you can always Double Switch with the lead (hear that Bochy?)…So I hear Garko is slower than molasses….gimme a break, I have been watching Molina and Mark Sweeney for 4 years…..from what little I can see in highlights and video he is slow, but not ridiculous…..and only 6 DP's all year…..and a career 23.7 PA with men on/ DP compared with a 22.6 PA NL Average, 22.9 PA Giants Average and 14.4 PA Molina Average ……so he is an offensive upgrade, how much of an upgrade is he?? Well, I consulted my ouija board my crystal ball and my magical slide rule of truth, and Garko is worth 0.144 more runs per game or about 1 run per week…..and that’s assuming Ishi can keep his numbers where they are, which is not a given….and think about it…..how many times have you found yourself late in the game thinking, "If the Giants could have scored 0.144 more runs in the 6th inning, we would have won this game." Well fret no more, cause Garko is here and he may not be the savior…. but he is already showing dividends…..just tonight the Giants beat the Pirates 3.022 to 2.878…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/28 PIRATES at GIANTS

GAMEBALL

AFFELDT

Hey, Affeldt has been well….money…..forget the 27 innings….that's 28 appearances without run…..that's fucking ridiculous…..some may say its easier to pitch 27 scoreless innings in relief, because you can come in with 1 or 2 outs already in the book and get pulled quick if you are in trouble….I submit to you that its HARDER in relief….28 times he warmed up in 12 different bullpens and had his stuff…….28 times he jogged to 12 different bullpens and was able to immediately find his groove…..I think of pitching like a golf swing, its about repetition, muscle memory, and feel…..If you play golf picture this in your mind….when you step out there on the first tee you are still getting into the feel of the day and have to break the ice mentally and physically….Affeldt just stepped up to the 1st tee 28 times and nailed drives right down the pipe…..chipped it up to the green…..and then drained the putt…..if you don't play golf… don't start…..its hard and expensive and time consuming……So here is your gameball Mr Affeldt, interesting celebration in the dugout, but to each his own, personally I prefer celebrating by taking a super soaker to any neighborhood cats I can find, but to each his own……

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
Tough one to be sure, but had to give the nod to Affeldt for the streak…..but Velez was the offense for the Giants today…..separated from the Giants coaching staff long enough that he remembered how to hit, and obviously loving the Major League per diem (just think of all the bird seed you can eat no Eugenio)…..we will forgive the miscue on the grounder…..and the scorer ruled it a hit anyway, and if its good enough for him……

LEWIS
What the fuck???? Again, good bat, bad glove syndrome strikes……ever get the feeling that Giants are the Land of Misfit Toys???

GARKO
Hit the ball hard twice…showed a nice stretch and scoop…...and actually CHOKED UP on the bat…..what is this little league?????

WILSON
We get on your ass when you make it tough, might as well tip the cap here when you make is easy…..and now, do the same thing 27 more times in a row and I promise we might like you too….

ZITO
Wasn't pretty at times, but it works for me… and BTW….Stadium gun showed 89 MPH for one pitch……Pitch F/X (independent of TV radar readings) Concurs…..so that means either there was a tear in the space time continuum…..or Zito is juicing…..you decide…..

BOCHY
GENIUS!!! Zito in between Cain and Lincecum? Contrasting styles help Zito out???? nope, that’s not the point…..Lincecum = Rested Pen, Zito = Tired Pen, Cain = Rested Pen…..hey, its not rocket science…..

JOKER

PANDA?

OMG, what the fuck happened……ok, I have been as guilty of the Pandazation of the 2009 Giants as anyone, perhaps even more guilty…..but what has it become….. it has grown out of control people, we have panda's for sale, people dressing as Pandas all over the park…..and now, sadly we have children who have never heard of Peter Criss inadvertently reviving the Catman look…..Heck, look at the kid……all he needs is a couple whiskers and a leather vest and I am pretty sure there are a couple stores on Folsom that could help him out……So kid……bust out the soap, and stick to hard plastic masks……anything else….well…hell, even Gay people thinks that’s way too Gay….

(click on thumbnail for larger photo, if you dare)



SMACK OF THE STICK :
GARKO
What the fuck kinda name is this???? Sounds like a European Small Forward who can pass and shoot threes…..

UMPS
How many fucking missed calls is that now…..like 4 is 2 days? at least???? so why did we get the AAAA crew??? I don't care how good he is at AAA, until they show they can call a game in the Majors, its just numbers…..

ISLAND of MISFIT TOYS
Ok, back to this thing……what a weird collection of players…..they are like the rejects with uneven buttons at the factory outlet……
Timmy too small
Randy too tall
Molina too slow
Panda too fat
Velez too skinny
Bowker with tiny arms
Schierholtz with the HUGE shoulders
Zito with the Nintentedo curve and the Buddist head
Sanchez with the nasty stuff and no head
Sadowski with the soft skull
Lewis with the sweet swing and butter fingers
Ishikawa with the sweet glove at an offensive position
Winn with the slappy hack from both side and noooooodle arm
Rowand taking a crap at the plate
Affeldt well…..hes a strange strange man
Romo, everything this kid does is crooked…..
Wilson….well…..52 cards short of a deck…….
Torres the old man with wheels and way too much energy…..
Now Garko, Stanford grad looks like a caveman,.,,
I could probably go on, but you get the drift…..
If you could take the best attributes from some of these players and combine them into a starting 9 you could have 9 hall of famers……


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