GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DODGERS 07-21

With Dodgertown reeling from the embarrassing loss on top of a losing streak, today was the perfect day to twist that knife into the Dodgers gut…..all the elements were there….a Fan Friendly lineup (ie no Rowand or Rent) a struggling Billingsly on the mound in front of a battered Dodger bullpen all being managed by MattingLOL (tm Baggs)….instead we got 9 innings worth of blah……Both teams played without incident, which probably did wonders for the Dodgers as they focused on the game rather than their Machismo

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> GIANTS at DODGERS 07-21

GAMEBALL

ZITO

Barry did just about all we could ask, pitching well enough to keep the Giants in the game versus a still potent Dodger lineup…he was a little shaky in the 2nd allowing a Blake homer, and the back to back singles before getting a comebacker Double Play to end the innings….he then breezed through the Dodger order for 3rd-7th innings, without allowing a Dodger runner past 1st base…..but then in the 8th after a leadoff single, a sac bunt and walk, he left the game swearing at no one in particular like a crazy homeless man on Market street….without the urine stench or cardboard Vietnam vet sign…..so, despite being tagged with the L, Zito turned in a solid performance, and the fire that has been indicative of the good Zito…..errr, I mean less sucky Zito…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
GIANTS FANS IN LA
I don't know how you do it….I just plain fucking hate LA and that goddamn stadium…..the sprawling concrete with little vegetation, the traffic seemingly on every street and at most hours of the day…..the people, who are more conscious of how much money you make and what you drive than who you are…..and then there is Dodger Stadium and Dodger Fans…..you don't really notice the smog unless….you look at the horizon……you are landing or taking off in a plane……you go to Dodger stadium……and man, when the heat starts to rise in the Summer and you get that inversion layer compounded by the Ravine compounded by the Stadium…..well, you get a big bowl of smog…..and you can not only see it as you look across the field,….you can feel it…..with the sun and the alcohol and the microscopic dirt clinging to your body as Dodger fans display what happens when you dilute the gene pool……it all makes me feel like Travis Bickle praying for a real rain…..perhaps a rain of 10 % bleach would do the trick

NATE
1 for 2 with a walk in 3 PA's…..really the only bat that didn't squander an opportunity of some sort …

JOKER

BATS

Shut down, and held to 5 hits….but they never seemed overmatched by Billingsly, getting chance after chance to tie the game but coming up short…..0-8 with runners in scoring position, including 0-4 from Sandoval and Uribe, but you cant hang it on those two as Torres and Posey and Sanchez had their chances as well….The Giants only struck out 3 times, and did not strike out at all with runners on base…not only that they didn't hit into any DP's and didn’t really make any blunders……but in the end, they couldn't find any holes, and only a handful of hard hit balls…..but still it was the kind of game where you felt like you were hitting……but still manage to put a big fat goose egg up on the scoreboard…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
UMPS
Looks like you fucked up last night too, at least it was to our benefit……

ROMO
After getting Kemp, gave up a humpback liner to Blake to hand a 2nd Earnie on Zito

TASCHNER
What a man will do to collect a big league check…..yes, he is a officially a fucking Dodger…..whats the matter Colleti,. Felix Rodriguez not available?

So, that’s it for the Dodgers for now, as today felt like a letdown game…..but the Giants travel to the Desert where they have hit well recently…so I don't expect a hangover from this emotional series……and they can afford to, as the DBacks pitching can be taken advantage of and despite a managerial change they are still blowing chunks with Gibson 6-10….and the Giants get a little lucky too, missing the Ace in Haren by a day, and facing that bullpen, which is not only historically bad, but pitched 13 innings in 5 days including 8 innings in a game that just ended…..


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RED SOX at GIANTS 06-26

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> RED SOX at GIANTS 06-26

GAMEBALL

BUMGARNER

4 runs in 7 innings is not exactly your run of the mill gameball performance…..but these were exceptional circumstances…..after months of hand wringing about Bumgarner being able to pitch in AAA let alone the Bigs…..against THE team with the most runs scored in the majors…..on National TV……in his first start of the year and second career start…..well…..Mad Bum did pretty fucking well…..couple location mistakes lead to a couple bombs…..but the stuff was there and the control was fairly good…..sure we didn’t see any 95MPH heaters….. but topping out at 92.4 and averaging 89.7 beats the crap outta the fastball we saw in spring that couldn’t break a plane of glass…….he took the L, but there was plenty of positives to take from this game and build on …..and more importantly what he showed today solidified a place in the rotation, which is now his to lose……

TIP OF THE CAP :
GIANTS BRASS
Figured they would call up a Bullpen arm, and Joe Martinez gets called up and announced and starter….and then pitches out of the pen…..pretty sure Joe and Madison were both told the truth from day 1…..not sure if the gamesmanship was necessary…..but kudos for the right move bringing Madison up to the show an throwing him in the fire….if anything he is better than Wellemeyer….and I don't think he had anything to learn at AAA……sorry, I believe that a player having success at a level isn't likely to adjust for adjustments sake….but if they get challenged and adjustment becomes needed to have success….well, the strong adjust and the rest fall off the radar…..in other words…..you need to be in the Majors to learn to pitch in the Majors……and welcome to the Majors Madison

PEN
Couple strong innings kept the Giants in the game……

PABLO
Yeah a 1 for 4, but SMOKED a couple balls….1 hit and 1 amazing catch from Cameron

GHANA
Hey, tip your cap…..they were the better team…..Sure the US had their chances…..but they still lack a world class finisher/ goal scorer….you can do everything else right….but until you get that elite striker…..well….you are lucky to get out of group play…..or so my soccer buddies tell me……

GIANTS FANS
Yes, Red Sox nation invaded…..yes, the game went their way…..but they far from took over….yeah, annoying….but far from a take over……

JOKER

BATS

Sure they score 2 runs…..better than 14 games where we scored 0 or 1…..but when you consider we faced the bullpen for 8 innings….its fucking awful……the bullpen is the soft underbelly of any team, and especially when the pen is pitching innings 2-6….you HAVE to do some damage against these guys….premier starter out of the game after an inning??? come on, you don't get chances like this often…..a championship team capitalizes on this kind of opportunities……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
TORRES
0 for 4 with 2 K's……I don’t know what to say, but I blame Rowand…..

POSEY
Yes, you shouldn't take a runner on 3rd scoring for granted….so good work plating those runs…..but when you got runners on 1st and 3rd and 1 out ….2 different times….and you are down multiple runs……well, you hope for better than trading a run for an out…..

BOCHY
OK Aaron's 3 hit day wasn't really that good….couple grounders through the left side and a slap double down the line…..now he is playing everyday??? when are we going to see the alignment everyone is waiting for????
RF Burrell, CF Torres, LF Huff, 3B Uribe, SS Renteria, 2B Sanchez, 1B Panda, C Posey…ok, maybe not the perfect setup, but the best we got offensively ….and we need offense more than anything right now……

MERKIN
Sold my tix for the game for a few bucks profit…..missing the series…..but had to work today anyway……and good god, haven’t been home last few weekends….lawn getting out of hand…..so yard work tomorrow……

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/22

And that folks is a 4 game slide…. and its been a team effort with the Starting Pitching, the Relievers, the Defense, and the Bats all taking turns screwing up the Giants hopes….time to panic??? well, not really…… you got what you got at this point in the season…….and brining up Hacker and/ or Posey and/ or Bumgarner in the near future wouldn't qualify as a panic move in my opinion…. it would be the smart thing to do……


GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/22

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Thought that whole hard luck thing was gone after 2009?? Nope, after 9 starts Cain sits at 2-4 with a 2.88 ERA…..last year….5-1 with a 2.40 ERA…..and in his 9th start last year Cain also gave up 1 run in a Complete Game…..but last year he got the win…….


TIP OF THE CAP :
I don't know………lets see……Hey …..Brandon Crawford is looking better in AA Richmond……after having his BA hovering in the .210 level early this year, he is hitting .314 with a .444 OBP in his last 10….


JOKER

BATS

Good god…..I know they aren't this bad….but days like this make you want to blow this team up and start over……the Giants never went through a true rebuilding phase…..never making a 100% commitment by trading anything of value for lots and lots of prospects and youth…instead they are relying on the draft, aggressive international signings and free agents to get the job done…… has done wonders for the pitching staff……but as the pitching staff peaks……the hitters are mostly expensive Free Agents and AAAA hitters trying to make the grade…..and when the one early blooming hitter starts slumping ……and the blue chip offensive threat is kept in the AAA to save a few bucks…….you get an offense that scares no one……and even AFTER Posey gets here……the Giants are going to need a lot more help to get late into October……and that help ain't coming from AA anytime soon….nope, the Giants are going to have to make that TRADE……..of course, easier said than done….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
HUFF/ F SANCHEZ/ BOWKER
Fuck…….OK, Huff I can deal with, since he has actually played better than expected at 1st…..but the Sanchez bobble when he had plenty of time….and the fucking BALLON throw from Bowker…….they both can do better than that……fuck……

OK, that’s all I got folks……those Giants aren't giving me anything to work with…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/03

Wow, Timmy is short, Pedro is short, OK we get it already….if you put Tim in black face and gave him an Afro they would be twins…. Man, that got old as fast as the Penny jokes…. and you can forgive me for being in foul mood as the Giants ONCE AGAIN squander a strong performance from Lincecum…..the Giants have allowed exactly 2 runs 22 times…..the Giants are an AMAZING 12-10 when allowing 2 runs, that’s so screwed up I had to go back and check the stats twice….. and get this 4 of those losses the 2nd run allowed came in extra innings….how the FUCK do you go 12-10 when allowing 2 runs???? Unfortunately if you have been watching the 2009 San Francisco Giants you know all too well…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/03

GAMEBALL

TIM

Well, Tim as just about as good as you can expect a human to be, all his pitches were working and he just made a few location errors and that all the Phillies would need. What can I say that hasn't already been said…..I will say this, I picked up a month old Baseball America that was sitting in my library (My W.C. Fields Memorial Library) It was the issue that ranks the best Tools in the Game…..Tim was rated best pitcher and Tim has the 3rd best Fastball in the National League, and the best amongst starters…no surprise really… but the part that got my jaw to drop was Timmy had the best Curveball in the National League….WOW…..just WOW, that's his 3rd best pitch and it’s #1 in the league??? When I think about it, I can see it as Tim has quite the yacker…in fact the yacker is what impressed me and the scouts the most when he was coming up to the Majors….but my god when your 3rd best pitch is THAT good, you know you got something special….and because you are curious….Best Fastball was Broxton followed by Brian Wilson and then Timmy….. Best Changeup? Santana, Hoffman, then Hammels…..I think you could put Timmy's change right in the mix with those three and have a good argument…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
DAMMIT….. hacking paid off for Velez with a leadoff Homer that made this feel like it was gonna be our game…..followed up with a leadoff Double in the 6th that JUST MISSED going out to Left Center and Eugenio had a big day……

MISCH
Finally got his first big league win for the Giants…..ok well technically FOR the Mets, but really helped the Giants out…..and at least Misch got run support……

ROMO
Clean inning in the 8th against the top of the Phillies order set up the disappointment of the 9th…..

JOKER

BATS

Cliff Lee was his dominant self again tonight, shutting down the Giants with 7 strong innings….wait, who's that???? Isn't that the guy that threw Zimmer to the ground a few years back??? I thought he retired! Dammit, it IS Pedro off the scrap heap with a fastball that could barely make a bowl of Jello Jiggle……
When Velez hit that Double off the top of the wall with Left Field my first reaction was DAMMIT just missed, but when I saw the speedy Velez on 2nd with the meat of the order coming up my reaction was, that's ok we will bring him in……and they when I realized the meat of our order was as rancid as horse meat left in the sun for 8 days, I realized my first reaction was the correct one…..Pedro was able to soft toss his way through the Giants lineup with 9 K's in 7 innings, but the Giants were not without their chances…..they had 9 plate appearances with a runner in scoring position…..they K's 3 times, walked 1 times, and only got the ball out of the infield one time…..which was a Deep but Easy Fly Ball was hit 10 feet short of the track to the deepest part of the ballpark…….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
MOLINA
Hate to pile on, but Poesy on the bench and suddenly Bengie is not only healthy enough to catch 9 innings, but also bat cleanup again….

BOCHY
Players Manager…Don't know if that is such a good thing….sure the vets are happy, but what does that mean for the kids…and winning…..and you got Posey up and chomping at the bit, get him in there…remember what happened the last time a Golden Spike Award Winner made his debut for the Giants…no not Timmy, I mean position player….Will Clark for Christ sakes…Yeah, I know he ain't Will, but they don't hand out those awards to just any dumbass…well except for Kip Bouknight... and I bet that Posey has a better chance to get on base that Molina…..hell, Michael Jackson has a better chance at having another hit then Bengie had tonight……(ok, didn't QUITE work, but too good not to use)

FINAL THOUGHTS
Hard to get too down after leaving Philly, our pitching staff was stellar and the hitting basically non-existent…..your 2009 Giants…..if the pitching was out there getting blown of the water I would be worried, but you actually come away from a 1-2 series loss feeling you could play these guys toe to toe in the Playoffs….if you can score more than 1 run a game and actually GET there FIRST…..

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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/01

Hey that Renteria Grandslam really was pretty fucking cool, wasn't it…. ok so that was over 48 hours ago, and I feel a little like that 8 year old kid about 1 hour after finishing my cotton candy…… no longer running around riding my high…. it has worn off and I am slipping into a post sugar rush coma which accompanies 2009 San Francisco Giants Road Trips….and the Giants road record is horrid, especially when considering what they have done at home… but really this road record is so horrid because of 3 nightmare trips where the Giants went a combined for 4-18…..of course these games count too, but the point is the Giants don't always go in the tank on the road…..The three trips in question are the season opening trip, the trip through San Diego and Seattle where they lost the 1st 4 games by 1 run, and the trip right after the All Star Break…..and the amazing thing is each of these trips were followed by 1 loss homestands……so heading into Phila and Milwaukee before coming home, the Giants are still in it basically no matter what happens…..cause if they tank you know they will make it up at home…….of course I might have jumped off a bridge by the time the Giants go 8-1 versus the Dodgers, Rockies and Padres…….

Here are home stands and the following road trips in chronological order…….
Home 2-1 then Road 0-6
Home 4-1 then Road 2-1
Home 4-2 then Road 4-2
Home 3-4 then Road 1-5
Home 5-1 then Road 6-4
Home 6-3 then Road 5-5
Home 7-3 then Road 3-7
Home 6-1 then Road 2-1
Home 2-4 then Road 5-6
Home 5-1 then Road 0-1

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PHILLIES 09/01

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

Well there is nothing wrong with that pitching….. freaking impressive….. going into Philadelphia, facing a MASHING lineup in a BANDBOX of a stadium, the Phillies needed a bloop and a hot shot grounder to score their only run of the night…. If I am Jonathan Sanchez I am feeling pretty fucking good about myself, despite the loss….. forget the No Hitter versus the Padres, going 6 solid with 8 K's versus this lineup on the road is a feather in the cap…. surely he would have loved the win, but that would require the Giants offense ACTUALLY SCORING at least 1 run…..but I don't want to bore you with the details…….tonight Sanchez was the man…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
PENNY
A easy man to hate ever since he was part of that 2003 Marlins team…. fat, ugly and slept with Alyssa Milano….she has money and fame already…..so either it was a pity fuck, or he is hung like a horse……I really don't want to think about that, so lets guess it was a pity fuck….. hey, good for him…. you work any angle you got…… but back to baseball…. as reported his fastball velocity is still there…..so what gives??? well since I don't make it a habit to watch Red Sox games, I will go by the data…..despite his heater, he has never been much of a strike out pitcher….. and since his sterling 2007, his K rates have been falling…..comparing data from 2007 to 2009, looks like he has a 85 MPH pitch with changeup/ splitter movement……looks like he has backed off usage of this pitch quite a bit down from 15% of the time to about 7% of the time…. and looks like he has been throwing something with slider movement (according to Pitchfx AND Baseball Info Solutions) that he is throwing about 4% of the time…..this coupled with 5% more curveballs and he has been a different pitcher in 2009…..maybe he has lost the feel of his changeup….maybe he thinks arm trouble is associated with his changeup, whatever it is he has changed…….all that being said, he is still young and throwing hard, so he could flash that All Star form again at anytime…..and if he ends up a wash out as a pitcher, he is at least a valuable expendable big body with a good fast ball who hates the Dodgers, all valuable attributes if a fresh beanball war breaks out……and I would love to see a Padilla v Penny matchup in September……ouch…….

AURILIA
Did his job with a single hooked into left to lead off the 9th……and please kids, don't try that swing at home……Rich is a "professional hitter"…..

MEDDERS
Tired arm meltdowns aside, this kid has been lights out and gives the Giants a 4th arm in the pen that can shut them down……

JOKER

BATS

Bats suck, that is all………..




What…. if they mailed it in, why can't I?.... ok, ok I AM a professional so I will get it done tonight….ok a professional by day, an amateur by night (not talking about my porn career, so get your mind out of the gutter)…..The Giants had their best scoring chance in the 2nd inning with a Garko leadoff double….but that was the last time a Giants would reach 2nd base….so the Giants were 1st pitch hacking right??? well, amazingly enough the Giants only swung at the 1st pitch 9 times in 29 at bats…..and only 5 times in the first 7 innings ….that's a great tactic versus a pitcher with shaky control but unfortunately that wasn't Hammels tonight as in those 20 at bats theGiants took a 1st pitch called strike 12 times…..add that to 23 total swing throughs and it was an ugly night for the Giants offense….I won't keep harping on this, it was a case where the Giants hitters, as shitty as they are actually looked like they had a plan, too bad it was as well conceived as New Coke…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
TORRES
Pinch Runner getting picked off (officially a caught stealing) is the definition of suck….welcome back to the bigs, now go watch some film……

SABEAN
That Sanchez trade looks worse by the day, and Garko ain't exactly been a difference maker either….Rohlinger??? really???? I mean, the kid got a big hit on Sunday but I GOT to believe that Frandsen would be a better piece right now….. are you afraid of poisoning the clubhouse???? hell you brought Penny in, so it CAN'T be that…..just swallow your pride and bring him up already…..

BOCHY
yeah Leftie v Leftie…..but I would have loved to see Nate and/ or Ishikawa in their for defense AT LEAST….and with Hammels best pitch being that Changeup away, a Leftie will actually take that pitch out of his arsenal…..Career OPS v Right = .706 Left .723… you can split the stats a few different ways, or take different stats….but the bottom line is that Lefties on the whole don't have a significant disadvantage to Hammels who lines up on the right side of the rubber, comes over the top, and features a changeup…..about as "Unfunky" as Lawrence Welk (can you believe I felt the need to link Welk's Wiki?

FINAL THOUGHT
Well the Giants have actually stayed relevant into September… and despite the emotional swings of the season they still have an outside chance at the postseason without significant damage to the farm system…. our fate will stay in question at least into our next homestand where we get 9 games, 6 of which are against the teams ahead of us….if we can manage a 2-4 trip, we should still be in position to stay relevant into the final weeks of the season….and of course, the Rockies end the season at the Dodgers in what could be a battle for the division…..the bad news??? The Giants end the season in San Diego, where the Giants have dropped 6 games averaging less than 2 runs scored per game…..

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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at METS 8/14

What can you say, the Giants were shut down again tonight….what possible new spin can be put on this same old shit????? I mean what can I say????
The Giants couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat?……no, too old and tired……
.The Giants couldn't score if they were Pablo Escobar at a Coke Whore convention?….no, used that one already……
The Giants couldn't score if they were a 10 year old Macaulay Culkin at a NAMBLA meeting?…..no, too creepy…….
The Giants couldn't score if they were Lindsey Lohan on GHB at an Indigo Girls concert….no, too hipster……
well whatever, I am out of metaphors, all I know is the Giants are in a funk so deep that Boosty Collins is on Bass……(HEY, not bad!)……..

But as bad as the Giants were tonight being shut out for a Major League Record 57th straight time (I didn't look that up, but I have the feeling that's right) the Rockies and Dodgers both lost and all that really happened was the loss of one day on the calendar…and really no matter what happens this weekend the season will go on and the Giants will continue their slow march towards Death….no, sorry I mean….the series in Colorado

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at METS 8/14

GAMEBALL

ZITO

On the heals of the Sanchez No-No, Zito stinking up the joint versus the Third Division Padres to end the first half on a sour note……the "Great Baseball Mind Tim Kawakami" made the suggestion that perhaps the Giants would be better served DFA'ing his ass (paraphrased) which just helped chum the waters as the fans circled sensing blood.Who cares if Zito was one start removed from going 8 1/3 scoreless…..He was a chump and the root of all evil, he was Skeletor, Gargamel, and Tommy Lasorda all rolled into one…..Certainly Barry needed to make an adjustment…..so after consulting with his agent and publicist then decided it was time to say good bye to twitter land……and the adjustment has worked wonders…..since then he has put up 6 solid to decent starts in a row….Although hardly an ace, Zito has done well just avoiding a poor performance….in fact the worst performance Zito has put up in the second half was behind the microphone (click at own risk) So good job Z, keep plugging and if you make money playing music, you will certainly be overpaid there as well

TIP OF THE CAP :
RENTERIA
Actually got a couple hits…..somehow I didn't see them so I don't think they actually exist…….

MILLER VALDEZ
Did admirable work keeping the Mets from showing the Giants how runs are scored…..

JOKER

BATS

The offense was really bad……HOW BAD WAS IT (in a cheesy 70's game show audience style yell)……Well folks…. the Offense was so bad, that BLANK……
Bow wow ba ba ba ba ba ba Bow wow ba ba ba ba ba ba (70's game show music)
The offense was so bad, that…..Molina was #2 in your lineup with pitches seen ….
The offense was so bad, that my fantasy baseball team just tried to pickup any pitcher the Giants could face over the next few weeks…….
The offense was so bad,…. that Velez was #1 it pitches seen at 19 but has an 0 for 4 with 2 K's…..
.The offense was so bad, that a pinch hitting Fred Lewis got the only walk of the day…….
The offense was so bad, that Rowand went 0 for 3 with 3 K's on 10 total pitches………
The offense was so bad, that Bobby Parnell just became the solid choice for Cy Young……
The offense was so bad, that the Giants never got a runner past FIRST base……

The offense was so bad, that Johan Santana's ERA just dropped a full point just by being in the same stadium……..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
METS
What the fuck is going on……turn of the century Giants uniforms with a 69 in center field and Mr Met on the sleeve???? What exactly are we celebrating…..was it "any year except for this one" night at the park?? I was half expecying Ron Swoboda and Christy Matheson to throw out the first pitch……What's tomorrow….Celebrating 1986 AND 1962??? Maybe Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry can snort lines with Marv Throneberry…….

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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/22 GIANTS at BRAVES

You know this is probably for the best…. the Giants are still a team in flux that perhaps is competing too early for its own good. At the end of the day, when you kick the tires on this team……..whatever…. it may be true, but after watching this team go nowhere for 4 years you can't blame us for dreaming a little about a playoff Rotation of Tim Cain and "insert Giants pitcher with best recent start here." This team got chewed up and spit out by the Braves newly minted offensive machine….. Of course our cold spell only has us 1 back in the loss column and with this pitching staff you can bet the Giants hang around at least in the fringes of contention…..and with this offense you can bet they don't run away with it……

GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/22 GIANTS at BRAVES

GAMEBALL

BENGIE

The days of "Big Money" may be behind us, but at least someone on this team is actually looking like a hitter. Since the break Bengie is 5 for 15 with 1K and 3 walks…doubling his season walk total to 6 and at least according to the stat sheets those were *cough*unintentional *cough cough* walks…. but seriously Bengie is still hacking but is making solid contact for a team that can barely hit it out of the infield……and thanks to Bengie we weren't talking about a no-hitter going into the 7th……on a lean day that is worth a gameball…..

TIP OF THE CAP :
BRAVES
Not exactly a powerhouse, but I have always admired the way this team is run…..and two things the current Giants regime can learn from…….first the Braves aren't afraid to make a move, usually shipping off marginal prospects for Major Leaguers (McLouth for 2 P + Gorkys), and shipping off Major Leaguers while they still have value for Major League ready prospects (Renteria for Jurrjens + Gorkys)…even if you make the occasional overpay (Teixeria from Texas). there is truly no rebuilding for the Braves, just retooling….second, when the Braves give a prospect a shot, they usually get close to 200 AB of steady playing time before the plug is pulled…..this year it was Jordan Schaffer… who ended up flopping, they did the same thing with Kelly Johnson a few years ago…sometimes it works, sometimes it don't but find out what you got, and if it don't work move on without second thoughts…….

URIBE
What the hell, 2nd time in 2 nights……1 xtra base hit and 3 K's…….sustainable……and as far as Kuiper was concerned that was a home run…..good enough for Kuip, gooe enough for me…..

HOWRY???
Down by 4 runs late in the game, its BOBBY TIME!!!

JOKER

BATS

What ya expect???? So, sure I could break this down scientifically….. but that ain't gonna work for tonight….. I got to vent here….
ROWAND….looks like he is taking a crap, and recently that’s exactly what he has been doing at the plate…..pure crap…….loves to hack, loves to pull the ball, has been known to swing and miss at the same pitch 3 times in a row….
WINN…..a remarkable switch hitter with the same spastic hack from both sides of the plate…..still manages to put the ball in play enough times to get a decent batting average…….good when he is lucky…..sucks when he's not……
SANDOVAL…. dude…..this is one funky funk….just throw the ball in the dirt 3 times and he will swing……and he might hit one…..
RENTERIA……1 word…..SLOW……..
ISHIKAWA……hey, you think this is easy…..you try to hit the ball with your head moving around and your eyes half closed (oh come on…..some of my best friends are Asian….like ME)….
MOLINA……hates running the bases so much he swings for the fences every and bat and makes sure he never walks…..
NATE……nice powerful swing made for line drives….too bad it only works when he has been sitting for a couple days……
LEWIS……see NATE
URIBE……the best follow through on a pulled ball since Santiago's corkscrew…hard loud contact….assuming he makes contact…..
DOWNS……clearly outplayed Franny with his .186 average…..
BOWKER……still young enough and fresh enough that I am not jaded…..yet……
There you have it folks the Giants Offensive attack…..
If you think about it, they are really only 1 bat away from a pretty good offense…..too bad that bat is Bonds…… 6 years ago……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
DUSTY
Just be glad you aren't a starting pitcher on a Dusty Baker team…..just when you thought you were overworked…..you get pulled with the bases juiced in a tie game….and the reliever gives up the slam on the first pitch…….good work Dusty…..

MANNY
Speaking of the slam, looks like Manny is alive an well…..and soon on Ebay
Teaching the kiddies everywhere, if you juice not only do you get breasts you can have your very own doll…..let the hypocrisy begin!


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GAMEBALL

BURRISS

After a scorching spring, Burriss was the surprise winner of the 2nd base job over fan favorite local boy Kevin Frandsen……and after spending the first month of the season on the interstate many inside and outside the organization were looking at swapping the young secondbaseman…….but a funny thing happened on the way to Fresno…….
in fact you may not even have noticed……but Manny has started to hit…….
Since hitting ..161 with a .235 OBP over the first 19 games, over his last 9 games he has posted a .448 with a .515 OBP raising his average to a decent .253 including 2 of the Giants 4 hits today,……..sure, he probably won't ever wow anyone with his hitting ability……but if he keeps hitting the Juan Pierre way, he may just stave off Frandsen a little longer


TIP OF THE CAP :
PANDA
Well….nobody on the field deserved it, and at least without Panda in the lineup we proved our offense is beyond pathetic



JOKER

BATS

My God…….Sorry Krukow…….Stults was NOT fantastic…….his shutout was not a product of mixing pitches and hitting his spots…….quit blowing sunshine up our asses……The Giants FLAT OUT BLEW IT…….NUMEROUS 90MPH FAT FASTBALLS were left DOWN THE MIDDLE BELT HIGH……only to be fouled back, popped up or grounded weakly at an infielders…….
And just to make sure it wasn't my imagination, I extracted some data from Brooksbaseball.net and sure enough……fastballs in the happy zone all day long……
Good god, I don't think this offense can get any worse…….
If I am Carney Lansford, I take them all out in pregame tomorrow, and have them hit balls off a tee…..at least they would LEARN WHAT IS FEELS LIKE TO HIT A BALL HARD FOR ONCE….freaking JOKERS……


SMACK OF THE STICK :
SANCHEZ
Dude, you've been around long enough and logged enough innings....the whole wild thing is getting old....time to get your shit together and throw strikes......no need to nibble with stuff like that.....this is the big show....prime time.....and there is plenty of competition for your rotation spot coming on hard......Sure he's still young, but what...you gonna find your control at 30????
And then the mental breakdown on the rundown.....sure, backing up home for a throw, but as soon as the ball goes to first and a run down ensues, you getter get your ass over there.....what, were you expecting the slothy equipment laden Molina to go cover?????

Green Dots are Fastballs
The Large Square is the strike zone according to Pitchfx
The Smaller square represents the middle "1/2" of the plate, and the top "1/2" of the strike zone…….count em…..18 fastballs at 90MPH were in the "happy zone"……that’s 18 of 38 Fastball strikes were up and over the middle……a REAL offense woulda whacked him all over the park…..Stults certainly wasn't keeping the ball low OR hitting the corners……




PS…What the FUCK is up with these two douches????
Things can't be so bad you have to cover your face……with what appears to be a paper towel and a doo rag………Don't want to be caught on TV rooting for the Dodgers????
Or did you just cut out from Work a little early and don't want to get caught……either way…..pretty fucking stupid….