GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> ROCKS at GIANTS 05/31

GAMEBALL and JOKER ==> ROCKS at GIANTS 05/31

GAMEBALL

PANDA

So when I was at the game on Saturday I was sitting near third base and some idiot in like the 3rd row was blathering in a squeaky slurry voice…."Get a Pancake…Donut you like" or some stupid shit….couldn't really understand what the hell he was saying….but it was clear he was heckling our own 3rd baseman….Sure there is a lot of worry with the Giants faithful….talk about his Weight, talk about his eyesight, talk about pitchers adjusting to him…..well….the last one I believe….but I also believe that Pablo is good enough to work out the kinks and adjust back….good god, he is just now hit the 1000 Plate Appearance mark…and he is just 23 years old…..and by the way, he had 3 hits to bring his average up to .293 …..he'll figure it out….

TIP OF THE CAP :
HUFF
Another game of solid D in left and did the best job of making Ubaldo work seeing 25 pitches in 4 AB's and drawing the only 2 Giant talks of the day

BAUTISA
DAZZLING effort for a scrub at the end of the pen…..could be working his way into more high profile work with the numbers he is putting up……

BOCHY
For not sitting Posey versus Big Bad Ubaldo….gotta let the kid see the very best for him to keep growing….and Ubaldo….well……

VETS
No, not the guys Sabean gives bloated contracts to….US Armed Forces Veterans…..If you love the US and love your freedom….you gotta thank the guys and gals in the line of fire…..yeah, I know…..I'm not a flag waver either…..but you gotta love America….

JOKER

GIANTS ORG

So DeRosa went 0 for 4 with 2 DP's…..in SINGLE A BASEBALL…so the Org is trying to get him to play THROUGH the weird wrist thing…..but something like that is not only going to bother him physically but it has burrowed its way deep into his skull….. ..Now I don’t know exactly what the heck is wrong with the wrist but it looks pretty nasty… click and watch video if you haven't seen it do its thing (1:25 part of video)….I say get some staples and glue in him and let him rest up for next year……but more importantly HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS WHEN YOU SIGNED HIM…..good god…..the more I follow this team, the more I think its being run by JOKERS….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
UBALDO
OK, the Giants are the pitching team….the Rockies have the sluggers…..so what the FUCK is Ubaldo doing??? If you weren't familiar with his stuff before…..well, you should be now…..an NASTY 98 MPH TAILING fastball that he could probably throw 100% of the time and end up with a sub 3.00 ERA…..but he also adds a Slider Curve and a Split and can throw them all for strikes….when this fucker has his control he is the best pitcher in the league and give the Rockies the ACE every team wants…..even Lincecum on his best day isn't going to compare to the raw nasty of Ubaldo….fucker……

LINCECUM
Hey, not going to bag on Timmy today….I will left everyone else dissect and diagnose what is wrong with Lincecum……hey, this isn't the first time this kid has had a control issue….going into his senior year of College, control was the big hurdle….now he has been light years away from that raw kid……but remember that was still just a few years back and pitching is all about feel…..and he isn't feeling it……..and although his control has been erratic, the stuff is still there…..and remember this time last year….. Timmy was 4-1 with a 3.01 ERA and 1.22 WHIP….this year so far…..5-2 with a 3.14 ERA and a 1.19 WHIP…..


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational thought sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/30

What a glorious day at the yard….sun was shining and not a single goddamn unicorn in the place…..shout out to Clash Fug and Croix, nice to see you all…..of course when I did see Croix I almost ran her over as I had a box of ballots obstructing my view as I lugged them back to car for Monkey to punch…….and shout out to OldDad….sorry you didn't make it, hope you car is in one piece…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/30

GAMEBALL

TORRES

Now, my man crush for Andres is now well known…..but lets get this straight….I most certainly DO NOT have a poster of Andres on my bedroom ceiling…..the life size blow up doll maybe….BUT NO POSTER…..but can you blame me??? he AGAIN had a day with 4 hits in total including the game winner to send everyone home…..so good work Andres….keep it up…and its always nice to see those underdog stories…….

TIP OF THE CAP :
POSEY
After day one of the Posey Era, the question persisted…..was he a God…a Demi God….or perhaps just a second cousin to God…..well, after Day two that question has been answered…POSEY IS A GOLDEN GOD……now we can argue further….if Posey is a God, is he so powerful that he could throw a pitch that he himself could not hit? only St Thomas Aquinas knows the answer for certain…and I bet he is doing write in ballots for Posey to the All Star game as we speak…..

HUFF
Solo Shot gave us life and single in the 9th set up the tie…2 hits on the day, and they both counted in the final score…..and HEY didn't do anything stupid in left…..sure has a noodle for an arm though…..

WILSON
Scoreless clean inning for the win

BENCH
Uribe/ Ishi/ Cain/ Whiteside…3 for 4 and 2 runs scored and of course a 2 strike sac bunt for Cain…..

MERK/MONKEY
So we did our little Buster Posey chant for a second day in a row….and got a strange reaction….Applause from the section??? and not just a smattering of applause….clearly a BUNCH of people were entertained…..yeah, kinda cool…but also kinda embarrassing….I mean…..how can you do that again??? it was WAY too popular the first time…..nothing to see here people….move along…..

JOKER

AFFELDT

Dude…..the ROCK of the PEN last year….with that sizzling fastball and big ass bitting hook from the right side…..but today….well, his old demons came back to haunt him…once a blue chip Royals Starting pitching prospect….never found the plate enough in his youth to stick….and after bouncing around he finally seemed to find a home in the pen the last few years…..but today was just fucking abominable,…..18 pitches…4 strikes…..yes, 4 of those balls came on an intentional pass……but Affeldt was just plain out of control….and you don't last in the show if you can't put the ball over the plate when the pressure is on……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
BOCHY
I don't like the intentional walk to Reynolds for 2 reasons…..first Reynolds is a HACKER…..yes he may go deep….but its MORE likely he will HACK…..and second is Affeldt was all over the place…..suddenly he is going to get the feel back and deal????....and hey maybe Reynolds takes a wild hack at something out of the zone……and honestly, in general I don't like the move of EVER walking the bases juiced…..thats the only time a pitcher MUST ABSOLUTELY throw strikes and EVERYONE KNOWS…..why do you think everytime you see the graph of someones numbers with the bases juiced they are always hitting like .400+……..well OK, the real #s...league is hitting .256 on average…and .296 with the bases juiced…..2009..254 v 265 with the bases juiced…..

MOTA
Got out of the Affeldt jam with 1 run scored…..but then gave up one of his own the next inning…..

PABLO
Bad day, but at least he beat out that ball to tie the game…and of course provided the laughs with the rally caps….


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Man I love this kid…..back in the darker days of recent Giants history, there were a pair of young guns that gave Giants hope…..well, Noah is long gone…but that Horse of a kid from Alabama is as rock solid as ever…..called up at the tender age of 20, Cain shouldered a full load ….and the now 25 year old already has 4 consecutive years of 30+ starts and doesn't look like he is slowing down anytime soon….this kid is a throwback to the days when players didn’t change team every other year and the guy in the other dugout was your sworn enemy….heck I bet that first day off All Star Festivities last year Cain just sat there staring at his National League teammates thinking…..what the fuck….you are the enemy…..I can't talk to you……Good job Matty on that 1 hitter…..what a fucking performance…..just when Timmy is hitting a bump and the Giants rotation needed a jolt…..Cain came up BIG TIME….

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Too much man love for 1 guy yet?... Hey Bochy…..How about a few starts in CENTER…….

PABLO
PANDA POWER…..nice to see a bomb from the big boy,……add 3 RBI's and I think he deserves a nice big helping of Lasagna…..Hey, another HR tomorrow and Post Game meal is on me

HUFF
Little power, little patience…..how did this guy suck so bad last year?

GLASS FREDDY
Couple big knocks, couple nifty plays…..and no time on the DL…..by the way….how many games does he have to stay healthy until he can shake this reputation…..I am guessing……4 years without missing a game……otherwise…….HEY….You don't get a second chance to make a first impression….I saw it on a gum commercial, so it must be true……

JOKER

PAT

Man…..one of my favorite heckle targets in Left Field……the overpaid……low BA 1st PICK OVERALL……well, in reality he was better than his stat line seemed…….legitimate 30 Homer Power……75-100 walk guy with a 250 BA……a nice solid player in the lineup……but how can you ever live up to that 1st overall pick if your name ain't ARod or Griffey….. Chipper did pretty well….Strasburg looks to be the real deal……but unless you put up a HOF career you are a disappointment…..well Burrell won't have to worry about the Hall any time soon…..he is just struggling to stay in the league with this whole new "defensive mentality"….but if he does sign with the Giants….its not a question of IF he hits in AAA…..believe me, he will RAKE the PCL……so come on Giants, what have you got to lose….34 year old hitter with a career OPS of .834.. that's better than ANYONE on the team……after a tuneup Give Burrell a shot in Left and shift Torres over to Center, we don't have anyone of note in Center anyway…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROWAND
And when you get the pine, you can show that you are a team player and shut the hell up……you want to play that bad, then ask for your release and give up the rest of that contract
NATE
Hard play….but makeable…..especially for the gold glove caliber defensive player like you….see how I spun that into a compliment?? Gotta be careful….he's a big mean man…Dad knows what I look like….might kick my ass ;)……

MERKIN
Wasn't it just a few days ago some JACKASS was saying we should trade Cain for a few minor leaguers or something?.....oh yeah, that was me……and maybe this is the perfect time…….

REYNOLDS
Got the lone hit and a HBP for the only two blemishes that stood between Cain and his Perfect Game….of course they happened so early in the game, the drama and pressure wasn’t there….so who knows if he ever gets close with the pressure…..but playing what if sure is fun

CARLOS ZAMBRANO
Apparntly…..didn't need emergency surgery…..in fact….probably just too many Italian Beef Sandwiches….which begs the question….exactly HOW MANY Sandwiches do you have to eat before you get sent to the hospital to get tests to determine if you need surgery????


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> NATS at GINTS 06/25

What a fucking miserable brand of baseball the Giants are playing…… just a few weeks ago they were a strong pitching team that was getting just enough hitting……now not only are most of the supporting offensive cast struggling…..but your two big stars Pablo and Timmy are struggling……a team that had problems beating the Padres and now having a problem beating anyone home or away……90 wins???/ not the way this is going…….hell, they would be lucky to finish .500 the way things are going……

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> NATS at GINTS 06/25

GAMEBALL

URIBE

At least Uribe has delivered as expected with his team leading 6th homer of the season to get the Giants on the board…..and funny how Renteria was healthy just long enough to give Uribe a couple days off……just to go BACK on the DL and make 3 times what Uribe is making…..and at the end of the season wonder who gets more AB's…. the "Starting Shortstop" or the Utility Infielder…..


TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Hey, he ain't superman…..but a triple and a run scored is more than we could muster all last weekend……

NATE
Welcome back to the land of the living…and of course nailed the runner by a mile at the plate……...now start hitting!

ROWAND
2 hits…..grumble mumble

JOKER

TIMMY

TIM….what the hell man…..you are the FRANCHISE……that means that back to back poor outings kill your team…..and something strange is going on….from the lack of command to the inattention to the runners……and in the first inning that weird ass play where you missed catching a return throw from Huff???? He may say the blisters are no big deal, but this kid is distracted and he needs to get it straightened out quick….When Timmy is dealing the Giants are a marginal contender……if Timmy AIN'T dealing….the Giants are a contender for a top 10 draft pick in 2011……so get that blister shit taken care of…..don't just sweep it under a rug…..who knows, maybe Moises can pee on it for you

SMACK OF THE STICK :
FSANCHEZ
Dude……192/.185/.269……I liked you better when you were hurt

GOOGLE
What the Fuck is this all about?


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> NATS at GINTS 06/24

The object of the game is simple…..hell the object of almost ANY game is simple…score more than the opposition…..of course that means you ACTUALLY SCORE……and lately the Giants have had as much luck scoring as Ray Ratto (stole that one) at a lesbian bar……..but that all changed tonight in a magical magical inning where the Giants actually got consecutive hits, but runners actually touched home plate without being "put out" ……now, after consulting the rulebook….I am pretty sure that give the Giants a run…..but honestly, I am a bit dizzy from excitement and its been so long….I really can't remember what a Giants run looks like…..

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> NATS at GINTS 06/24

GAMEBALL

TOAD

Well, pitching we got……so the Toad gets the GAMEBALL not just for his arm but for his BAT…..
Molina and Rowand have already made the first two outs in the innning……0-2 count on the pitcher…….curveball on the outside corner and a little flick into Right….and so it begins……yes the Toad got the rally started and then came around to score the Giants first run in 57 games…….amazing….

TIP OF THE CAP :
GLASS FREDDY????
Shot a double down in the corner to score…..multiple runs in a single play??? No pretty sure that’s not allowed…..I think Renteria was sent back to 3rd on the play……not sure…..

RENT
Ugly, but put bat on ball to get the Giants on the board…..

PANDA
Ringing Double off the Left field wall to make it 4 on the board….

TORRES
Proof that Bochy not only reads GB and JK, but also takes managerial tips from the MERK =) (good god, I and talking about myself in the 3rd person)

HUFF
Hasn't played outfield since before the last Giants run(have I beaten this to death yet)…..didn't look really really bad out there….actually looked halfway decent……surprising…..but come on….its flyballs how bad could it be??? what did expect….him to fall on his face while kicking balls over the outfield wall???....well, I guess I was thinking he would be better than those guys with the helmets before the game trying to catch fly balls from a pitching machine…..but not by much……

JOKER

BIG HEAD

Fucking Bochy….at least he finally moved Torres to leadoff……and backed off Sanchez to 3rd…….and after 1 game the Huff experiment worked out well, of course now that Renteria is back on the shelf we won't have to watch that experiment anymore…..or hear about moving Panda and Sanchez around the infield……
now if Bochy could get a fucking clue and get that Rowand out of the lineup…at least SOMETIMES……I mean what's the point….we know when he is hot he is hot….but when he gets cold its downright Ugly……
in 2008 he had 2 good months before imploding….
in 2009 he had 3 good months before imploding…..
here we are in 2010…and after a brief hot streak it looks like it is already implosion time already…..now maybe he gets hot, but when you have alternatives……YOUNGER alternatives…..that MAYBE not only get hot but STAY hot and get MUCH NEEDED MAJOR LEAGUE AB"S……come on Bochy……When Nate gets healty and Poseys' super two status is not a threat…..you got a flexible roster……so use it…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
RENTERIA
Stretch and Drink water…..dammit

ROWAND
4 AB's….1 K….9 pitches seen….hack much? and of all hitters with enough At Bats to Qualify for a batter title??? who is the Hackiest in the National League???.....No Aaron is actually only 2nd to last with 3.27 pitches per at bat….the Hackiest…..Pedro Feliz…… NOW I KNOW WHO HE REMINDS ME OF…he is PEDRO….with a FAT PAYCHECK and LESS POWER…….FUCK ME…….


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

Off Day Rant 05-24-10

43 games in on a 162 game schedule….so about 2 1/2 games past the quarter mark of the season…..and suddenly the season has turned from just enough offense, to how the hell are we ever gonna score a goddamn run……heck, even the Giants who never make a move until its way beyond needed……" discussions about some significant changes" now this is the strangest thing I have read in a while……a fucking merry go round of players shifting to defensive positions that are far from their best spot……..as if suddenly the Defense part of Defense and Pitching is suddenly forgotten…….

Lets review where we are for a moment….
Pablo….he is an above average defensive 3rd baseman and seems to be comfortable there, don't touch him……
Huff, although he hasn't been a real force with the bat, he is playing solid D and although .280/.360/.440 isn't going to win any MVP's…its markedly better than we have been getting or could get from in house in the near future…..
Middle Infield? As long as they are healthy Uribe/ Renteria/ and Sanchez should be OK there……
Catcher….well, Molina's .294/.366/.378 isn't bad and Posey is on the way soon……
Right Field???? Well with Nate's defense and BA and OBP should play, period….yeah the power isn't there yet but as he gets more and more comfortable he should be able to drive pitches more, most players don't find their power stroke early in their major league career…..
Left Field and Center Field have been the sore spots on the Giants roster….. Rowand does look improved in Center, but his bat is as pathetic as ever…maybe even worse……we keep running him out there, expecting him to" BOUNCE BACK" to 2007….Not going to happen that’s 1296 Plate Appearances and 326 games of .264/.324/.416 AND the TREND is DOWN……The there is the whole DeRosa drama, but even if he does manage to play he will NOT be productive….and Honestly I think the Giants are putting off surgery just so they can save face……..

So what do we do????
Well, first of all this whole shuffle is plain stupid….. if you want shift Huff to left and Uribe. Sanchez, and Renteria on the infield…..Uribe or Sanchez plays 1st…..OR you can shift Pablo to 1st (GASP) and play Uribe at 3rd……but don't do it
Leave everything the same…..shift Torres to Center and bring up Posey……Posey can pick up left pretty damn quick I am sure…. you can play him out there 4-5 games a week and maybe catch a few innings here and there….leave Whiteside on the roster and he can get a start or two……this keeps Molina fresh, and his bat in the lineup….which is better than Rowands……

But even IF we do all this, what do we accomplish???
What's the saying, like shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic???
Yes, I am back to it……DRASTIC measures need to be taken not just because of 2010….but 2011…..offensive help isn't coming soon…..Posey doesn't suddenly become a .300-25-100 guy (I don't think, at least)……

I have said it before and I will say it again….we need a trade…..if its one of the guns in the big league rotation, then so be it.…..then rely on the Org's ability to develop more pitching and keep moving forward…..whether it is a trade for Major League Talent….or even "Major League Ready" Talent…hell pick up the phone and find out what it would take to get Mat Gamel from the Brewers…..I bet we could likely do Bumgarner straight up…….or maybe even a package of lesser prospects……but even something like that wouldn't get the Giants over the hump…..we need to consider trading Cain or Sanchez …if we can get an impact bat we can sign long term, then GREAT…if not we need to consider trading one of them for a package of high level prospects….… those two will keep getting more expensive in the short term and you aren't going to get what you need ….call up the Red Sox or the Rangers or Tigers and see what you can get…….the marketing people wouldn't stand for it, but remember…..WINNING cures EVERYTHING……





(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)



by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/22

And that folks is a 4 game slide…. and its been a team effort with the Starting Pitching, the Relievers, the Defense, and the Bats all taking turns screwing up the Giants hopes….time to panic??? well, not really…… you got what you got at this point in the season…….and brining up Hacker and/ or Posey and/ or Bumgarner in the near future wouldn't qualify as a panic move in my opinion…. it would be the smart thing to do……


GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/22

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Thought that whole hard luck thing was gone after 2009?? Nope, after 9 starts Cain sits at 2-4 with a 2.88 ERA…..last year….5-1 with a 2.40 ERA…..and in his 9th start last year Cain also gave up 1 run in a Complete Game…..but last year he got the win…….


TIP OF THE CAP :
I don't know………lets see……Hey …..Brandon Crawford is looking better in AA Richmond……after having his BA hovering in the .210 level early this year, he is hitting .314 with a .444 OBP in his last 10….


JOKER

BATS

Good god…..I know they aren't this bad….but days like this make you want to blow this team up and start over……the Giants never went through a true rebuilding phase…..never making a 100% commitment by trading anything of value for lots and lots of prospects and youth…instead they are relying on the draft, aggressive international signings and free agents to get the job done…… has done wonders for the pitching staff……but as the pitching staff peaks……the hitters are mostly expensive Free Agents and AAAA hitters trying to make the grade…..and when the one early blooming hitter starts slumping ……and the blue chip offensive threat is kept in the AAA to save a few bucks…….you get an offense that scares no one……and even AFTER Posey gets here……the Giants are going to need a lot more help to get late into October……and that help ain't coming from AA anytime soon….nope, the Giants are going to have to make that TRADE……..of course, easier said than done….

SMACK OF THE STICK :
HUFF/ F SANCHEZ/ BOWKER
Fuck…….OK, Huff I can deal with, since he has actually played better than expected at 1st…..but the Sanchez bobble when he had plenty of time….and the fucking BALLON throw from Bowker…….they both can do better than that……fuck……

OK, that’s all I got folks……those Giants aren't giving me anything to work with…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/21

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at A'S 05/21

GAMEBALL

TORRES

A popular guy these days on the Gameball write up, Torres continued his hot hand with a pair of doubles that were just SMOKED……throw in an RBI on the stat sheet and that’s just about all it takes to get the GAMEBALL on a night devoid of Giants highlights……

TIP OF THE CAP :
PANDA
Couple knocks and looks like he just might be heating up…..

HUFF
Ahead of Pablo in Average, On Base, and Slugging…..which is just as much a testament to Huff turning it around into a decent season, as it is a statement to the poor start the Panda is off to……

DALLAS
Yeah yeah, tip the cap again…..we get it…… but hey, how often do perfect games come around……

RAJAI
Think back….. the April 2008…. the Giants put Rajai on waivers to find room for Burriss on the active roster….well a lot has happened since then…….Burriss and Bocock at SS???......Always liked Rajai, hope he does well…..at least 156 games a year…..

JOKER

ZITO

Seems like one of two things happen when a player returns from whence they came… they either kick fucking ass like Torrelabla seems to do to us 12 times a year……or the choke like David Carradine on a Saturday night…….and Mr Unicorn falls into the second category…..even during the dream season he is having he just can't get over the hump…….and by the way, that whole Zito in A's uniform montage……2 things pop into mind….1st.. he got old……2nd….nice to see that JOKER in a different uniform……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
BOCHY
Rowand stays in the leadoff spot with a bat colder than a witches tit…..while Torres sits at the bottom of the lineup smoking more than Timmy on a Jamacian vacation……dude….this isn’t a set and forget offense…..you cobble together your best hitters in a group hoping to maximize benefit…….8 hits and 1 run……put Torres at the top of that lineup…..or even 9th in that "2nd leadoff" spot and you probably get another run……2 hits from the 3, 4 and 8 hole……what the fuck…..

WEGNER
Apparently, was found dressed as Peter Pan and molesting collies earlier today…..hey, I don't make the news……I just report it……

CHANNEL 11
Miller, Krukow, and Fosse???? Man, that is a forced combo.......A Hall of Famer….a Gamer….and Pete Rose's speedbump……


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/20

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/20

GAMEBALL

SANCHEZ

Well it wasn't exactly an all star performance tonight, but he looked pretty good out there making a nifty play at 2nd and chugging around to score from 1st on a bobbled double in the 1st……if he can provide some stability to the lineup, then welcome to the team…..and hey…..he made it through a whole game without having clandestine surgery….and that alone for glass Freddy is worth a GAMEBALL

TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE/ BOWKER
Back to Back……got the Giants rolling back into the game…..and those weren't no cheapies…….

HUFF
Maybe not an "all star" like Freddy, but we may have a 1/2 way legitmate 1st baseman…..nahhhhhhhh

BOCHY
For chirping enough to get thrown out once in a while, and for actually trying something different and batting the pitcher 8th…..wow…..thats not old school…….



JOKER

BULLPEN

On a night when the Offense stepped it up…… the bullpen couldn't come through….. the Merkin proclaimed Bad Ass Bullpen got Torpedoed like a South Korean Warship in the Yellow Sea …..Romo and Runzler had their moments, but were quickly outclassed……then Mota and Affeldt were straight up hittable to cough up the lead and then some……if the Giants are going to sniff October they are going to need these JOKERS to live up to their billing….I don't care who the opposition…..yeah the DBacks are hot….. but if you ever want that ring you are going to have to get past an offense like the D Rays, or Yankees……

SMACK OF THE STICK :
TIMMY
A day after watching Wellemeyer get his ass handed to him, Timmy didn’t fare much better…..control wasn't there at all…..5 walks and way way too many balls left up in the zone…..it was Timmy's first real stinker of the year and he still almost got a W…….well….not really……

WEGNER
What a winey little bitch…..zone wasn't THAT bad, but this guy has a big time chip on his shoulder…..what the hell could have Big Head said to get you so riled up……

MERKIN
Getting formulaic with the write up….pick on some one…..compare them to news headlines…..tomorrow…..A's slam Zito like India got slammed by Cyclone Laila……and by the way……is it just me, why do I think Kim Jong Il is what Al Davis would be like if he ran a country…..and liked Kimchi…..

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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/19

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DBACKS 05/19

GAMEBALL

PANDA

Slim pickens on a night where the Giants got beaten like a Red Shirt in Bangkok…. there were few highlights…..but Pablo did collect 2 hits including a double and singled in the 1st to give the Giants a brief lead…..nice to see signs of life from the Panda…..yeah .280 ain't exactly struggling….but he is the MAN in the offense…..we need something like 330+ and 25+HR outta him to be serious contenders

TIP OF THE CAP :
DOWNS
If you never heard Matt Downs….1:08 of this clip now there is nothing wrong with a good drawl…. but you usually don't hear a pro ballplayer that has been kicking around for a few years to have something so thick….by this time in your career the accent has usually softened to help assimilate into the rest of the org and the media…..but not Matty….drawling like a true Alabama boy……gotta like the flavor…..

BLOWOUT
The Giants lost by 12 runs…..the biggest margin of the year….up until now the biggest lost was by 5 runs at the hands of the Braves the first weekend of the season…..honestly its nice to get that out of the way….such a bad loss…..i would dare to say it was almost a cleansing experience…..and get that Pythagorean theorem thing closer to our real record……hey, I am trying to find SOMETHING positive…..

JOKER

WELLEMEYER

OK….. the "Weak Link of the Giants pitching staff' (Vin Scully quote about Wellemeyer)….got his ass handed to him today….now…..the #5 spot in the rotation is almost a throw away spot on the Major League roster, often populated by retreads, projects, and youngsters…..and rightly so, as few staffs are even 4 deep in good pitching let alone 5 deep…..and when push comes to shove in October….that 5th spot disappears entirely……..but here is the problem……MOST teams aren't as pathetic offensively as the Giants and if they don't get to October in the first place they won't have to worry about "wasting" the 5th spot……so get Wellemeyers ass into the pen already and you can…..either try to catch lightning in the bottle with Hacker or get Bumgarner some much needed experience in the show…..either way you are a better team today and perhaps a better team tomorrow too…..and if you are lucky, some one comes into his own quickly and the Giants are actually in the race in July…..and you have depth to deal from……but until then, you got a hole in your rotation and kids who sorely need to be broken in…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
MEDDERS/ BAUTISTA
Well……that was ugly……lack of focus perhaps???

TORRES
Dude..where the hell did that bat twirl come from……so far I have seen you do that 5 times …..and the result is 4 K's and a 1st pitch popup……..good god….is he cocky already???/ fuck dude…..don't take that LF spot for granted……


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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG

(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin