GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL and JOKER--> DBACKS at GINTS 05/28

GAMEBALL

CAIN

Man I love this kid…..back in the darker days of recent Giants history, there were a pair of young guns that gave Giants hope…..well, Noah is long gone…but that Horse of a kid from Alabama is as rock solid as ever…..called up at the tender age of 20, Cain shouldered a full load ….and the now 25 year old already has 4 consecutive years of 30+ starts and doesn't look like he is slowing down anytime soon….this kid is a throwback to the days when players didn’t change team every other year and the guy in the other dugout was your sworn enemy….heck I bet that first day off All Star Festivities last year Cain just sat there staring at his National League teammates thinking…..what the fuck….you are the enemy…..I can't talk to you……Good job Matty on that 1 hitter…..what a fucking performance…..just when Timmy is hitting a bump and the Giants rotation needed a jolt…..Cain came up BIG TIME….

TIP OF THE CAP :
TORRES
Too much man love for 1 guy yet?... Hey Bochy…..How about a few starts in CENTER…….

PABLO
PANDA POWER…..nice to see a bomb from the big boy,……add 3 RBI's and I think he deserves a nice big helping of Lasagna…..Hey, another HR tomorrow and Post Game meal is on me

HUFF
Little power, little patience…..how did this guy suck so bad last year?

GLASS FREDDY
Couple big knocks, couple nifty plays…..and no time on the DL…..by the way….how many games does he have to stay healthy until he can shake this reputation…..I am guessing……4 years without missing a game……otherwise…….HEY….You don't get a second chance to make a first impression….I saw it on a gum commercial, so it must be true……

JOKER

PAT

Man…..one of my favorite heckle targets in Left Field……the overpaid……low BA 1st PICK OVERALL……well, in reality he was better than his stat line seemed…….legitimate 30 Homer Power……75-100 walk guy with a 250 BA……a nice solid player in the lineup……but how can you ever live up to that 1st overall pick if your name ain't ARod or Griffey….. Chipper did pretty well….Strasburg looks to be the real deal……but unless you put up a HOF career you are a disappointment…..well Burrell won't have to worry about the Hall any time soon…..he is just struggling to stay in the league with this whole new "defensive mentality"….but if he does sign with the Giants….its not a question of IF he hits in AAA…..believe me, he will RAKE the PCL……so come on Giants, what have you got to lose….34 year old hitter with a career OPS of .834.. that's better than ANYONE on the team……after a tuneup Give Burrell a shot in Left and shift Torres over to Center, we don't have anyone of note in Center anyway…..

SMACK OF THE STICK :
ROWAND
And when you get the pine, you can show that you are a team player and shut the hell up……you want to play that bad, then ask for your release and give up the rest of that contract
NATE
Hard play….but makeable…..especially for the gold glove caliber defensive player like you….see how I spun that into a compliment?? Gotta be careful….he's a big mean man…Dad knows what I look like….might kick my ass ;)……

MERKIN
Wasn't it just a few days ago some JACKASS was saying we should trade Cain for a few minor leaguers or something?.....oh yeah, that was me……and maybe this is the perfect time…….

REYNOLDS
Got the lone hit and a HBP for the only two blemishes that stood between Cain and his Perfect Game….of course they happened so early in the game, the drama and pressure wasn’t there….so who knows if he ever gets close with the pressure…..but playing what if sure is fun

CARLOS ZAMBRANO
Apparntly…..didn't need emergency surgery…..in fact….probably just too many Italian Beef Sandwiches….which begs the question….exactly HOW MANY Sandwiches do you have to eat before you get sent to the hospital to get tests to determine if you need surgery????


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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)




by merkin