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Ok suck it up and write something kid, the peoples be waiting…..
Oh man, bad afternoon all the way around…. man I feel like crap…….what seemed like a good day at first quickly deteriorated into a Giants loss and then work took a turn south as well, as I was painted into a corner by a pissed off customer for something that I really don't know who said what to whom…. all I know is I am the bad guy and any attempt to try to correct the perception is either going to throw someone else under a bus and/ or make the customer feel attacked…..I didn't see that one coming…..all I can tell myself is that's why I get paid the big buck (singular) to be the Taco Bell Day Shift Manager……too bad my cashiers aren't nearly as attractive as the commercials… that is unless you like women that bear a striking resemblance to Bengie Molina….without the big boobs…..
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PHILLIES at GIANTS 04/28
GAMEBALL
NATE
Once night after just missing a gameball, Nate did everything he could not only to keep the Giants in the game, but to cement that Pinnacle of All Giants Honors, the GAMEBALL…..Nate went crazy at the plate today going a perfect 5 for 5 with a walk….2 of those hits were doubles and he scored 3 runs and knocked in a run early and late….. ahead, tied, or behind…righty or lefty….Nate just kept on hitting…. man, what does it take to get out of that 8 hole Bochy???? Nate the Great is ready for some primetime action!
TIP OF THE CAP : 
LINCECUM
What can you say, Tim was a sharp blade slicing through the Phillies lineup.. through 8 he had just the Howard Homer on the negative side of the ledger….Season High 11 strikeouts, no walks and a 3 run lead…….the came the 9th…..after getting Dobbs to ground out, Timmy made his biggest mistake of the day….giving Bochy a reason to lift him with a 4 pitch walk to Victorino….
TORRES
Tied the game with a double in the 5th, bases loaded walk for the go ahead run in the 6th…and then tied the game again with a single in the 10th….too bad he ran out of magic in the 11th……do we REALLY have to take Rowand back?
RENTERIA
2 out 2 rbi single of Hammels to make it 4-1 in the 6th…..
MOLINA
First Multiwalk game since August 2009
SCHULMAN
Hey, howya doing…..so what's your screenname? I am guessing its Nine Buck? Either way, thanks for the traffic =)
JOKER
VELEZ
Man, not sure WHAT happened there…..usually when you see someone make a flub like that either A) Sun/ lights got in their eyes or B) They took their eye off the ball to make a play…..well with two outs and no sun or lights to be found…..Eugenio watches the ball all the way into a CLANK of the glove…..what the fuck? I could have made that catch with both hands behind my back….. What to do with Eugenio??? All the physical tools you want from a ball player….. but somehow the ghost of Jose Cruz haunts him……and if that wasn't enough, Eugenio gets a shot at redemption on a silver platter…..tying run at 3rd with 1 out….2-0 curveball gets chopped right into the dirt to Howard who proceeds to gun down the tying run…..nope, no redemption for Eugenio…..and the only positive thing you did was keep Wilson from being the JOKER…….
SMACK OF THE STICK : 
HUFF
0-4….3 K's with men in scoring position, only a lineout in the 7th avoided the Golden Sombero…..
BOCHY
Maybe you agreed with him maybe you didn't…..but either way in the end the Manager is responsible of the decisions made….we KNOW Wilson blows that game, maybe Timmy nails it down? He certainly had gas in the tank, but with the rested Wilson cranking it up, Bochy was thinking it was the no brainer there….of course we all know now that it was the wrong move…..
WILSON
Sure, Werth was a lucky bounce…..but that's why you want a strikeout pitcher at the end of the game…..why leave a win to change of a ball bouncing fair…..and the Howard walk setup that play, as did Utley hard grounder……Wilson blew an easy one here….
ROMO/AFFELDT
Sure the starting pitching gets all the press, but I will say it again…..this bullpen is what really sets this pitching staff apart from the others in the NL…..Deep and talented pitchers with swing through stuff from closer to mop up……welll they got their share of whiffs tonigh, but Affeldt didn't know where his pitches were going, and Romo didn't fool enough people with his benders…..
MERKIN
Apparently, he didn't learn his lesson during the Cardinals series…after calling out Pujols, Albert proceeded to pound Giants pitching preventing the sweep…..well, I guess our newly minted $125 million man is an avid reader of GiantsBoard.com as well….and he obviously reacted to what was written with a solo shot, the hustle on what looked like a likely fair ball to tie the game and then a clutch defensive play in the 11th……so if Pujols didn't convince you that Major Stars read Gameball and Jerk… then Howard is even more proof…..
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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Don't have much time tonight, so got to rip through this….
Wow, I was a bit beat from work so I laid back on the couch…..and dozed off for a little while….I had the most fucked up dream…..Wellemeyer shut down the stacked Phillies offense…. Huff finally got one over the bricks as a Giant and Matt Downs hit a go ahead homer…….what a dream eh? next thing you know I will dream Whiteside hit a homer of an Ace like Halladay…..
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PHILLIES at GIANTS 04/27
GAMEBALL
WELLEMEYER
This boy has taken a lot of abuse the first month of the season, and rightly so as he sucked about as bad as Joe Buck Live…..but tonight he mastered the Phillies with a little help from his friends and although there were many heroes, it is only fair that we recognize the man in the center of the Diamond with the GAMEBALL
TIP OF THE CAP :
DOWNS
That early call up magic that Franny never seemed to find, Downs has played solid D and smacked the go ahead homer……the luster will fade soon enough, but for now we can use anything we can get
NATE
just missed an OPPO homer, but the real highlights were the 2 assists at second….gotta love that shit……and somehow Nate has moved his average up to .300 with a .800+OPS…. Better than 2009 Winn and a fraction of the price…..
RENT
Played a good deek on Howard, and chipped in 3 hits and 2 BIG RBI's
PABLO
2 hits, 2 rbi, nothing stupid…..
TORRES
Walk and a Hit and a Steal……
HUFF
Tater……and that's what we are paying for…..keep it up….
RUNZLER/MEDDERS
The Phillies never had a chance
UTLEY
Gotta give props to that nice turn of the DP….of course, he only gets acknowledgement here if we are winning….
JOKER
HOWARD
Hey, I gots my $125 Million! OK, I can stop trying now…..DOH!!! Man they are going to have fun with that one in Philly…..first Halladay comes back to earth, now their rock of a 1stbaseman gets made the fool getting thrown out coasting into 2nd…..Sorry kid, the rules apply to all Income Levels……you arrogant JOKER…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
UTLEY
And 9th inning down by 4 and nobody out…….GO FOR TWO!!!.....I bet Utley was thinking of how cool it would be to get back to that 40 doubles plateau……too bad it don't do shit to help your team……
DODGERS
Last Place…..Notorious Malcontents Padilla and Ramirez on the DL, Billingsley getting slapped around the yard, bullpen in tatters……Sure Kemp and Ethier are about a deadly a combo as there is in the NL….but those two and $9 will get you a beer at AT&T…….
BOWKER
Victim of the Nate Show in right…..with defense like THAT, you have to outhit Nate by a ton to get that job….and with Nate at .300….that means you have to hit…like 2.000….
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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> PHILLIES at GIANTS 04/26
GAMEBALL
DEROSA
Now, if you looked at the box score, and see 4 0 1 2… fairly pedestrian, right? Well when you are the San Francisco Giants facing a 4-0 Halladay with an ERA south of 1.00? Man, I tell you if you waste that situation in that very first inning, you aren't gonna get shit off this guy….so when you got a full count 2 out base hit to plate 2 runs and get the early lead and show that Halladay is flesh and blood…..well, that’s HUGE….I don't care if it was a 57 bouncer through the hole, he put the bat on the ball and with enough umphh to get it threw that hole…..and I don't care if he got gunned at 2nd… gotta keep that pressure on …and that 1st inning set the tone…. good job and here is your GAMEBALL
TIP OF THE CAP :
WHITESIDE
Nice work kid, how the hell did you keep those fair? Whiteside hit a sizzling worm burner just down the 3rd base line for an RBI double, and then dropped the head on an a ball inside and spanked it right down the line and off the foul for a solo shot late…..not to mention a pretty insane block on a ball 2 feet outside in the dirt……another night, another situation and this is a GAMEBALL
RENTERIA
Looked foolish at times, looked like a hitter at times….and he was a hitter enough for 2 hits including getting the party started in the 1st……
PABLO
Seems like he's got multiple hits everynight……
HUFF
Starving for hits lately, but got fed tonight with an RBI single to add on in the 6th and keep the momentum with the home team……
ROMO
Airtight……2 solid innings versus one of the best offensive in the NL…..
DEFENSE
Not spectacular, sometimes not even pretty….but the Giants have been making all the plays lately… not something all teams can do……
JOKER
MANUEL
Phuck you Charlie Manuel….. not pissed anymore, but haven't forgotten the snug of the Panda…..in and of itself, maybe we forget…. but you are leading a team of pompous jackasses out there……Incredibly talented and deep organization from the Majors and through the Minors…..no reason to play like little bitches……today it was the Utley HBP….you see him react and pull back and then stop and stick his arm back out…..pansy bullshit play….like the Victorino 'Make his Own Basepath" you all pulled against Omar a few years back……that shit would get someone buzzed or knocked down in the old days……too bad the Giants brass are a bunch of pussies….cause you JOKERS need to be put in your place…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
GIANTS BRASS
And speaking of which, when are you going to protect your own players? Not saying you nail someone in the head, but throw behind their belt and give em a scare…..what could happen? a few punches? good god, its baseball, everyone just comes out of the dugout and talks about their lear jets….hell I would throw down with these fuckers in a second…..sure I would get my ass pounded, but I guarantee I would do at least a little damage….in a fight there are only 3 things to be scared of….Guns, Knives, and Jail and I don't think any of those are coming anytime soon….well, unless I jump on the field to join the fray….and don't worry, that won't happen…..me no likely Jail……
GARY RADNICH
And while I am venting, what the fuck is this guy doing on a Giants broadcast…. he know nearly NOTHING about baseball… and makes his living being a jackass…and not even a particularly effective jackass that gets the masses riled up and get ratings….not more annoying like listening to a Hyena with Strep Throat…..good god, who likes you? I guess you MUST get ratings cause you seem to stay employed……but please please keep this guy away from ANYTHING Giants…..christ….I would rather listen toJohn London
For those that don't recall the Victorino play
Victorino ran out of the basepath in order to collide with Vizquel who was without the ball…….in a rule quirk he was called safe for obstruction
Vizquel was part of a crazy play in the fifth when Victorino tried to steal second and ran out of the basepath and onto the grass. Vizquel was called for obstruction and Victorino took second
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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG
(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Got stuff to do, so maybe a little shorter than usual
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> CARDS at GIANTS 04/25
GAMEBALL
TORRES
Put this guy at the top of the lineup and let him go a few games……after his late heroics on Saturday Andres collected 3 hits and made a couple long ranging plays look easy is his start on Sunday…. is there any doubt he would do better than Rowand? ok, maybe not as marketable, but remember Rowand is a .250 hitter with marginal power and low OBP….and Andres has MUCH more range than Captain Gamer……GAMEBALL for the midget boy….
TIP OF THE CAP :
PABLO
3 Hit Day, Good Panda, have some pie
NATE
2 hits…..
PEN
4 scoreless…..nice…..have some of Pablo's Pie, just keep your hand away from his mouth…….
JOKER
SABEAN
OK, Brian…… If its broke…..fix it……don't sit around an hope that Zito's Magic Ass Unicorn is going to solve your problems…… Pitching staff is dealing, the West is up for grabs…..hitters are stinkin up the joint…….get those calls in NOW…..sure teams are reluctant to trade this early in the year, but you better lay some groundwork down NOW…..of course come September we will get some non factor incremental bullshit for some genuine value pieces……good god you are a fucking JOKER…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
BOCHY
3 guys with multi hit games… too bad those hits were spread out on opposite ends of the lineup and resulted in NADA runs ….pathetic
VELEZ/RENTERIA/DEROSA/ISHIKAWA
You all suck….
TIMMY
Good god, Penny was nasty…. and the one thing that stood out to me was….. I think Timmy showed him that changeup….. not a standard changeup, but a hard moving change with that "modified split" grip…..check this out Changeup Speed went from 85.7 to 88.5…. Vertical movement went from 6.7 to 4.5 (dropping 2.2 more inches) this is a harder change that drops more…. This "modified split' is likely easier to throw, and more deceptive and consistent…..and he's throwing it 30.4% of the time with about 47% offspeed, compared with 7% changeup and less than 30% offspeed in 2009… Tim, couldn't you wait until he was resigned before teaching him something so nasty?
MERKIN
Pujols Joker + Pojols 1st inning Game Winning Homer…..shit, I guess that is undeniable proof, big time major league stars are reading this now…..Wow, didn't realize the reach I had…..I need to be more careful what I write about……and since you are reading this….Mr Pujols…..can you send me an autographed ball please….I am your biggest fan…..and by the way, I got a line on some primo HGH if you are interested…..that is unless McGuire hasn't already hooked you up……
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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG
(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
First day back the yard since opening day, and it was a blast… found my mid-season form with the voice and had a packed crowd…. even had a wave starter in the upperdeck try to get something started, but not enough cooperation and lots of boos….Quick pace and the giants were able to bring home a victory….. Good Times, Good Company…..Go Giants……
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> CARDS at GIANTS 04/24
GAMEBALL
ZITO
OK, going to the game means I probably have to listen to the Call In Show on KNBR….. I mean come on guys … not only do you have people lining up ready to let Zito teabag them,… many of these people are pissed off at the people who where on Zito's shit the last few years….. Good god, people….. Yes, he has been amazing…….but the "whiny" part of the Giants fanbase weren't expecting GREAT… we were hoping for NOT SO SUCKY…..ok, now that I have that off my chest, I was one of the doubters, and I was also in the middle of that BAR-RY chant……it’s a what have you done for me lately world out there…. and that sword cuts both ways……and Zito is getting all the love he every wanted right now……Man, I don't know what happened, buts something has gotten into Zito…… I bet he stuffed a unicorn up his ass…..and THAT"S what the mean by IT'S MAGIC INSIDE……..and BTW…congrats on ANOTHER GAMEBALL….
TIP OF THE CAP :
NATE
Just when it looked like Zito was going home with a No Decision, and we might be headed for one of the those 20 innings scoreless affairs……but Nate got his lone hit of the night in the perfect spot and came around in a Torres single for the lead…..
TORRES
Stayed on a Nasty Curve and muscled it up the middle for the RBI and the lead…….then came around on a Huff Sac Fly
HUFF
Never take a run scoring Sac Fly for granted…..
PABLO
NICE DP, solid in the field and 2 hits and a walk…..
WILSON
No stress, No Joke, No Problem…..
JOKER
PUJOLS
Wow, the "MACHINE" has been far from "WELL OILED" so far this weekend…..and its one thing to be schooled by the 2x Cy Young award winner……but Barry "Please Love Me" Zito? man, you looked like a scrub up there taking that called 3rd, and then arguing the with UMP…. and the Ump Just smiling, laughing and probably saying…..Dude. watch the replay and shut up and swing the damn bat next time……..but he is one badass MOFO…..hope that being the JOKER, doesn't wake up that bat……
SMACK OF THE STICK :
LARUSSA
Get your ass back on the bench before I kick your dog…..
DEROSA
What the hell happened in St Louis? Did you bang Pujols' wife or something? I mean she IS hot but was it really worth getting beaned twice in 2 nights???
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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG
(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Wow, back to home sweet home….. and orange Friday ain't just some stupid marketing ploy anymore…. no, this time they gave out orange blankets and got the team in orange as well…. well, it's an improvement on old orange Friday's at least, I mean if they are asking the fans to wear the burnt orange they might as well make the players participate….but not really sure if I like it….I mean some players actually look pretty good, while others look a bit odd….and the cream pants with orange tops???, I guess so if they were in orange tops and pants…well, it would probably look like this,….
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> CARDS at GIANTS 04/23
GAMEBALL
TIMMY
Timmy….well, not the best looking in the orange, and not the sharpest performance….. but he got the job done .. Timmy allowed runners get to scoring position 3 times in the first 3 innings, but he nutted up when it counted with runners in scoring allowing only 1 hit in 10 AB's with 4 K's and a DP…..Way to get that 4th win Timmy stopping the Giants' 4 game slide, moving your own record to 4-0 and getting tonight's GAMEBALL
TIP OF THE CAP :
DEROSA
Little Orange, Little Dirt, Derosa was looking good in the orange……
Have the feeling that you are going to end up with like 100 tips of the cap, and never a gameball…..not a spectacular effort, but he seemed to always be in the middle of the action……diving into 1st to beat out an infield hit, leading off the Giants 2 run rally in the 3rd …..2 runs qualify as a rally for this team, don't second guess me OK?
ROMO
Hmm, maybe not so sharp in orange…..
With the images of that dreadlocked bastard still in the back my mind, he proceeded to look the best player in baseball look straight up FOOLISH on the K to lead off the 8th……and good job going OUT OF THE ZONE THIS TIME with the 1-2 pitch….
WILSON
NO, the fauxhawk/ rattail thing don't work with the orange…..well, it doesn’t really work period……
Man, on like 52 days rest Brian was sharp enough to strike out the side allowing only a infield single to the hole…….
HUFF
No hits, 2 runs,….and that Orange isn't working……makes him look like an overgrown Dennis the Menace……
NATE
Hey, HBP + Infield Hit……that’s a huge offensive night for this team,….and I didn't notice the jersey, I was too busy staring at his batting gloves…..Jeez, make up your mind already……
DOWNS
Basehit + Walk + nothing stupid…..hey that pretty good for Giants' position players fresh off the farm…..
PABLO + TORRES
In my opinion the best looking in Orange…..
Orange was very slimming for Pablo, and I think the glare of the Orange made Torres Big Gold Chain look somewhat understated….
JOKER
STL GLOVES
The Ghost Steve Sax lives….. Good god, if the Cardinals fumbled with any more balls tonight, they would have to be registered as sex offenders….Brendan Ryan bouncing one into the stands, Schumaker letting one leak through the 5 hole, and the Yadier letting a curveball in the dirt get past him for the run scoring passball…. wow, hope they play defense like JOKERS all weekend…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
KRUKOW/ PUJOLS
Sorry Mike, DeRosa woulda been out if Pujols makes that scoop….Ryan made a great play up the middle and didn't make the best throw, but it was a makeable short hop play…..in fact I would say that a 1st baseman of Albert caliber should make that play 95% of the time……Taking about Ryan being young and shoulda eaten it is just wrong…. if it was such a no hope play, Albert shoulda just as arguable come off the bag and just knocked the damn ball down……Sorry Kruk, if you are afraid to talk shit about the Big Man, just don't say anything……don't put it all on the kid's shoulders…..
RENTERIA
Sorry Rent, I must say I am glad we traded you for #5 out there,….. he was looking pretty good….
MANNY
Went on the disabled list with a strained calf……cramping and bloating…….hey, it's that time of the month……
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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Happy 420 everyone (especially you Timmy)…too bad the offense looked like they were more interested in microwave burrito's and Flamin' Hot Cheetos than hitting the damn balll…. Sorry, I don't get involved in this stuff….420 was invented or at least came to my attention about the same time that I stopped "participating"…… and by the way, I have personally seen the Physician's Desk Reference (PDR) Herbal Medicines, one of the authorities tomes on medicine… and the first line of the Cannabis entry reads…..There are 420 psychoactive compounds in Cannabis (paraphrased)…….
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-20
GAMEBALL
SANCHEZ
#4 starter? Hell the way things are going, Sanchez isn't just a #3 on this staff, he is looking like a #2 only behind the 2 time Cy Young Stoner himself…WOW…....I mean look at these stats…tonight 1 hit 10k's this year.12.6 K's/ 9 IP,. 0.98 WHIP, 0.164 BAA, Still walking too many, but when you got a K/BB ratio 3.38 its hard to find fault….Not enough for the win however….heck was even tagged with the loss, but you can't fault the effort……Good job on the GAMEBALL Jon and keep it rolling, the Giants will score a run from you….someday……
TIP OF THE CAP :
SCHIERHOLTZ
On a day of near nil offense, Nate set up the game tying run in the 8th with a leadoff triple…..too bad no one wanted to cooperate with you…..
HUFF
Single to move Torres to 3rd with 1 down in the 9th, sweet play on foul ball giving up the body….who is this guy, and who is the shitty ass player I was reading about this offseason….obviously they weren't talking about HUFFER…..see, he's even got a nickname…..
PANDA
Did his part with 2 hits and a 9th inning walk…..
ROMO
Bounce back from Sunday with a clean frame
SHARKS
The Sharks managed to score and take home a squeaker …
JOKER
3xFU's
WHITESIDE!?!?! DAMMIT!!!
MOLINA!?!? FUCK!?!?!!
URIBE!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
WELL FUCK, the only thing more frustrating than watching a pitching performance like that go to waste, is when you actually get 3 shots to get the tying run in from 3rd in the final 2 innings of the game and fuck it up all three times…..I mean come on….what are the odds……the odds are fucking ridiculous….I mean, let me break this down for the mathematically inclined….I went to Tom Tango's site and looked up the 27 base out states and the chance of scoring a run from 3rd when giving three chances is actually 100%*.....of course then you read the fine print….."*These are purely statistical models and do not apply when talking about pitiful offenses like the San Francisco Giants"….man that Tom Tango is one smart mother fucker…..and we got a trio of JOKERS….
SMACK OF THE STICK :
VELEZ/ BOWKER
Ever hear of picking up your teammates???? Well, Bowker and Velez found Molina Urbie and Whiteside a little too heavy to lift
RENTERIA
2 GIDP…..better watch your ass when Freddy Sanchez comes back….at least until Sanchez hurts himself again……
HUFF
Honestly, you can't reasonably fault him for catching the ball that allowed the tag up and eventual only Padres run……but you know what, I am not held to the laws of reason and if Huff doesn't make that GAMER play, and the way Sanchez was pitching??? Very likely that run never comes around to score…..but who knows……and JT Snow would taken out at least 1 camera man and gotten 6 phone numbers….all you get is welt on your back and a smack of the stick
PS Yes, I know its not really 100%...its a joke....calm down, really its more like 85-90%, probability is not additive...
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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Ahh the Padres… what to do with these little fuckers…. not worthy of the full blown hate of the Dodgers….. no, the Padres hardly qualify for strong dislike…. No the Padres are more like that mildly retarded kid in the school yard…. you know the one that smells like sour milk and tucks in his t shirt? Yeah, he wants to be your friend, but honestly he is just kinda annoying more than anything….. you don’t' want to be mean to the kid, but you don't want anything to do with him either….Go away kid, go make friends with the cafeteria lady or something…..
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at PADRES 04-19
GAMEBALL
URIBE
This guy is a piece of work, and it seems like timing is everything….two times in two nights Uribe has come up with a big late homer and both times the Giants could not cash in….I know what the career stats say, I know how old he is……but I just keep my eyes closed and clicking my ruby red slippers saying…."hitters can learn patience in their 30's, hitters can learn patience in their 30's" I mean how is this possible? A Pre Giants slash line of .253/ .295/ .423 turns into .293/ .334/ .492… Age is against him, BABIP says he is lucky….but if loving Juan is wrong, I don't wanna be right……and he certainly deserves that GAMEBALL….
TIP OF THE CAP :
AUBREY HUFFNSTUFF
As he gets more and more entrenched in our psyche, my head keeps going HERE Just hope Timmy lays off that magic flute on game day….
RENT
Nice double and take of 3rd on the bobble to set up the Giants 1st run….and sweet sneak attack bunt in extras……
CAIN
Not the sharpest start, and they were on him early…but righted the ship and was able to turn in his best start of the year so far…..welcome to 2010 Matty…..
K&K
I caught some of the Mets broadcast before the game, and I forgot how bad these guys are…hacks, all the way around…..then back to our broadcast and good old K&K….yeah, the clichés are tired, but they are still good for a horse laugh or two and THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT along with just being natural and having a good time……sometimes we forget how lucky we are…..
JOKER
SAND GNAT
FUCK, you little FUCK……I don't know what the fuck you are still doing in the league let alone how the hell you could muster up enough strength to hit a ball out of Petco…. how have YOU not retired…. no range, no power, no speed, hits .260…. good god, if you are going to play Major League Baseball, do me a favor call up Gagne and see if you can line up some HGH will ya? I am sure with your physical deformity you can get a prescription….. FUCKING JOKER…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
GAGNE
Speaking of which, everyones favorite goggled French Canadian jackass has called it quits……and the headlines read….. STAR DRUG USER RETIRES ……good god, you musta been REALLY good at using drugs…..and yes, I DO believe Bonds took drugs and benefited from them…..but Bonds was a bonified MVP pre juice…..Gagne? He was a pitcher that washed out of the rotation…twice……
AFFELDT
Dude..…..Dude……Dude……
FANTASY BASEBALL
I had Richard and Gregerson on my NL Roto team…. and Blanks and Cabrera…. if I had Eckstein I would look for a bridge right about now…..
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(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
Damn…. Everything seemed aligned to sneak out of LA with a series win with the Giants riding that momentum right through April and into the meat of the season….handing over a 1 run lead to the airtight bullpen for just another W…. but with one swing of the bat from that whiney dredlocked wanna be DH, and the Giants were sent to San Diego with their first series loss of the year…..but really, after a performance like that from the waste of payroll that is Zito, its hard not to be optimistic……..
GAMEBALL and JOKER--> GIANTS at DODGERS 04-18
GAMEBALL
ZITO
Damn, if he keeps doing this I might actually have to start liking him…. Barry looked as good as his Cy Young days from years ago….hitting spots like few pitchers can, and mixing pitches keeping the hitters off balance…..As the year began we all hoped he could duplicate his 2009, but as the year progresses I think he might actually be BETTER??? I mean this is 3 solid starts back to back to back….too early to say and as good as the stats look he did get some luck his way as some hard hit balls did turn to outs…..but still he isn’t walking anyone and isn't giving up the long ball…..and keep in mind Zito did have 2 stretches last year…..4 starts and 3 starts in a row where he went 6 or more innings allowing 3 runs or less……but still, what a way to start the season and lets hope this isn't just a hot streak……good job Barry, here is your GAMEBALL….. you jackass…..
TIP OF THE CAP :
URIBE
That Solo shot was too beautiful to be ruined…..but it was ruined by the 2 run shot by Manny by more by your own failure to come through with insurance in the 8th…not to mention your K with a runner on 2nd in the 4th…..but still when you get the only run of the day on a solo shot, I think that you at least get a tip of the cap
VELEZ
May not have had a great day, but in a close game at least he didn't screw the pooch on the bases or in the field…..2 K's, but hey he has a walk and saw 19 pitches in 4 Plate Appearances…..Maybe Bam Bam has gotten through to him???
JOKER
ROMO
SERGIO!!!
What the hell man…. Yeah I heard announcers talking about how Manny musta been sitting on that slider, easy to say after the fact….but nonetheless, keep that ball away from him and at least waste one at the letters….honestly thinking along with the pitch I was thinking backdoor changeup or even the tailing fastball on the outside was the pitch you wanted there…..he is anxious to pull the ball and he would roll over, and even if he went with the pitch its hard to hit out…… you went with the frontdoor slider on the hands and he twirled on you ass……woulda been a great win, but its April…..so live and learn Sergio…..nobody wants to be the JOKER…..
SMACK OF THE STICK :
TORRES
Andres, getting his chance in the sun turns in a game to forget…..getting picked off first in the 2nd costing the Giants a baserunner in a tight game, and then leading off the 9th he pops up his bunt as the Giants went out with a whimper…..gotta do better than that if you want regular playing time Andres…..
BOCHY
After sitting for 30 minutes as Torre gave us a Felipe Alou flashback changing pitchers……Bochy sent Zito back out to walk Garrett Anderson to lead off the fateful 8th…..didn't go to Affeldt cause he Garrett is 6 for 11 off Jeremy (as Jeremy is well aware 7:40 mark of video) and didn't go to a right hander, because of that unwritten book of baseball……
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GB and JK ARCHIVES AT THE GIANTS BOARD BLOG
(The fine print: There will be cussing and bad taste. This is written with the heat of the moment feel you may have during the game, with rational though sprinkled in now and then. This is entertainment folks, sure there is a lot of truth and I am a genius, but this is all about having a laugh and enjoying the ride…….now lets go heckle Jeff Kent in when he gets inducted to Cooperstown..)
by merkin
