By now most of you have read 100 different takes on the Garko Trade…. from the Rose Colored Glasses Homers talking about RBI men, to the Calculus Professors discussing VORP, WAR, BABIP, OPS, and UZR….. but I know most of you are waiting for ME to tell you what to believe….. Well folks, here's the way ME sees it…. Garko is a hitter with power…. not a power hitter, so don't even think like that…..if you look at the basic numbers he has been similar to Conor Jackson, and you wouldn't call him a power hitter…… Now talk of a platoon with Ishikawa is off base as far as I can tell… if you look at platoon splits look at as much data as you can get….for Garko look at career splits….for Ishikawa look at Minor and Major league data ….neither player has a large platoon split and looks like Garko is doing more damage versus Righthanders than Ishikawa….I have read some people to say this was a silly trade as the downgrade from Ishikawa's defense offsets most of the gain from Garko's offense…..I call bullshit on this one, I mean I love a good glove man as much as the next guy but how bad can Garko be? Does Garko like to play first blindfolded without a glove or something? He's a fucking 1st baseman, which means if you can scoop and can catch anything within falling distance you are doing your job….. those sweet plays Ishikawa makes are nice, but not 20 runs a year nice…and heck, you can always Double Switch with the lead (hear that Bochy?)…So I hear Garko is slower than molasses….gimme a break, I have been watching Molina and Mark Sweeney for 4 years…..from what little I can see in highlights and video he is slow, but not ridiculous…..and only 6 DP's all year…..and a career 23.7 PA with men on/ DP compared with a 22.6 PA NL Average, 22.9 PA Giants Average and 14.4 PA Molina Average ……so he is an offensive upgrade, how much of an upgrade is he?? Well, I consulted my ouija board my crystal ball and my magical slide rule of truth, and Garko is worth 0.144 more runs per game or about 1 run per week…..and that’s assuming Ishi can keep his numbers where they are, which is not a given….and think about it…..how many times have you found yourself late in the game thinking, "If the Giants could have scored 0.144 more runs in the 6th inning, we would have won this game." Well fret no more, cause Garko is here and he may not be the savior…. but he is already showing dividends…..just tonight the Giants beat the Pirates 3.022 to 2.878…..
GAMEBALL and JOKER 07/28 PIRATES at GIANTS
GAMEBALL
AFFELDT
Hey, Affeldt has been well….money…..forget the 27 innings….that's 28 appearances without run…..that's fucking ridiculous…..some may say its easier to pitch 27 scoreless innings in relief, because you can come in with 1 or 2 outs already in the book and get pulled quick if you are in trouble….I submit to you that its HARDER in relief….28 times he warmed up in 12 different bullpens and had his stuff…….28 times he jogged to 12 different bullpens and was able to immediately find his groove…..I think of pitching like a golf swing, its about repetition, muscle memory, and feel…..If you play golf picture this in your mind….when you step out there on the first tee you are still getting into the feel of the day and have to break the ice mentally and physically….Affeldt just stepped up to the 1st tee 28 times and nailed drives right down the pipe…..chipped it up to the green…..and then drained the putt…..if you don't play golf… don't start…..its hard and expensive and time consuming……So here is your gameball Mr Affeldt, interesting celebration in the dugout, but to each his own, personally I prefer celebrating by taking a super soaker to any neighborhood cats I can find, but to each his own……
TIP OF THE CAP :
VELEZ
Tough one to be sure, but had to give the nod to Affeldt for the streak…..but Velez was the offense for the Giants today…..separated from the Giants coaching staff long enough that he remembered how to hit, and obviously loving the Major League per diem (just think of all the bird seed you can eat no Eugenio)…..we will forgive the miscue on the grounder…..and the scorer ruled it a hit anyway, and if its good enough for him……
LEWIS
What the fuck???? Again, good bat, bad glove syndrome strikes……ever get the feeling that Giants are the Land of Misfit Toys???
GARKO
Hit the ball hard twice…showed a nice stretch and scoop…...and actually CHOKED UP on the bat…..what is this little league?????
WILSON
We get on your ass when you make it tough, might as well tip the cap here when you make is easy…..and now, do the same thing 27 more times in a row and I promise we might like you too….
ZITO
Wasn't pretty at times, but it works for me… and BTW….Stadium gun showed 89 MPH for one pitch……Pitch F/X (independent of TV radar readings) Concurs…..so that means either there was a tear in the space time continuum…..or Zito is juicing…..you decide…..
BOCHY
GENIUS!!! Zito in between Cain and Lincecum? Contrasting styles help Zito out???? nope, that’s not the point…..Lincecum = Rested Pen, Zito = Tired Pen, Cain = Rested Pen…..hey, its not rocket science…..
JOKER
PANDA?
OMG, what the fuck happened……ok, I have been as guilty of the Pandazation of the 2009 Giants as anyone, perhaps even more guilty…..but what has it become….. it has grown out of control people, we have panda's for sale, people dressing as Pandas all over the park…..and now, sadly we have children who have never heard of Peter Criss inadvertently reviving the Catman look…..Heck, look at the kid……all he needs is a couple whiskers and a leather vest and I am pretty sure there are a couple stores on Folsom that could help him out……So kid……bust out the soap, and stick to hard plastic masks……anything else….well…hell, even Gay people thinks that’s way too Gay….
(click on thumbnail for larger photo, if you dare)
SMACK OF THE STICK :
GARKO
What the fuck kinda name is this???? Sounds like a European Small Forward who can pass and shoot threes…..
UMPS
How many fucking missed calls is that now…..like 4 is 2 days? at least???? so why did we get the AAAA crew??? I don't care how good he is at AAA, until they show they can call a game in the Majors, its just numbers…..
ISLAND of MISFIT TOYS
Ok, back to this thing……what a weird collection of players…..they are like the rejects with uneven buttons at the factory outlet……
Timmy too small
Randy too tall
Molina too slow
Panda too fat
Velez too skinny
Bowker with tiny arms
Schierholtz with the HUGE shoulders
Zito with the Nintentedo curve and the Buddist head
Sanchez with the nasty stuff and no head
Sadowski with the soft skull
Lewis with the sweet swing and butter fingers
Ishikawa with the sweet glove at an offensive position
Winn with the slappy hack from both side and noooooodle arm
Rowand taking a crap at the plate
Affeldt well…..hes a strange strange man
Romo, everything this kid does is crooked…..
Wilson….well…..52 cards short of a deck…….
Torres the old man with wheels and way too much energy…..
Now Garko, Stanford grad looks like a caveman,.,,
I could probably go on, but you get the drift…..
If you could take the best attributes from some of these players and combine them into a starting 9 you could have 9 hall of famers……
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